Ben, sevdan\u0131n yak\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131 sokakta y\u00fcr\u00fcyorum… Koyu bir sis i\u00e7inde arnavut kald\u0131r\u0131mlar\u0131. K\u00f6\u015fe ba\u015flar\u0131nda umars\u0131z fahi\u015feler. A\u011f\u0131zlar\u0131nda sak\u0131z, s\u0131rtlar\u0131nda ahlak abidesi m\u00fc\u015fteriler. Bir ayaz vuruyor terli v\u00fccutlar\u0131na. C\u00fczdanlar pahal\u0131, vicdanlar ucuz. Lime lime kesiyor seri katiller bir \u00e7o\u011funu. Kimin k\u0131z\u0131, kimin annesi, kimin karde\u015fi yerdeki cesetler; bilmiyorum…<\/p>\n
Ben sevdan\u0131n yak\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131 sokakta y\u00fcr\u00fcyorum… S\u00fclf\u00fcrl\u00fc bir r\u00fczgar esiyor yar\u0131 \u00e7\u0131plak. Hatta \u00e7\u0131r\u0131l\u00e7\u0131plak. \u00dcf\u00fcr\u00fcyor boyuna \u00e7eri \u00e7\u00f6p\u00fc kulaklara. Baz\u0131s\u0131 sarho\u015f olmu\u015f irininden, baz\u0131s\u0131 yemye\u015fil kusuyor, baz\u0131s\u0131 bilin\u00e7siz, baz\u0131s\u0131 \u00e7oktan gebermi\u015f. Saf a\u011fa\u00e7lar meltem san\u0131yor bu gayya nefesini. Alk\u0131\u015f tutuyor mahallenin ak\u0131ll\u0131 delileri kuruyan her taze fidana. Vedalar selam duruyor sahte ferahl\u0131\u011f\u0131na. Asfaltlar\u0131n keyfi yerinde. \u00c7\u00f6p\u00e7\u00fcler her sabah yerlerden topluyor bo\u011faz\u0131na kadar zifire batm\u0131\u015f zavall\u0131 ser\u00e7eleri. Zira, bir yerde bir k\u0131yamet kopsa, bir felaket kaplasa felaketine tap\u0131nanlar\u0131n \u00fczerini, ilkin ser\u00e7eler \u00f6l\u00fcrm\u00fc\u015f. \u0130lk onlar anlar, ilk onlar y\u0131k\u0131l\u0131r ve ilk onlar kaybedermi\u015f \u00fcmit \u0131\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131. \u00d6yle diyor, r\u00fczg\u00e2r\u0131n mabedinden yay\u0131n yapan ajans hoparl\u00f6rleri. Duyuyorum…<\/p>\n
Ben, sevdan\u0131n yak\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131 sokakta y\u00fcr\u00fcyorum… Azg\u0131n sulara g\u00f6m\u00fclm\u00fc\u015f bebekler bak\u0131yor kabirlerine. Vebal\u0131 ellerinin laneti s\u0131k\u0131yor saltanatlar\u0131n bo\u011faz\u0131n\u0131. Kaybedenlerin \u00e7\u0131\u011fl\u0131klar\u0131 t\u00fck\u00fcr\u00fcyor \u00fcrpermeyen \u00fcrpertilerin surat\u0131na. T\u00fcrl\u00fc t\u00fcrl\u00fc zul\u00fcmler, irtikaplar, ihtiraslar, inkisarlar, iltimaslar kar\u0131\u015f\u0131yor birbirine. Yok edilmi\u015f kavimlerin korku dolu bak\u0131\u015flar\u0131yla sars\u0131l\u0131yor yer. Yitik cennetini ar\u0131yor i\u015fkencelerde bedenler; korkuyorum…<\/p>\n
Ben sevdan\u0131n yak\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131 sokakta y\u00fcr\u00fcyorum… Camilerin kap\u0131s\u0131na zincir \u00e7ekmi\u015f s\u00f6zde zincir k\u0131r\u0131c\u0131lar. Ezanlar farkl\u0131, selalar ba\u015fka, mevlitler garip, k\u0131raatler bozuk. \u015eeytan bile u\u011framak istemiyor abdesti \u00e7oktan ka\u00e7m\u0131\u015f beynamazlara. Riya pa\u00e7alardan ak\u0131yor, kibir siyah tak\u0131m elbiselerden. Yalan, kas\u0131m kas\u0131m kas\u0131l\u0131yor hutbeyle vaaz ezberlerinde. A\u00e7lara kapal\u0131, toklara a\u00e7\u0131k kutsal korumalar. Beyinler afyon yemi\u015f, a\u011f\u0131zlar k\u00fcfretme makam\u0131nda, ci\u011ferlerde bonzai art\u0131\u011f\u0131 plastik esnemeler, y\u00fcrekler \u00e7oktan hap\u0131 yutmu\u015f. Ad\u0131 kalm\u0131\u015f g\u00fczelliklerin ad\u0131n\u0131 lekeliyor leke bilmedi\u011fini iddia edenler. \u00c7\u0131ld\u0131r\u0131yorum…<\/p>\n
Ben, sevdan\u0131n yak\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131 sokakta y\u00fcr\u00fcyorum… \u00c7\u00f6p kutular\u0131nda kediden \u00e7ok insan var. Kimi Afgan, kimi S\u00e2mi, kimi \u00f6z be \u00f6z yerli ve mill\u00ee! A\u00e7l\u0131k kol geziyor art\u0131klar\u0131yla. Aslan\u0131n a\u011fz\u0131nda de\u011fil ba\u011f\u0131rsaklar\u0131nda ya\u015fam sava\u015flar\u0131. Ta\u015f kaynatan \u00e7aresizlerin \u00e7aresizli\u011fi de\u011fiyor \u00e7aresizli\u011fe. Duyan yok, anlayan yok, hisseden yok. B\/oy veriyor u\u011fursuzlu\u011fa fukaral\u0131k. Bir bal\u00e7\u0131k y\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 ve zehirlenmi\u015f bir kalabal\u0131k… \u0130nanm\u0131yorum…<\/p>\n
