– Alo!<\/p>\n
– Alooooovv!<\/p>\n
– Alo!<\/p>\n
– Aloooooovv\u015f\u015f!<\/p>\n
\u00ad\u00ad- Alo! Beyefendi merhaba, ben ilan i\u00e7in aram\u0131\u015ft\u0131m.<\/p>\n
– Yanl\u0131\u015f aram\u0131\u015fs\u0131n garda\u015f, ilan b\u00fcrosu de\u011fil bura.<\/p>\n
– Sat\u0131l\u0131k araba ilan\u0131 sizin de\u011fil mi?<\/p>\n
– Ha \u00f6yle desene garda\u015f\u0131m, ilan milan deyince \u015fa\u015f\u0131rd\u0131m. Bir ayd\u0131r var o ilan, ilk arayan siz oldunuz.<\/p>\n
– Sat\u0131l\u0131k araba ile ilgili aram\u0131\u015ft\u0131m. Biraz bilgi verir misiniz?<\/p>\n
– Valla atalar\u0131m\u0131zdan kalan bir araba var. Bak araba benim diye demiyorum. Hi\u00e7 boya yok arabada.<\/p>\n
– O derece temiz yani?<\/p>\n
– He \u00e7ok temiz, \u00e7izik boya yok(!) Boya falan kalmam\u0131\u015f arabada. En son \u0130n\u00f6n\u00fc zaman\u0131nda \u00e7al\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u015f,\u00a0 bir daha kontak bile vurulmam\u0131\u015f.<\/p>\n
– Antika o zaman.<\/p>\n
– Do\u011fru konu\u015f hem\u015ferim, antika ne demek!<\/p>\n
– Eski, k\u0131ymetli manas\u0131nda beyefendi.<\/p>\n
– Ha, tabi en son babam\u0131n dedesi binmi\u015f rahmetli. Subaym\u0131\u015f. \u0130yi adamm\u0131\u015f valla.<\/p>\n
– Beyefendi dedenizi niye anlat\u0131yorsunuz ki, mevzuya gelelim l\u00fctfen.<\/p>\n
– Dedem de\u011fil garda\u015f, babam\u0131n dedesi. Benim dedem, babam\u0131n babas\u0131 oluyor. Yani babam\u0131n dedesi benim dedemin babas\u0131 oluyor. \u00a0Sen ne i\u015f yap\u0131yon ki garda\u015f?<\/p>\n
– \u00d6\u011fretmenim beyefendi.<\/p>\n
– E nas\u0131l bilmiyon bunlar\u0131,\u00a0 \u00e7ocuklara ne \u00f6\u011fretiyorsunuz? (\u015eap\u0131rt, \u015fupurt, \u015fapurt, \u015fupurt)<\/p>\n
– Beyefendi, siz bir \u015fey mi yiyorsunuz?<\/p>\n
– He, garda\u015f. Bizim han\u0131m kalburabasm\u0131\u015f.<\/p>\n
– Ge\u00e7mi\u015f olsun,\u00a0 kalbura bir \u015fey olmu\u015f mu?<\/p>\n
– Yav, sen hoca oldu\u011funa emin misin Hoca? Kalburabast\u0131 bizim y\u00f6rede bir tatl\u0131, bizim han\u0131m \u00e7ok g\u00fczel yapar. Hoca bizim han\u0131m benim e\u015fim oluyor yani. (Muhahhaa, muhahhaa, muhahaha) Hoca, sen akrabal\u0131klar\u0131 kar\u0131\u015ft\u0131r\u0131yorsun ya ona mahsuben g\u00fcld\u00fcm he, kusura bakma. \u00a0Benim g\u00fcl\u00fc\u015f\u00fcm\u00fc rahmetli Erol Ta\u015f’\u0131n g\u00fcl\u00fc\u015f\u00fcne benzetirler garda\u015f! (Muuhahahaa…)<\/p>\n
– Kim benzetiyor beyefendi?<\/p>\n
– Gahveden arkada\u015flar,\u00a0 Bakkal H\u00fcsn\u00fc olsun,\u00a0 Berber Aynal\u0131 Salih, F\u0131r\u0131nc\u0131 M\u00fcsl\u00fcm…<\/p>\n
– Beyefendi yahu, bana ne Erol Ta\u015f’tan, F\u0131r\u0131nc\u0131 M\u00fcsl\u00fcm’den… Mevzuya gelelim art\u0131k l\u00fctfen.<\/p>\n
– Dedemi mi anlatay\u0131m, orada m\u0131 kalm\u0131\u015ft\u0131k? (\u015eap\u0131rt, \u015fupurt) Valla \u00e7ok g\u00fczel olmu\u015f garda\u015f bu kalburabast\u0131. Bana bak garda\u015f can\u0131n \u00e7ektiyse gel daha var, tepsiyle yapm\u0131\u015f han\u0131m. Han\u0131m dediysem hoca kar\u0131\u015ft\u0131rma ha,\u00a0 benim zevcem. (Muhahahaaaaa…)<\/p>\n
– Beyefendi rica edece\u011fim art\u0131k \u015fu ilana gelelim mi?<\/p>\n
– Gelelim garda\u015f.<\/p>\n
– Evet!<\/p>\n
– Evet!<\/p>\n
– Eee?<\/p>\n
– Eeeeee?<\/p>\n
– Beyefendi araba diyorum?<\/p>\n
– Babam\u0131n dedesinden kalan m\u0131?<\/p>\n
– Ba\u015fka araban\u0131z var m\u0131?<\/p>\n
– Yok garda\u015f, ne gezer, Kalburabast\u0131 var bir tepsi.<\/p>\n
– Beyefendi ba\u015fka araba yoksa, olan\u0131 anlat\u0131n(!)<\/p>\n
– Garda\u015f \u00e7ok gerginsin yav, bir \u015faka edelim dedik.<\/p>\n
– Buyrun dinliyorum!<\/p>\n
– Garda\u015f, (\u015eap\u0131rt, \u015fupurt…) Araba 1950 model eski bir \u015eevrole.<\/p>\n
– \u00c7al\u0131\u015f\u0131yor mu peki?<\/p>\n
