{"id":9999,"date":"2020-05-03T03:13:52","date_gmt":"2020-05-03T00:13:52","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/kadrandergi.com.tr\/?p=9999"},"modified":"2020-05-03T03:13:52","modified_gmt":"2020-05-03T00:13:52","slug":"o-mahur-besteler-arasinda-unuttu-butun-asklarini","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/?p=9999","title":{"rendered":"O, Mahur Besteler Aras\u0131nda Unuttu B\u00fct\u00fcn A\u015fklar\u0131n\u0131"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Onu ben, bulan\u0131k bir mevsim i\u00e7inde, ge\u00e7mi\u015fte sanki bir halay\u0131k, sanki g\u00fcz hen\u00fcz kapanmam\u0131\u015f yaralar\u0131m\u0131za gizli gizli damlarken tan\u0131d\u0131m. G\u00fcz kapanmam\u0131\u015ft\u0131 ve \u0131slak \u015foseden kalkan buruk bir \u00f6zlem tad\u0131 sakl\u0131yd\u0131 i\u00e7imde. Uzayan bir nehir gibi sarsak, uykusuz; bir kar\u0131nca kadar da gece doluydum k\u0131rg\u0131n orman\u0131mda. G\u00fczle k\u00fcrenmi\u015f o usan\u00e7 dolu sabahlarla ben, bir yaprak titre\u015fti\u011finde, en \u00e7ok, tutar g\u00fcne\u015fe uzat\u0131rd\u0131m \u00e7\u0131lg\u0131nca sars\u0131lan ba\u015f\u0131m\u0131. Oysa silinmez sand\u0131\u011f\u0131m b\u00fct\u00fcn bir yaz boyu, \u0131sl\u0131\u011f\u0131mda eskiyen \u015fark\u0131larla b\u00fcy\u00fctm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fck sevgimizi. B\u00fct\u00fcn bir yaz boyu, o hercai \u015fark\u0131lardan a\u015fkla ta\u015fan tavsam\u0131\u015f bir mutlulu\u011fun serenad\u0131yd\u0131 b\u00fct\u00fcn ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z. Mevsim i\u00e7re, s\u0131rna\u015f\u0131k g\u00fcne\u015fle b\u00fcy\u00fcyen, g\u00f6k rengi sevmelerle bar\u0131\u015f\u0131k bir h\u00e2l vard\u0131 aram\u0131zda cilveli halay\u0131kla. Durgun bir deniz ayartmas\u0131 vard\u0131; ten sanc\u0131s\u0131yla a\u011fulanan g\u00fcl k\u0131r\u0131m\u0131 bir de.<\/p>\n<p>   Som bak\u0131\u015fla imrendi\u011fimiz o g\u00fcz \u00e7elengi yani sombahar, k\u0131zaran g\u00fcllerden ne \u0131slak \u015fose \u00f6zlemleri ne de eskiyen \u0131sl\u0131k tad\u0131nda h\u00fcz\u00fcn dolu \u015fark\u0131lar imdat eyledi ikimize de. Durgun bir denizle b\u00f6l\u00fcnen iki kaygulu hayat sadece; iki g\u00f6k rengi sevmek yaras\u0131\u2026 \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc ya\u015famak hat\u0131rlamakt\u0131 ve hat\u0131ralar\u0131yla ya\u015fayanlardan olmu\u015ftuk biz de. O g\u00f6rkl\u00fc c\u0131lgar\u0131yla bize hayat nefhas\u0131 \u00fcfleyen kadim zamanlar i\u00e7inde biz, yani yaza yeti\u015fmek i\u00e7in \u00e7\u0131rp\u0131nan d\u00fc\u015f kafesinde iki ku\u015f kalbi gibi p\u0131t p\u0131t at\u0131yorduk g\u00fcz kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda, yalan de\u011fil. Bizi ac\u0131s\u0131na ortak k\u0131lan hayat, hi\u00e7bir zaman sevincimizin tayda\u015f\u0131 olmad\u0131, ne fayda. Bir solukta atlay\u0131p ge\u00e7ti\u011fimiz o deli d\u00fc\u015f \u0131rma\u011f\u0131 bize bereketli an\u0131lar bah\u015fetmedi kavlimizce. Bizim an\u0131s\u0131na a\u011flayaca\u011f\u0131m\u0131z g\u00fcnlerimiz de hi\u00e7 olmad\u0131, k\u0131rg\u0131n. Dedim ya, oysa silinmez sand\u0131\u011f\u0131m b\u00fct\u00fcn bir yaz boyu, \u0131sl\u0131\u011f\u0131mda eskiyen \u015fark\u0131larla b\u00fcy\u00fctm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fck sevgimizi. B\u00fct\u00fcn bir yaz boyu, o hercai \u015fark\u0131lardan a\u015fkla ta\u015fan tavsam\u0131\u015f bir mutlulu\u011fun serenad\u0131yd\u0131 b\u00fct\u00fcn ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z.