Birka\u00e7 s\u00f6yle\u015fi i\u00e7in \u0130stanbul’day\u0131m. Yo\u011fun bir g\u00fcn\u00fcn sonunda taksiye binmek yerine tramvay\u0131 kullanmak istedim. Toplu ta\u015f\u0131ma ara\u00e7lar\u0131nda insanlar\u0131 g\u00f6zlemlerseniz bir\u00e7ok hik\u00e2ye yazabilirsiniz ve ismini de \u201cVay Vay Tramvay\u201d hik\u00e2yeleri koyabilirsiniz kitab\u0131n\u0131z\u0131n mesela. Konu bulmakta s\u0131k\u0131nt\u0131 \u00e7eken yurdum \u015fairleri de g\u00fczel \u015fiirler kotarabilirler elbette.<\/p>\n
(Bu fikir benim bak\u0131n, bug\u00fcn yar\u0131n biri tramvayda ge\u00e7en olaylar ile ilgili bir kitap yazarsa plakas\u0131n\u0131 al\u0131n birlikte gidip telif alal\u0131m…)<\/p>\n
Efendim tramvayda gayet huzur i\u00e7inde t\u0131k\u0131\u015f yap\u0131\u015f ilerliyoruz.<\/p>\n
Birinin kolu a\u011fz\u0131ma girerken di\u011ferinin dirse\u011fi b\u00f6\u011fr\u00fcme b\u00f6\u011fr\u00fcme sokuluyor. \u00d6ndeki ablan\u0131n sa\u00e7\u0131 y\u00fcz\u00fcm\u00fc kapatm\u0131\u015f, sa\u011fdaki amca her kibar erkek gibi ayda bir banyo yap\u0131yor san\u0131r\u0131m! Koltukalt\u0131nda besledi\u011fi hayvan muhtemelen birka\u00e7 ay \u00f6nce \u00f6ld\u00fc ve amca evcil hayvan\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7ok sevdi\u011fi i\u00e7in g\u00f6mmedi, \u015fu anda da koltukalt\u0131nda sevdi\u011fi hayvan\u0131n\u0131n le\u015fini burnuma do\u011fru tutarak onun aziz hat\u0131ras\u0131na beni \u00f6ld\u00fcrmeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131yor, ya da koltuk alt\u0131nda kimyasal bir silah \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmas\u0131 da yap\u0131yor olabilir… Her hal\u00fck\u00e2rda \u00f6l\u00fcmc\u00fcl bir \u00e7al\u0131\u015fma y\u00fcr\u00fct\u00fcld\u00fc\u011f\u00fc ortada.<\/p>\n
Bu \u015fekilde huzurla ilerlerken bir durakta Suriyeli birka\u00e7 karde\u015fimiz toplu ta\u015f\u0131ma k\u00fclt\u00fcr\u00fcn\u00fcn \u0131rz\u0131na ge\u00e7erek ba\u011f\u0131ra \u00e7a\u011f\u0131ra, kahkahal\u0131 b\u00f6\u011f\u00fcrmeli bir \u015fekilde birbirlerine Arap\u00e7a espriler yapa yapa tramvaya bindi. Takribi birka\u00e7 dakika bu bol g\u00fcr\u00fclt\u00fcl\u00fc kahkahal\u0131 arkada\u015flar\u0131 dinlemek zorunda kald\u0131k ve nih\u00e2yet di\u011fer yolcular homurdanmaya ba\u015flad\u0131.<\/p>\n
Korktu\u011fum ba\u015f\u0131ma geldi. Arkadan bir kad\u0131n ortaya kar\u0131\u015f\u0131k \u201cBiraz sessiz olur musunuz, sizin d\u0131\u015f\u0131n\u0131zda da insanlar var burada<\/em>\u201d deyip \u00e7emkirdi. Yan\u0131mda kimyasal \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmalar\u0131 koltukalt\u0131nda laboratuvar ortam\u0131nda y\u00fcr\u00fcten amca da topa girdi: \u201cYahu emmi sen rahats\u0131z olmad\u0131n m\u0131 \u011fan\u0131mefendiyi kar\u0131\u015ft\u0131r\u0131yorsun? Bu arada ba\u015f\u0131n sa\u011f olsun \u00f6lm\u00fc\u015f galiba?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYav biye niye ba\u011f\u0131risen aha bunlara k\u0131z, hem sa\u011f ol da neden ba\u015f\u0131n sa\u011f olsun dedin ki?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cEmmi koltukalt\u0131nda besledi\u011fin havyan \u00f6leli \u00e7ok olmu\u015f, onu g\u00f6m art\u0131k, bak bize de yaz\u0131k hayvana da yaz\u0131k!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYav ne diyisen aha bunlara s\u00f6yle vallah ben seni anlamirem.\u201d<\/p>\n Bu arada, g\u00fcr\u00fclt\u00fc yapan Suriyeli karde\u015flerimiz i\u015fin c\u0131lk\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7\u0131kartt\u0131 iyice, \u0130ngilizce konu\u015fmaya ba\u015flad\u0131lar. Arap aksanl\u0131 \u0130ngilizceyi anlamak m\u00fcmk\u00fcn de\u011fil! Ve liseli arkada\u015f, milletin homurtular\u0131n\u0131n da verdi\u011fi gazla bana d\u00f6n\u00fcp dedi ki abi bak nas\u0131l susturaca\u011f\u0131m!<\/p>\n Ve o g\u00fcr\u00fclt\u00fc \u00e7etesine d\u00f6n\u00fcp dedi ki:<\/p>\n \u201cShut up!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHaf\u0131z ne yapt\u0131n!?\u201d demeye kalmadan g\u00fcr\u00fclt\u00fc \u00e7etesinden biri bu \u00e7ocu\u011fun \u00fcst\u00fcne y\u00fcr\u00fcmeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131, ben araya girip sakinle\u015ftirmeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131m.