– Hakaret kabul ederim garda\u015f, yerinden hi\u00e7 k\u0131p\u0131rdatmad\u0131k ama \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131yordur herhalde(?) (\u015eapurt, \u015fupurt…) yani kesin eminim, in\u015fallah san\u0131r\u0131m(!)<\/p>\n
– Beyefendi araba y\u00fcr\u00fcr durumda m\u0131?<\/p>\n
– Araba y\u00fcr\u00fcr m\u00fc hi\u00e7 garda\u015f? (Muhahahhaa…) Yok ko\u015fuyor, takla att\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6renler de var! (Muhahhaaa!..)<\/p>\n
– Beyefendi sat\u0131c\u0131 de\u011filseniz kapatal\u0131m m\u0131?<\/p>\n
– Yav Hoca iki \u015faka yapt\u0131rmad\u0131n, bo\u011faz\u0131ma dizildi kalburabast\u0131. (\u015eap\u0131rt, \u015fupurt…)<\/p>\n
– Buyurun devam edin, l\u00fctfen?<\/p>\n
– Hoca araba 5 vitesli. Debriyajda sorun vard\u0131, s\u00f6k\u00fcp \u00e7\u0131kard\u0131m. Vites \u00e7ubu\u011fu k\u0131r\u0131lm\u0131\u015ft\u0131 att\u0131m. Onun d\u0131\u015f\u0131nda egzozu da k\u0131r\u0131lm\u0131\u015ft\u0131, att\u0131k.<\/p>\n
– Beyefendi egzoz yok, debriyaj yok, nas\u0131l \u00e7al\u0131\u015facak bu ara\u00e7?<\/p>\n
– Hoca, e\u015fek de\u011filiz herhalde bir \u00e7\u00f6z\u00fcm bulduk. Egzoza bir hortum takt\u0131m oradan da tepeye bir soba borusu ile ba\u011flad\u0131k, egzoz duman\u0131 \u00fcstten soba borusundan \u00e7\u0131k\u0131yor.<\/p>\n
– Peki vitese nas\u0131l ge\u00e7iyor Beyefendi, debriyaja \u00e7\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fcn\u00fcz\u00fc merak ettim?<\/p>\n
– Debriyaj balatas\u0131n\u0131 da cam sileceklere ba\u011flad\u0131k. Silecekleri birinci kademeye getirince birinci vites, ikinci kademe ikinci vites, \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcnc\u00fc kademe de \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcnc\u00fc vites. D\u00f6rt ve be\u015f yok. \u00dc\u00e7 vitesi \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131yor!<\/p>\n
– Beyefendi olur mu \u00f6yle \u015fey, sileceklerden vites mi olur?<\/p>\n
– Olur garda\u015f, niye olmas\u0131n, \u00f6yle bir kaide mi var yani?<\/p>\n
– Peki ara\u00e7 i\u00e7in ne kadar istiyorsunuz?<\/p>\n
– Hoca seni sevdim, ger\u00e7i espriden ve akrabal\u0131k ili\u015fkilerinden anlam\u0131yorsun ama (Muhahhaa!..) 30 kilo patates ve 30 kilo so\u011fana b\u0131rak\u0131r\u0131m sana.<\/p>\n
– Nas\u0131l yani?<\/p>\n
– Patates ve so\u011fanlar\u0131 getir konta\u011f\u0131 al g\u00f6t\u00fcr, hayr\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6r. (\u015eap\u0131rt \u015fupurt…) Oh \u00e7ok g\u00fczel olmu\u015f bu kalburabast\u0131 Hoca, bitmeden gel bak!<\/p>\n
– Beyefendi patates so\u011fanla araba m\u0131 sat\u0131l\u0131r?<\/p>\n
– Hoca patates so\u011fan diye ge\u00e7me, her yeme\u011fe laz\u0131m nimetler.<\/p>\n
– Oldu beyefendi te\u015fekk\u00fcr ederim. Ben vazge\u00e7tim sa\u011f olun.<\/p>\n
– Garda\u015f bak emmio\u011flum 25 kilo patates ve 25 kilo so\u011fan teklif etti vermedim. Emmio\u011flu dedi\u011fim, babam\u0131n karde\u015finin o\u011flu oluyor Hoca. (Muhahhaa, muhahhaa!..)<\/p>\n
– Beyefendi!<\/p>\n
– Efendim garda\u015f?<\/p>\n
– Sizin han\u0131m helva da yapabiliyor mu?<\/p>\n
– He vallah Hoca, bir f\u0131st\u0131kl\u0131 helva yapar parmaklar\u0131n\u0131 yersin. Niye sordun?<\/p>\n
– Umar\u0131m en k\u0131sa s\u00fcrede helvan\u0131z\u0131 yapar da yeriz in\u015fallah!<\/p>\n
– Hoca patatesten helva olur mu ki?<\/p>\n
– Olur olur…<\/p>\n
– (\u015eap\u0131rt \u015fupurt…) Hoca tarifini g\u00f6nder de bizim han\u0131m yaps\u0131n garda\u015f, can\u0131m helva \u00e7ekti vallah! (\u015eap\u0131rt \u015fupurt…)<\/p>\n
– Allah m\u00fcstehak\u0131n\u0131 versin e mi, t\u00fcnele girdim \u00e7ekmiyor(!) Alo… Alo…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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