<br \/>\n  Onu ben, sahte huzurla \u00e7evrili k\u00f6r bir d\u00fcnyada, avu\u00e7lar\u0131na dikenler batm\u0131\u015fken tan\u0131d\u0131m. Dikenler \u015fimdi kalbimde!<br \/>\n   H\u00e2lbuki \u015fimdi g\u00f6zlerin, k\u0131z\u0131l bir tan \u015fafa\u011f\u0131nda, ac\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 \u00f6mr\u00fcne kat\u0131k etmi\u015f bir \u015fehrin kederden tarihidir. Ac\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 bir \u015fehrin, \u00f6l\u00fcmlere ulanan \u015fehvetli sesiyle hatta o da\u011flarca sert y\u00fcreklere a\u015fk ad\u0131na \u00e7ak\u0131lan bir intikam yeminidir! Ne ki, geceyi sarsan ihtilal haberleri i\u00e7inde \u015fimdi kuytulara \u00e7ekilmi\u015f ve y\u0131lg\u0131n umutlarla b\u00fcy\u00fcyen o kararl\u0131 sevgilerin e\u015fsiz k\u0131\u015f\u0131 kadar yorgunuz, belli. Yorgunuz fakat art\u0131k kaybetmek yok; bald\u0131ranlar\u0131n, \u0131s\u0131rganlar\u0131n yurdunda yal\u0131nk\u0131l\u0131\u00e7 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnmenin tad\u0131na varanlar i\u00e7in. Yok yere a\u011flamak yok art\u0131k, o\u011fula ve k\u0131za arma\u011fan bir a\u015fk ge\u00e7idinde \u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fc seyredenler ad\u0131na. B\u00fct\u00fcn \u015fehirleri \u015fehitleriyle donatan o kutlu tan, yani \u00f6fkesini diren\u00e7le i\u00e7imize sark\u0131tan\u2026 <\/p>\n<p>    \u015eimdi g\u00f6zlerin, mahrem sanc\u0131larla su\u00e7lu, i\u015fbirlik\u00e7i sendikalara eme\u011fini satan \u00e7aresiz bir i\u015f\u00e7inin hayk\u0131ran grev provas\u0131d\u0131r! Bayraklar alt\u0131nda senin, mar\u015flar i\u00e7in seninle, g\u0131rtla\u011f\u0131ndan ta\u015fan do\u011furgan bir \u00f6fkeyle o \u00e7aresiz i\u015f\u00e7inin al\u0131n teridir g\u00f6zlerin! Her ad\u0131mda y\u00fcr\u00fcyen ve b\u00fct\u00fcn sabahlar\u0131n\u0131 a\u015fkla karg\u0131\u015flayanlar aras\u0131nda sesin, y\u00fckselen bayra\u011f\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n kutlu zaferidir! Siperlerde se\u011firen fa\u015fizmin o karanl\u0131k kat\u0131nda evlere, uykulara, bah\u00e7elere ve tahvil senetlerine bula\u015fm\u0131\u015f kand\u0131r t\u00fck\u00fcrd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm\u00fcz. Kand\u0131r, Allah\u2019a secde edenleri yarg\u0131layan haysiyetsiz b\u00fct\u00fcn diller! Kand\u0131r, dualar\u0131m\u0131zla u\u011furlanan \u015fehitlerimizi tahkir eden b\u00fct\u00fcn \u00f6dlek y\u00fcrekler!