Senin olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n neresi varsa, yurt diyorlar ad\u0131na. Yoksun, olmayan \u00f6yle \u00e7ok \u015fey var ki… Sen yoksun ve senin yoklu\u011funda g\u00fcne\u015f do\u011fmuyor buralara. Yoksun ve ben; s\u0131n\u0131rlar\u0131 belli bir co\u011frafyan\u0131n, \u0131ss\u0131zl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 ya\u015f\u0131yorum.<\/p>\n
T\u00fcm bu olmayanlar\u0131 s\u0131rt\u0131ma y\u00fckleyip, g\u00fcne\u015fi do\u011furtmak \u00fczere yola koyuluyorum. Gelen mektuplar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n b\u0131rak\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131 posta kutusunun \u00e7elimsiz ayaklar\u0131na ba\u011flad\u0131\u011f\u0131m bisikletimi, h\u00fcrriyetine kavu\u015fsun diye kap\u0131s\u0131 a\u00e7\u0131lan kafesteki bir ku\u015f misali \u00e7\u00f6z\u00fcyorum. Ayd\u0131nlanamayan havaya inat, yollar\u0131 bisiklet lambalar\u0131 ayd\u0131nlat\u0131yor. H\u00e2s\u0131l\u0131 kimse do\u011facak g\u00fcne\u015fin keyfini beklemiyor. Sabah ayaz\u0131ndan dolay\u0131 derim \u00e7atlamas\u0131n diye ellerime y\u00fcn eldivenlerimi ge\u00e7iriveriyorum. Bisikletime atlay\u0131p bir sa\u011f pedal\u0131, bir sol pedal\u0131 h\u0131zla \u00e7eviriyorum. Yola hen\u00fcz \u00e7\u0131km\u0131\u015fken \u0131\u015f\u0131klara tak\u0131l\u0131p kal\u0131yorum. F\u0131rsattan istifade, kulakl\u0131\u011f\u0131m yard\u0131m\u0131ma ko\u015fuyor. I\u015f\u0131klar ye\u015file d\u00f6nerken, ben de \u00e7i\u00e7e\u011fimin sesini i\u015fitiyorum.
\nBisikletimin tekerleklerine nispet, d\u00fcnya olanca h\u0131z\u0131yla d\u00f6n\u00fcyor. T\u00fcm bu ke\u015fkeme\u015fin i\u00e7inde kendimi, \u2018\u2018Piedra Irma\u011f\u0131\u2019n\u0131n k\u0131y\u0131s\u0131nda oturup a\u011flayan Pilar\u2019\u2019 gibi hissediyorum. T\u0131pk\u0131 o kadim efsanedeki gibi; nehrin suyuna d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcp ta\u015fla\u015fan ku\u015flara, b\u00f6ceklere ve sevgiliye verilmek \u00fczere yaz\u0131l\u0131p asla verilmeyen ve nehre at\u0131lan mektuplar\u0131n aras\u0131nda oldu\u011fumu hissediyorum. Etraf\u0131mdaki her \u015fey bir sebeple Piedra Irma\u011f\u0131\u2019na d\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015f de ta\u015fla\u015fm\u0131\u015f gibi. Giden ara\u00e7lar, ko\u015fan \u00e7ocuklar, yerde yuvarlanan kurumu\u015f bir tek dal… Evrende hacmi olan her \u015feyin ruhu varsa, ben de \u00e7\u00f6lde su arayan bedevi misali; k\u00f6r, sa\u011f\u0131r ve dilsiz ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131m bu uzaklarda ya\u015fam emaresi ar\u0131yorum. Yol kenar\u0131nda \u00e7i\u00e7ek satan Asyal\u0131 kad\u0131n\u0131n yan\u0131ndan ge\u00e7erken, tan\u0131d\u0131k bir koku duyuyorum. \u00c7i\u00e7e\u011fi burnunda, nazl\u0131 s\u00fcmb\u00fcl… T\u00fcm k\u00e2inat, sanki bir anda \u0130zmir gibi kokuyor. G\u00f6z\u00fcmden akan tek damla ya\u015f havan\u0131n ne denli so\u011fuk oldu\u011funu iliklerime kadar hissettiriyor. Pusulas\u0131 \u015fa\u015fm\u0131\u015f bir tanecik s\u00fcmb\u00fcl bana seni hat\u0131rlat\u0131yor.
\n\u201cCo\u011frafya kaderdir\u201d derdin. Peki, s\u00f6yle bana ey y\u00e2renim; \u201cBir daha hangi ana do\u011furur bizi?\u201d
\nYar\u0131nlar ayd\u0131nlans\u0131n diye \u0131\u015f\u0131k yakmak \u00fczere devam ediyorum pedal \u00e7evirmeye. \u0130\u015fte \u015fimdi, ger\u00e7ek d\u00fcnyan\u0131n kap\u0131s\u0131nday\u0131m. Bisikletimi demirleyip ayaklar\u0131m\u0131 yere bas\u0131yorum. Tan\u0131d\u0131\u011f\u0131m, tan\u0131mad\u0131\u011f\u0131m, yoldan ge\u00e7en t\u00fcm yabanc\u0131lara g\u00f6zlerimle selam veriyorum. Kurs binas\u0131n\u0131n g\u0131c\u0131rdayan demir kap\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 g\u00fc\u00e7 bela a\u00e7\u0131p i\u00e7eri giriyorum. S\u0131n\u0131fa do\u011fru y\u00fcr\u00fcrken, kulakl\u0131\u011f\u0131ma da veda vakti geliyor. \u00c7i\u00e7e\u011fim Mabel, kula\u011f\u0131ma son s\u00f6zlerini f\u0131s\u0131ld\u0131yor. Ben de ona ba\u011f\u0131ra ba\u011f\u0131ra e\u015flik ediyorum;
\n\u201cKald\u0131r kafan\u0131 bak; kimler can \u00e7eki\u015fiyor cennette
\nKim \u00e7oktan \u00f6lm\u00fc\u015f, kim diri kendi cehenneminde
\nSustur b\u00fct\u00fcn yerli yersiz havlayan k\u00f6pekleri i\u00e7inde
\nBu karanl\u0131k sokaklar yaln\u0131z onlar\u0131n de\u011fil.\u201d<\/p>\n
Binada yank\u0131lanan sesimi yan\u0131ma al\u0131yorum. Bir daha o eski ayd\u0131nl\u0131\u011fa d\u00f6nemeyecek olman\u0131n verdi\u011fi umutsuzlukla, sessiz d\u00fcnyan\u0131n kap\u0131s\u0131ndan \u00fcmitle giriyorum…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Senin olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n neresi varsa, yurt diyorlar…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":9461,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[67],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9442"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=9442"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9442\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=9442"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=9442"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=9442"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}