Ben, sevdan\u0131n yak\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131 sokakta y\u00fcr\u00fcyorum… Etraf\u0131mda s\u0131ra s\u0131ra y\u0131k\u0131las\u0131 saraylar. \u0130\u00e7leri putlarla dolu ihti\u015famlar. K\u00fclliyen yalanlar, k\u00fclliyen kalpazanl\u0131klar. G\u0131rtlak fedaileri naralarla geziyor civarlar\u0131nda. Hayaletli katedraller, vampirli \u015fatolar ayd\u0131nl\u0131k kal\u0131yor karanl\u0131\u011f\u0131nda. A\u011flama duvar\u0131na \u00e7evrilmi\u015f y\u00fcksek panjurlu dokunulmazl\u0131k setleri. Ki o setlere u\u011fram\u0131yor ebabiller bile. \u0130rkiliyorum…<\/p>\n
Ben sevdan\u0131n yak\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131 sokakta y\u00fcr\u00fcyorum… Y\u00fczleri maskeli, isimleri sans\u00fcrl\u00fc s\u00fcvariler g\u00f6m\u00fcl\u00fcyor kerpi\u00e7ten a\u011f\u0131tlara. Bayraklar yar\u0131ya inmiyor \u00f6nemsiz! kahramanl\u0131klar\u0131 i\u00e7in. Sonra \u00e7ocuklar… Yetim \u00e7ocuklar… Ba\u015flar\u0131 ok\u015fanmayacak \u00e7ocuklar g\u00f6m\u00fcl\u00fcyor ta derine, en derine. Sessizce akan sa\u011fanaklar bo\u015fan\u0131yor dul kar\u0131lar\u0131n\u0131n y\u00fcrek yaralar\u0131ndan. Y\u0131k\u0131lan dev gibi analar \u00fc\u015f\u00fcyor yokluklar\u0131n\u0131n varl\u0131\u011f\u0131na. Nutuklar, s\u00f6ylevler, poz kesmeler, yalandan saf ba\u011flamalar g\u0131rla gidiyor, yaln\u0131z musallalar\u0131n temiz kald\u0131\u011f\u0131 bol eracifli u\u011furlamalar\u0131nda. \u0130\u011freniyorum…<\/p>\n
Ben sevdan\u0131n yak\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131 sokakta y\u00fcr\u00fcyorum… \u00dc\u015f\u00fcyor, titriyorum. Bu evler tan\u0131d\u0131k gelmiyor \u00fctopyalar\u0131ma. Cennete a\u00e7\u0131lm\u0131yor y\u00fczleri yol ayr\u0131mlar\u0131n\u0131n. Sanki her k\u00f6\u015feden bir cellat \u00e7\u0131kacak. Sanki her yabanc\u0131 g\u00f6lge, kesecek bo\u011faz\u0131m\u0131. N\u00fcfus k\u00e2\u011f\u0131d\u0131ma fail-i me\u00e7hul yazmaya niyetlenmi\u015f dilini bilmedi\u011fim sesler. Ne kadar y\u00fcr\u00fcrsem y\u00fcr\u00fcyeyim, hep ayn\u0131 yere, ba\u015flad\u0131\u011f\u0131m yere, bir t\u00fcrl\u00fc \u00e7\u0131kamad\u0131\u011f\u0131m yere, ba\u015f\u0131m\u0131n belas\u0131 olan bu yere geri d\u00f6n\u00fcyorum. Tabanlar\u0131m \u015fi\u015f, parmaklar\u0131m kan revan i\u00e7inde. Dursam, duram\u0131yorum. Ka\u00e7sam, ka\u00e7am\u0131yorum. Kolay m\u0131? En masumu \u00f6ld\u00fcrm\u00fc\u015fler bu sokakta. Ne yapsam bo\u015f, ne s\u00f6ylesem faydas\u0131z. Bir girdap gibi \u00e7ekiyor i\u00e7ine sevda katili beni. Cehennem bile tiksinmekte karanl\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan bu s\u00f6zde ayd\u0131nl\u0131\u011f\u0131n. \u00c7\u0131rp\u0131n\u0131yor, a\u011fl\u0131yor, yalvar\u0131yor; kurtulam\u0131yorum…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Ben, sevdan\u0131n yak\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131 sokakta y\u00fcr\u00fcyorum… Koyu…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":9873,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[67],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9872"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=9872"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9872\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=9872"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=9872"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=9872"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}