<br \/>\n    \u015eimdi g\u00f6zlerin, halklar\u0131 karanl\u0131klara bo\u011farken a\u015fk\u0131 kundaklayanlar\u0131n \u00f6fkesinde durulmu\u015f co\u015fkun bir d\u00fc\u015f \u0131rma\u011f\u0131d\u0131r! Filistin\u2019de direni\u015f, Do\u011fu T\u00fcrkistan\u2019da dua, M\u0131s\u0131r\u2019da hayk\u0131r\u0131\u015f, Suriye\u2019de katliam, Irak\u2019ta endi\u015fedir \u015fimdi g\u00f6zlerin! Haritalar boyu akan bir karanl\u0131k i\u00e7inde d\u00fcnya, d\u00fc\u015flerimize di\u015flerini ge\u00e7iren sayg\u0131s\u0131z Bat\u0131 kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda hep sustu, g\u00f6rd\u00fck bunu da. B\u00fct\u00fcn sebepleri demokrasi k\u0131tl\u0131\u011f\u0131nda arayan sahtek\u00e2rlar\u0131n avundu\u011fu bo\u011fazdaki villalar, robd\u00f6\u015fambrlar ve viskiler i\u00e7inde huzurlu o sahtek\u00e2r yav\u015faklar yani, b\u00fcy\u00fctt\u00fckleri k\u0131\u00e7lar\u0131n\u0131 ku\u015ft\u00fcy\u00fc yataklar\u0131ndan kald\u0131r\u0131p anlayamazlar oluk oluk akan mazlumlar\u0131n kan\u0131n\u0131. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc dolar baz\u0131nda y\u00fckselir towerlar\u0131, \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc Bat\u0131\u2019ya endeksli kurtlu bir mankurtla ba\u011fl\u0131d\u0131r hepsi sus paylar\u0131n\u0131 ald\u0131klar\u0131 efendilerine!<\/p>\n<p>    \u015eimdi g\u00f6zlerin, direni\u015fle y\u00fccelecek b\u00fct\u00fcn i\u015f\u00e7ilerin, emek\u00e7ilerin, k\u00f6yl\u00fclerin, a\u015fkla tazelenen imanlar\u0131nda hayat bulacak, biliyorum. Ya\u015famak \u015fark\u0131s\u0131nda y\u00fckselen bir ac\u0131 ten tad\u0131 duracak i\u00e7imizde hep, bunu da. O yoksul mahallelerden, ta\u015fralardan, varo\u015flardan y\u00fckselecek umudun bitimsiz karde\u015fli\u011fi, \u201cyery\u00fcz\u00fc a\u015fk\u0131n y\u00fcz\u00fc oluncaya dek.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>    \u015eimdi g\u00f6zlerin, g\u00f6zlerimde a\u015fkla tutu\u015fan yank\u0131l\u0131 bir devrim! <\/p>\n<p>    Sonra b\u00fcy\u00fcl\u00fc bir \u201cke\u015fkeler alb\u00fcm\u00fc\u201dn\u00fcn tam ortas\u0131ndan sokuldun \u015fark\u0131lara. Kitaplarda \u0131\u015f\u0131yan masal buhurdan\u0131 bir k\u00f6z gibi avu\u00e7lad\u0131k yaln\u0131zl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 her mevsim. K\u0131\u015f dolu bir yolcuydun \u00fcstelik ve gece gezmelerinde en \u00e7ok, an\u0131s\u0131 s\u0131z\u0131l\u0131 tuhaf kelimeler biriktirirdin bir de. Bilirdim, rahmete \u00e7evrili kalbini ge\u00e7 vakit \u015fak\u0131rdayan ya\u011fmurlara adard\u0131n; an\u0131s\u0131 s\u0131z\u0131l\u0131 bir adanm\u0131\u015fl\u0131kla \u00fcstelik. Ans\u0131z\u0131n rahmet ve ans\u0131z\u0131n s\u0131zlayan bir gen\u00e7lik hat\u0131ras\u0131 \u00e7evirirdi yolunu. Durgun kelimelere s\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131rd\u0131 da bir yer alt\u0131 \u00e7a\u011flayan\u0131yla titrerdi kalbi daha \u00e7ok. Sonra b\u00fct\u00fcn o eskimeyen k\u0131\u015f boyunca bitirdi\u011fi kitaplara sar\u0131ld\u0131, bitirdi\u011fi eskice bir a\u015fk\u0131 kederli sayfalarda unutmak i\u00e7in. Kitaplar, kediler ve \u00e7i\u00e7eklerle s\u00fcsl\u00fc kalbini, f\u0131s\u0131lt\u0131yla b\u00fcy\u00fcyen \u015fark\u0131lara g\u00f6md\u00fc, duyduk. O, b\u00fcy\u00fcl\u00fc