Hi\u00e7bir \u015feyin kendisi, d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcncesi kadar de\u011ferli olamad\u0131. Ne kadar g\u00fczel \u015feyler ya\u015farsam ya\u015fayay\u0131m; g\u00fcnl\u00fc\u011f\u00fcmde yazanlar, ya\u015fad\u0131klar\u0131mdan daha etkileyiciydi. Ayn\u0131 \u015fekilde kimi seversek sevelim, ak\u0131ldaki h\u00e2li ger\u00e7e\u011fine oranla kusursuz oldu hep.<\/p>\n
Hangisi ger\u00e7ek olan? G\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn m\u00fc yoksa hissetti\u011fin mi? G\u00f6r\u00fclen mant\u0131kl\u0131d\u0131r ama ger\u00e7ek oldu\u011funa hi\u00e7bir zaman emin olamay\u0131z, olmamal\u0131y\u0131z. Her \u015feyi, bir yere kadar g\u00f6rebiliriz. Tamam\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6rmek s\u0131n\u0131rs\u0131zl\u0131k ister, tarafs\u0131zl\u0131k ister; fanilikten uzakt\u0131r. O zaman akl\u0131m\u0131zda olu\u015fan \u015fekildir esas olan. Ne olurdu, en iyi ihtimalle 80 y\u0131l ya\u015fayaca\u011f\u0131m\u0131z, \u015fu d\u00fcnyada her \u015feyi kafam\u0131zdaki h\u00e2liyle ya\u015fasak? Mesela seninle hen\u00fcz konu\u015fmad\u0131k bile. Tan\u0131\u015fm\u0131yor say\u0131l\u0131r\u0131z de\u011fil mi? Belki farkl\u0131 d\u00fcnyalar\u0131n insanlar\u0131 bile say\u0131l\u0131r\u0131z. Ya ayn\u0131 \u015fark\u0131y\u0131 dinliyorsak \u015fu an; ya da ayn\u0131 kitab\u0131 okuyorsak? \u0130\u015fte, art\u0131k tan\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u015f\u0131z sayar\u0131m ben bunu. Belki o kitab\u0131n ayn\u0131 sayfas\u0131n\u0131 k\u0131v\u0131r\u0131p (bu konuda hassasiyeti olanlardan de\u011filsen)italik<\/em> yaz\u0131lm\u0131\u015f c\u00fcmlenin alt\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7izdik. Ayn\u0131 olaylara direnmi\u015f, ayn\u0131 haks\u0131zl\u0131\u011fa \u00e7\u0131karm\u0131\u015f olabiliriz de sesimizi.<\/p>\n \u0130kimiz de inand\u0131k bir g\u00fcn d\u00fcnyaca tan\u0131nan bir insan olaca\u011f\u0131m\u0131za, profesyonelce ilgilendi\u011fimiz hi\u00e7bir alan olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131 h\u00e2lde. Sonra da dileyecektik d\u00fcnya bar\u0131\u015f\u0131n\u0131\u2026 Hatta d\u00fcnyay\u0131 kurtaracakt\u0131k; hani hi\u00e7 yoksul kalmayana dek \u00e7al\u0131\u015facak, a\u011flayan \u00e7ocuk kalmayana dek g\u00fcl\u00fcmseyecek ve anneleri de \u00f6l\u00fcms\u00fcz k\u0131lacakt\u0131k ya! Bunu hat\u0131rlars\u0131n i\u015fte.Ayn\u0131 hayallerle ayakta duruyoruz. Y\u0131lmadan, y\u0131k\u0131lmadan\u2026 Yine de zaman zaman d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnceli\u2026 Yaln\u0131z olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 bilsek, \u00e7ok farkl\u0131 ya\u015fard\u0131k oysa hayat\u0131. Pe\u015finden gitmeye korkmazd\u0131k o hayallerin; d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcncesi dahi ne b\u00fcy\u00fck l\u00fctuf!<\/p>\n T\u0131pk\u0131 Erba\u015f gibi, \u2018\u2018hayalin ger\u00e7e\u011fe de\u011fdi\u011fi yeri\u2019\u2019 sevmeyi s\u00fcrd\u00fcr\u00fcrsek, sana s\u00f6yleyeceklerim var. Tan\u0131\u015fmad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnmeni istemem \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc. Ortak noktalar\u0131m\u0131z \u00e7ok, yani \u00f6yle olmas\u0131n\u0131 umuyorum. Tan\u0131san sevece\u011fin \u015fark\u0131lar biliyorum hem. G\u00f6z g\u00f6ze gelsek akl\u0131mdan ge\u00e7ecek bestelerim de var benim, sar\u0131lsak kesilecek nefesim de\u2026<\/p>\n Sevdi\u011fimi hissediyorum ben ve de sevildi\u011fimi. Nas\u0131l\u0131n\u0131 sorma. G\u00fczelli\u011fine on \u00fczerinden on iki vermek gibi masum. R\u00fczg\u00e2rda ipini s\u0131k\u0131 ba\u011flamad\u0131\u011f\u0131n balonun ufka kavu\u015fmak i\u00e7in, ona ula\u015famadan patlayaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 bildi\u011fi h\u00e2lde, keyifle u\u00e7mas\u0131 gibi umutlu. Umar\u0131m b\u00f6yle u\u00e7up gitmezsin hat\u0131r\u0131mdan. O zaman bir g\u00f6lgeden farks\u0131z olurum senin i\u00e7in… G\u00f6r\u00fcyorsun ama fazlas\u0131 yok; akl\u0131nda yokum, kalbinde yokum: Yaln\u0131zca g\u00f6lgeyim. Yaln\u0131z bir g\u00f6lgeyim ben.<\/p>\n Ama sevdi\u011fimi hissediyorum ve de sevildi\u011fimi.<\/p>\n \u0130nsan birini tan\u0131madan nas\u0131l sevsin?<\/p>\n Bir g\u00fcn beni g\u00f6r\u00fcrsen, tan\u0131\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 an\u0131msa; bana g\u00fcl\u00fcmse ki, bu yaln\u0131z g\u00f6lge v\u00fccut bulabilsin.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Hi\u00e7bir \u015feyin kendisi, d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcncesi kadar de\u011ferli…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":183,"featured_media":9453,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[67],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9451"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/183"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=9451"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9451\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=9451"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=9451"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=9451"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}