\u201cBak\u0131\u015f\u0131 \u00e7\u0131\u011fl\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan da ac\u0131yd\u0131. Kad\u0131n \u00f6n\u00fcm\u00fczde yine ba\u011f\u0131rd\u0131. Bir insan ba\u011fr\u0131n\u0131n bu kadar ac\u0131y\u0131 nas\u0131l bar\u0131nd\u0131rabilece\u011fine \u015fa\u015ft\u0131m. Donmu\u015f, kara bahtl\u0131 bir y\u00fcz. Dayanabilece\u011finden \u00e7ok daha fazlas\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7ekmi\u015f bir \u00e7ocuk y\u00fcz\u00fc. \u0130nsan o kadar ac\u0131yordu ki, bak\u0131\u015f\u0131n\u0131n \u00f6n\u00fcnde, onun kadar mutsuz olamad\u0131\u011f\u0131na utan\u0131yor ve ona adeta \u2018Beni affet!\u2019 diye yalvaras\u0131 geliyordu.\u201d (Aganta Burina Burinata)
\nCevat \u015eakir bu c\u00fcmleleri yazarken o kad\u0131n\u0131 ger\u00e7ekten g\u00f6rm\u00fc\u015f m\u00fc yoksa kurgu olsun diye mi eklemi\u015f bilemiyorum. Ama bu c\u00fcmleyi okudu\u011fumda benim gibi d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnen biriyle, y\u0131llar \u00f6nce ya\u015fam\u0131\u015f birinin sat\u0131rlar\u0131nda kar\u015f\u0131la\u015fm\u0131\u015f oldum. \u0130\u00e7imde o bir t\u00fcrl\u00fc tarife erdiremedi\u011fim duygular vard\u0131 i\u015fte bu sat\u0131rlarda.
\nYaral\u0131 y\u00fcreklerin g\u00f6zleri\u2026 Onlar\u0131n ac\u0131lar\u0131n\u0131 anlat\u0131rken art\u0131k akmamaya al\u0131\u015fan g\u00f6zya\u015flar\u0131, bir bir senden d\u00f6k\u00fcl\u00fcr ya hani, susars\u0131n uzun uzun. Tek yapabildi\u011fin \u015feyin elini tutmak olmas\u0131 da ayr\u0131 bir \u00e7aresizlik. Bir g\u00f6z vard\u0131 mesela, yine anlatt\u0131 uzun uzun. \u201cBeddua edemem biliyorum ama elimi bile a\u00e7maya mecalim yoktu, yand\u0131m dedim. Durdum, sustum, sadece yand\u0131m.\u201d Bu c\u00fcmleleri duyarken ah o an gelseymi\u015fim yan\u0131na dedim, gidemezdim. Ke\u015fke bir yol bulabilsem dedim, yok biliyorum. Elini tuttum, sar\u0131ld\u0131m, ama \u00f6yle bir \u015fey ki ak\u0131yor dedi\u011fin g\u00f6zya\u015flar\u0131, hep i\u00e7ine akt\u0131. Onun yan\u0131nda akamazlard\u0131. O y\u00fcreklerin yan\u0131nda \u00fcz\u00fclemezsin, b\u00f6yle i\u00e7in c\u0131z\u0131r c\u0131z\u0131r olur ama \u00fcz\u00fclemezsin, olmaz bir t\u00fcrl\u00fc. O g\u00f6zlerin \u201cYand\u0131m Allah\u2019\u0131m, yand\u0131m\u201d derken zaten ula\u015fabilece\u011fi en iyi adrese dilek\u00e7eyi g\u00f6nderdi\u011fini anlars\u0131n, sana d\u00fc\u015fenin destek olmak oldu\u011funu.