bir sazendelik fasl\u0131nda e\u011fle\u015fen, mahur besteler aras\u0131nda unuttu b\u00fct\u00fcn a\u015fklar\u0131n\u0131. Her notas\u0131nda aksak, her notas\u0131nda a\u011fr\u0131l\u0131 bir kalp \u00e7arp\u0131nt\u0131s\u0131 e\u015fli\u011finde soludu\u011fu hayat, \u201cyata\u011f\u0131na k\u0131rg\u0131n \u0131rmaklar\u201d gibi kesti d\u00fc\u015flerini sonra. Unuttu b\u00fct\u00fcn a\u015fklar\u0131n\u0131 ve kelimelerle kanad\u0131 b\u00fct\u00fcn bir k\u0131\u015f boyu. Aram\u0131za serilen onca ayr\u0131l\u0131\u011fa ra\u011fmen, mevsim i\u00e7inde o esrik t\u0131ls\u0131mlar\u0131 hat\u0131rlatan naifli\u011fiyle daha \u00e7ok, kanad\u0131, kanad\u0131, kanad\u0131\u2026 Bir g\u00fcl gibi solan takvim yapraklar\u0131ndan geriye, gen\u00e7 k\u0131zl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 yorgun atlarla yar\u0131\u015ft\u0131ran i\u00e7li ya\u015famaklar kald\u0131 sonra. Art\u0131k y\u0131lg\u0131n sevgiler korosu i\u00e7imizde, o dingin \u015fark\u0131larla hat\u0131rl\u0131yor ikimizi. Hat\u0131rl\u0131yor ve kanayan b\u00fct\u00fcn t\u00fcrk\u00fcler ve \u015fiirler ayn\u0131 tekrar\u0131nda bilinen o meyus ger\u00e7e\u011fin, \u201cAyr\u0131l\u0131k \u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fcn di\u011fer ismidir\u2026\u201d  <\/p>\n<p>     Hat\u0131rl\u0131yorum, mevsimler de\u011fi\u015fti sonra. Bukleli ayr\u0131l\u0131klar toplam\u0131 o nedamet dolu g\u00f6\u011f\u00fcslerde gizlenen kader par\u00e7ac\u0131klar\u0131 da\u011f\u0131ld\u0131 her yere. \u0130\u00e7imiz k\u0131\u015f kadar neft\u00ee, g\u00f6vdemizden ta\u015fan sab\u0131r kadar unutkan\u0131z \u015fimdi. O mevsimsiz d\u00fc\u015f evlerinde b\u00fcy\u00fctt\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm\u00fcz hat\u0131ralar kadar olsun sakl\u0131 de\u011filiz art\u0131k. Pencere \u00f6nlerindeki begonyalar\u0131n, hatmilerin, fesle\u011fenlerin boy verdi\u011fi zamanlar de\u011fi\u015fti. K\u0131\u015f, i\u00e7imizde neft\u00ee ayr\u0131l\u0131klar toplam\u0131 m\u00fcflis bir t\u00fcccar \u015fimdi. Bize katran karas\u0131 haberlerle yana\u015fan d\u00fcnya, p\u00f6rs\u00fctt\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm\u00fcz zamanlar\u0131n intikam\u0131n\u0131 al\u0131yor, belli. \u0130ncinen, ezilen, t\u00fckenen taraflar\u0131yla bir bir \u00e7ekip al\u0131yor hepimizi, hepimizin i\u00e7inden; d\u00fcnya, ma\u011frur bak\u0131\u015flar\u0131yla b\u00fcy\u00fct\u00fcyor yeniden\/yenilen insanl\u0131\u011f\u0131! Kaybetti\u011fimiz\/kaybolan insanl\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z\u0131!<\/p>\n<p>    Sonra sustun ve aram\u0131za bulan\u0131k bir d\u00fcnya girdi birden. Serin yaz ikindilerinde ba\u015faklanan sevincimiz girdi i\u015fte. Sevmek bir \u00f6l\u00fcm aralanmas\u0131yd\u0131 daralan \u00f6mr\u00fcm\u00fczde; sustun ve daralm\u0131\u015f bir d\u00fcnya sanc\u0131d\u0131 i\u00e7imizde. Ben o vakit, s\u0131ska bir o\u011fland\u0131m, kolu dal\u0131 upuzun hem de. Resimli romanlar biriktirirdim \u00fcstelik. \u201cYaln\u0131z\u201d odalarda a\u011flamak i\u00e7in yani. Saks\u0131larda g\u00fcl