<\/p>\n \u201cG\u00fczel karde\u015fim sakin olun, bak\u0131n toplu ta\u015f\u0131maday\u0131z birbirimize sayg\u0131l\u0131 olmal\u0131y\u0131z. Biz sizi karde\u015fimiz olarak g\u00f6r\u00fcyoruz, siz bakmay\u0131n bu \u00e7ocuk da art niyetli de\u011fil sadece daha d\u00fc\u015f\u00fck bir sesle konu\u015fun demeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131, \u0130ngilizcesi biraz zay\u0131f, biraz dedi\u011fime bakmay\u0131n baya\u011f\u0131 zay\u0131f. Onun su\u00e7u da yok, muhtemelen \u0130ngilizce \u00f6\u011fretmeni k\u00f6t\u00fcyd\u00fc, bu \u00e7ocu\u011fa \u201ckapa \u00e7eneni\u201d demeyi; daha sessiz olun, al\u00e7ak sesle konu\u015fun diye anlatt\u0131…<\/p>\n Anlayaca\u011f\u0131n sorun daha b\u00fcy\u00fck, e\u011fitim sistemi geyi\u011fine hi\u00e7 girmeyeyim bile. \u0130yisi mi siz bu geri zek\u00e2l\u0131y\u0131 d\u00f6vmeyin, sessiz konu\u015fun acc\u0131k… \u015eu amca ile ilk durakta inip koltuk alt\u0131nda \u00f6lm\u00fc\u015f hayvan\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6mer, cenaze sonras\u0131 taziyelerimizi sunar, da\u011f\u0131l\u0131r\u0131z!\u201d<\/p>\n G\u00fcr\u00fclt\u00fc \u00e7etesinin liderini etkim alt\u0131na ald\u0131m, sakinle\u015ftirdim derken yan\u0131mdaki liseli oradan atlay\u0131p konu\u015ftu:<\/p>\n – Yok abi benim \u0130ngilizcem \u00e7ok iyidir, dediklerine kat\u0131lm\u0131yorum!<\/p>\n – Evlad\u0131m sus bi, burada seni d\u00f6vd\u00fcrmemek i\u00e7in b\u00fcy\u00fck bir konferans verdim. T\u00fcrkiye-Suriye ili\u015fkilerini masaya yat\u0131rd\u0131m. Sen ille \u201cd\u00f6vd\u00fcrece\u011fim kendimi, buna ihtiyac\u0131m var\u201d diyorsan ben m\u00fcz\u00e2kerelerden \u00e7ekileyim, masadan kalkay\u0131m ne dersin?<\/p>\n – Abi T\u00fcrk\u00e7e konu\u015fuyorsun ama hi\u00e7bir \u015fey anlam\u0131yorum, demek ki \u0130ngilizcem \u00e7ok iyi!<\/p>\n Yandaki emmi gaz\u0131 veriyor: \u00a0\u201cEngelezce konu\u015f da g\u00f6rs\u00fcnler bizim gen\u00e7leri, hadi o\u011fl\u0131m\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYahu amca senin taziyen var, sen sus bari. Vallahi aradan \u00e7ekilirim g\u00f6r\u00fcrs\u00fcn sen uluslararas\u0131 ili\u015fkilerin nas\u0131l \u00e7abucak bozuldu\u011funu!\u201d<\/p>\n Suriyeli g\u00fcrb\u00fcz \u00e7ete lideri \u201cAbi senin hat\u0131r\u0131na susuyorum \u015fu geri zek\u00e2l\u0131ya s\u00f6yle adam gibi konu\u015fsun.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cTamam g\u00fczel karde\u015fim merak etme, ilk durakta iner, ben onu bir \u0130ngilizce kursuna sokar\u0131m zorla, merak etme.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cTamam abi.\u201d<\/p>\n Arkadan bir teyze bana d\u00f6n\u00fcp dedi ki:<\/p>\n – Arap\u00e7a konu\u015fup kavgay\u0131 \u00f6nledin, aferin o\u011flum vallahi \u00fclkenin senin gibi gen\u00e7lere ihtiyac\u0131 var!<\/p>\n – Arap\u00e7a konu\u015fmad\u0131m teyze, T\u00fcrk\u00e7e konu\u015ftum.<\/p>\n – Ben bilmem, \u00f6yle m\u00fcz\u00e2kere falan deyince… Zaten gerisini de anlamad\u0131m, sen olmasan bu \u00e7ocu\u011fu d\u00f6veceklerdi.<\/p>\n \u00c7ocuk kula\u011f\u0131ma e\u011filip, \u201cAbi ben Anadolu Lisesi mezunuyum \u0130ngilizceme laf ettirmem\u201d …<\/p>\n \u201cEvlad\u0131m kendini d\u00f6vd\u00fcrmeden Allah i\u00e7in shut up!\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Birka\u00e7 s\u00f6yle\u015fi i\u00e7in \u0130stanbul’day\u0131m. Yo\u011fun bir…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":167,"featured_media":9137,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[69,53],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9136"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/167"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=9136"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9136\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=9136"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=9136"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=9136"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\n\u201cHe o\u011fl\u0131m biraz sessiz ol\u0131n, bah \u011fan\u0131mefendi ra\u011fats\u0131z old\u0131<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n
\nSol yan\u0131mda s\u0131rt \u00e7antal\u0131 bir lise talebesi var; onlar\u0131 p\u00fcr dikkat dinliyor, belli ki benim gibi g\u00fc\u00e7l\u00fc \u0130ngilizcesini pratikle\u015ftirmeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131yor!<\/p>\n