\nBir g\u00f6z var, bin c\u00fcmleyle anlatamad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u2026 Bir g\u00f6z var, bin duyguya s\u0131\u011fd\u0131ramad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u2026 Bin g\u00f6z var, say\u0131lar\u0131n\u0131 azaltamad\u0131\u011f\u0131n; onlar\u0131n da \u00e7\u0131\u011fl\u0131klar\u0131na s\u0131\u011fd\u0131ramad\u0131\u011f\u0131 ac\u0131lar\u0131, g\u00f6zya\u015flar\u0131yla s\u00f6nd\u00fcremedi\u011fi yang\u0131nlar\u0131, eninde sonunda susmak zorunda kald\u0131klar\u0131\u2026 Her damlada o kadar can\u0131n\u0131n yanmad\u0131\u011f\u0131 g\u00fcnlere de \u00f6zlem duyuyor. Her s\u0131z\u0131da \u00e7ocuklu\u011funa d\u00f6nmek istiyor. Hani demi\u015fti ya kitapta \u201cDayanabilece\u011finden fazlas\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7ekmi\u015f bir \u00e7ocuk y\u00fcz\u00fc.\u201d Ac\u0131 \u00e7ektik\u00e7e \u00e7ocukla\u015fan bir kalp, belki g\u00fcnahlara kefaret olan s\u0131z\u0131larla gittik\u00e7e masumla\u015fan bir y\u00fcrek.
\nBir de elini bile tutamayaca\u011f\u0131m\u0131z kadar uzakta olanlar var. \u00c7aresizli\u011fin, acizli\u011fin en kor hali. Kimi patl\u0131yor, yeter art\u0131k diyor, vazge\u00e7iyor. Kimi pay\u0131m\u0131za gariplik d\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc, elhamd\u00fclillah diyor. Ama hepsi susuyor. \u201c\u0130nsan\u0131 sessiz kalmaya zorlayan ac\u0131, ba\u011f\u0131rmaya zorlayandan daha b\u00fcy\u00fckt\u00fcr\u201d derler ya, i\u015fte o binlerce g\u00f6z i\u00e7in s\u00f6ylenmi\u015f. Sanki susabilmek de kolaym\u0131\u015f gibi\u2026 Sabr\u0131n v\u00fccut bulmu\u015f halidir o g\u00f6zler. Dayanmak ne demek, ayakta kalmak ne demek buyurup onlardan dinlemeli. Onca kalp a\u011fr\u0131s\u0131na ra\u011fmen nice yard\u0131ma muhta\u00e7lara da ko\u015farlar. Yaln\u0131z de\u011filsin demek i\u00e7in bazen, ben kalkt\u0131m sen de kalkabilirsin demek i\u00e7in veya gel beraber kalkal\u0131m diyebilmek i\u00e7in\u2026 Bak\u0131\u015flarla anla\u015f\u0131rlar onlar, konu\u015fmaya ihtiya\u00e7lar\u0131 yoktur. Dayan\u0131kl\u0131l\u0131k \u00f6yle bir yans\u0131m\u0131\u015ft\u0131r ki her hallerine, sab\u0131rlar\u0131ndan tan\u0131rlar birbirlerini.<\/p>\n
Selam olsun o yorgun olsa da candan kalan y\u00fcreklere ve \u00fcmit olsun birazdan aktaraca\u011f\u0131m birka\u00e7 g\u00fczel dize.
\n\u201cBitecek c\u00fcmle zul\u00fcm, k\u00f6r gecenin son demi
\nDinecek g\u00f6ky\u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fcn par\u00e7alayan m\u00e2temi
\nYavrum! Yeti\u015fir elbet yard\u0131m\u0131 masumlu\u011fun
\nA\u011flayanlar g\u00fclecek bir g\u00fcn, emin ol, emi!\u201d (Halil Cengiz)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
\u201cBak\u0131\u015f\u0131 \u00e7\u0131\u011fl\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan da ac\u0131yd\u0131. Kad\u0131n \u00f6n\u00fcm\u00fczde…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":37,"featured_media":9486,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[67,53],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9485"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/37"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=9485"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9485\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=9485"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=9485"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=9485"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}