dal\u0131, saks\u0131larda fesle\u011fenler b\u00fcy\u00fct\u00fcrd\u00fcm bir de, mintan\u0131m bindall\u0131. Duda\u011f\u0131mda o serin yaz ak\u015famlar\u0131yla t\u00fcts\u00fclenmi\u015f kederli \u0131sl\u0131klar, yana\u011f\u0131mda bir pencere alt\u0131nda beklemenin k\u0131zar\u0131kl\u0131\u011f\u0131 olurdu hep. Bir de g\u00f6vdemde dakikalar g\u00fcmb\u00fcrt\u00fcyle ge\u00e7erdi de o yaz penceresinde akl\u0131ma d\u00fc\u015fen g\u00f6zlerinle g\u00fczelle\u015firdi okudu\u011fum o i\u00e7li romanlar.<\/p>\n<p>    Sustun ve aram\u0131za bulan\u0131k bir d\u00fcnya girdi birden. O mahzun susu\u015flarla \u00fcrperdi akl\u0131m\u0131n k\u0131y\u0131s\u0131nda \u00e7o\u011falan serin yaz ikindileri i\u015fte. Yani sen, ayn\u0131 resimli romanlarla ayn\u0131 \u201cyaln\u0131z\u201d odalarda a\u011flayan o i\u00e7li k\u0131z, saks\u0131larda a\u00e7elya, saks\u0131larda camdibi b\u00fcy\u00fct\u00fcrd\u00fcn. \u00dcstelik ete\u011fin g\u00fcll\u00fc dall\u0131&#8230; G\u00f6zlerin bir de yumu\u015fak ok\u015fay\u0131\u015flar\u0131yla \u00f6zleyi\u015flere tedirgin bir kumru bak\u0131\u015f\u0131 katard\u0131 i\u015fte. Duru bir sevin\u00e7le ta\u015fard\u0131n huzura bulanm\u0131\u015f bah\u00e7elerden; kalbin, kalbim kadar \u0131\u015f\u0131kl\u0131 bir lunapark e\u011flencesiydi daha \u00e7ok. Sonra filmler ge\u00e7erdi bir ba\u015f\u0131m\u0131za kald\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131zda s\u00f6zlerimiz aras\u0131nda; sen T\u00fcrk\u00e2n \u015eoray olurdun, bense Deli Kadir! Yumruk gibi inen Erol Ta\u015f kahkahas\u0131yla sinerdik a\u011fa\u00e7 diplerine, dillerimiz l\u00e2l!<\/p>\n<p>    \u0130\u015fte sonra, seslerimiz uzakla\u015ft\u0131 birbirinden, bir bo\u011funtu i\u00e7inde tetik; bir ac\u0131yla savrulu\u015f d\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc parma\u011f\u0131m\u0131zdan! \u015eimdi o s\u0131ska o\u011flan, yani Deli Kadir, \u00fcstelik kolu dal\u0131 upuzun hem de, \u201cA\u011flar\u0131m hat\u0131ra geldik\u00e7e g\u00fcl\u00fc\u015ft\u00fcklerimiz\u201d fasl\u0131nda ne yap\u0131yor bilmem.  Ya o resimli romanlara a\u011flayan i\u00e7li k\u0131z, yani T\u00fcrk\u00e2n Sultan, \u201cEn sonunda varm\u0131\u015fs\u0131n bir Erzincanl\u0131ya dediler, bilmem \u015fimdi h\u00e2l\u00e2 bu ilk kocanda m\u0131s\u0131n?\u201d<br \/>\nSustun ve upuzun bir \u00e7\u0131\u011fl\u0131k oldu aram\u0131zda susu\u015fun!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Onu ben, bulan\u0131k bir mevsim i\u00e7inde,&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":238,"featured_media":7542,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[67,53],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9999"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/238"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=9999"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9999\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=9999"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=9999"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=9999"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}