\u015eu \u2018\u2018yaz\u0131\u2019\u2019 dedi\u011fimiz \u015fey, iyi ki<\/p>\n
icat edilmi\u015f de; kapatm\u0131\u015f \u00e7a\u011flar\u0131n tarih \u00f6ncesini.<\/p>\n
\u0130nsan derdini nas\u0131l anlat\u0131rd\u0131 ba\u015fka?<\/p>\n
Ben bilmiyorum.<\/p>\n
Sesini nas\u0131l \u00e7\u0131kar\u0131rd\u0131 ya\u015fama?<\/p>\n
O ses bazen yaln\u0131zca<\/p>\n
bir kalem ucunun k\u0131r\u0131l\u0131\u015f sesi olsa da, ba\u015flang\u0131\u00e7t\u0131r;<\/p>\n
ilk ad\u0131md\u0131r; yaz.<\/p>\n
F\u0131rt\u0131na \u00f6ncesi sessizli\u011fi bozand\u0131r, yaz.<\/p>\n
O g\u00fcn neyi hayk\u0131ramad\u0131ysan, misal;<\/p>\n
hayat\u0131n samimiyetsizli\u011fine, sahteli\u011fine inat; yaz.<\/p>\n
Bir \u00f6yle bir b\u00f6yleli\u011fine isyan et hayat\u0131n.<\/p>\n
Durma, anlat; hayat komik de\u011fil diyenin,<\/p>\n
hayat\u0131 hen\u00fcz anlamland\u0131ramad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131\u2026<\/p>\n
Sevdi\u011fin filmi milyonuncu kez izleyip<\/p>\n
yine bir \u00f6ncekinden daha tatmin olu\u015funu anlat.<\/p>\n
Kitaplarda yazmazsa hepsi, senin duygunsa bu; al kalemi eline.<\/p>\n
Hissettik\u00e7e yaz, yazd\u0131k\u00e7a hisset.<\/p>\n
Hissetmeyi unutursan \u015fayet yine de yaz,<\/p>\n
-\u015fu s\u0131ralar s\u0131k duyuyorum \u2018\u2018hissedemeyenleri\u2019\u2019-<\/p>\n
Ben hissediyorum ama eminim.<\/p>\n
Bazen d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnmeyi unutup yaln\u0131zca hissediyorum.<\/em><\/p>\n Ancak b\u00f6yle ya\u015famay\u0131 biliyorum.<\/em><\/p>\n B\u00f6yle buluyorum kendimi, her kaybolu\u015fumda.<\/em><\/p>\n Sular seller gibi okumay\u0131 ba\u015faramay\u0131nca,<\/p>\n sular seller gibi yazmak geliyor i\u00e7imden.<\/p>\n Onca enkaz i\u00e7inden y\u00fczerek \u00e7\u0131kmam\u0131 sa\u011flayan, yine \u2018\u2018yaz\u0131\u2019\u2019 dedi\u011fimiz\u2026<\/p>\n <\/p>\n G\u00fcn gelir s\u0131\u011fmazsa i\u00e7ime hayallerim, biriken duygular\u0131m<\/p>\n nas\u0131l atar\u0131m onlar\u0131 i\u00e7imden, \u00e7\u0131\u011fl\u0131k misali?<\/p>\n Atamazsam nas\u0131l s\u0131k\u0131\u015ft\u0131r\u0131r\u0131m i\u00e7ime onlar\u0131, zarar vermeden?<\/p>\n Korkar\u0131m, sak\u0131n k\u00fcsmesinler bana diye.<\/p>\n Bazen konu\u015famam, anlatamam kendimi.<\/p>\n Bir yazmay\u0131 bilirim, bir de yazd\u0131\u011f\u0131m s\u0131rada sevdi\u011fim \u015fark\u0131 \u00e7alarken<\/p>\n ba\u015f\u0131mla ritim tutmay\u0131. O kadar.<\/p>\n Bunlard\u0131r ben yapan beni.<\/p>\n -umar\u0131m duygular\u0131n bu \u015fekilde ifadesi,<\/p>\n unutulup gitmez zamanla-<\/p>\n Ama ben daha \u00e7ok sar\u0131laca\u011f\u0131m, s\u00f6z, yaz\u0131lara.<\/p>\n Kalabal\u0131ktan ka\u00e7\u0131p ka\u00e7\u0131p s\u0131\u011f\u0131naca\u011f\u0131m kalemime.<\/p>\n Vakit itiraf vakti: Sevmiyorum kalabal\u0131\u011f\u0131.<\/p>\n Yaln\u0131zca s\u00f6zc\u00fcklerin kalabal\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 seviyorum.<\/em><\/p>\n Yaln\u0131zca c\u00fcmlelerin sesleri c\u0131v\u0131lt\u0131 geliyor bana, <\/em><\/p>\n gerisi kupkuru g\u00fcr\u00fclt\u00fc.<\/em><\/p>\n Ba\u015fka t\u00fcrl\u00fcs\u00fc bo\u011fuyor beni;<\/p>\n yoruyor, y\u0131prat\u0131yor her ge\u00e7en g\u00fcn.<\/p>\n Zaten kaybolurum onlar\u0131n aras\u0131nda;<\/p>\n yetersiz hissettirirler kendimi, her defas\u0131nda.<\/p>\n Benim sevdiklerim hep daha karma\u015f\u0131k.<\/p>\n B\u00f6ylesi g\u00fcvende hissettiriyor. Evime d\u00f6n\u00fcyorum sanki…<\/p>\n Can\u0131g\u00fcz okuyorum.<\/p>\n -farkl\u0131 bir d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnce ama-<\/p>\n bir tek onu okurken \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131yor sanki kafam.<\/p>\n Daha \u00f6nce s\u00f6yledim mi, bilmem:<\/em><\/p>\n \u0130yi ki icat edilmi\u015f, \u2018\u2018yaz\u0131\u2019\u2019 dedi\u011fimiz.<\/em><\/p>\n Yoksa nas\u0131l okurduk Can\u0131g\u00fcz romanlar\u0131n\u0131?<\/em><\/p>\n Binlerce seneden beri eme\u011fi ge\u00e7en herkese binlerce minnet\u2026<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" \u015eu \u2018\u2018yaz\u0131\u2019\u2019 dedi\u011fimiz \u015fey, iyi ki…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":183,"featured_media":9516,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[53,64],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9515"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/183"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=9515"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9515\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=9515"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=9515"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=9515"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}