Yenge\u00e7 gibi yap\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u015f akl\u0131ma, ka\u00e7 zamand\u0131r yazaca\u011f\u0131m, bir t\u00fcrl\u00fc yazam\u0131yorum. Akl\u0131m ikiye b\u00f6l\u00fcnm\u00fc\u015f sanki; sol yar\u0131s\u0131nda \u201cBeyo\u011flu b\u0131\u00e7k\u0131n\u0131\u201d bir foto\u011fraf\u00e7\u0131, sa\u011f yar\u0131s\u0131nda \u0130spanyol Dali\u2019si bir ressam. Akl\u0131mdan ge\u00e7en foto\u011fraflar, tablolar, f\u0131r\u00e7alar, resimler\u2026 Bir t\u00fcrl\u00fc kelimelere, c\u00fcmlelere d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015f\u00fcp d\u00fc\u015fm\u00fcyor kalemimden. Yar\u0131s\u0131 yaz, yar\u0131s\u0131 k\u0131\u015f, kas\u0131m gibiyim. Bir an \u0131s\u0131n\u0131p ter i\u00e7inde kal\u0131yor, bir an \u00fc\u015f\u00fcy\u00fcp buz kesiyorum. Ne zaman kalemi elime alsam kas\u0131l\u0131p kal\u0131yorum. Yazsam, kendi kendime kallavi bir \u201cOooh!\u201d \u00e7ekip rahatlayaca\u011f\u0131m. Ama yapam\u0131yorum.
\nUzun y\u00fcr\u00fcy\u00fc\u015flere \u00e7\u0131k\u0131yor, ara sokaklardan, kalabal\u0131k caddelerden ge\u00e7iyor, kahvehane \u00f6nlerinde, parklarda oturuyorum. Hep mi h\u0131r\u00e7\u0131n, haylaz \u00e7ocuklar \u00e7\u0131kar kar\u015f\u0131ma, hep mi aksi ihtiyarlar!? Sinirleniyorum. \u201cBu \u00e7ocuklardan adam olmaz\u201d diye ge\u00e7iriyorum i\u00e7imden. \u201cBunlar b\u00fcy\u00fcy\u00fcnce olsa olsa \u015fu kahve k\u00f6\u015fesinde ak\u015fama kadar pinekleyen i\u015fe yaramaz, aksi ihtiyarlar olurlar.\u201d
\nTam o an hi\u00e7 olmayan bir el \u00e7eki\u015ftiriyor ceketimden. Hi\u00e7 olmayan bir ayak \u00e7elme tak\u0131yor, hi\u00e7 olmayan h\u0131r\u0131lt\u0131l\u0131 bir ses, okkal\u0131 bir k\u00fcf\u00fcr savuruyor:
\n\u201cBen de \u00e7ocukken haylaz\u0131n tekiydim ulan!\u201d diyor. \u201c\u00dc\u00e7 kere s\u0131n\u0131fta kald\u0131m. Zaten bana sorarsan, s\u0131n\u0131fta kalmayan herif adam olamaz! \u201c
\nTan\u0131yorum o sesi. Kim tan\u0131maz ki? B\u00fct\u00fcn \u0130stanbul onu tan\u0131r, o b\u00fct\u00fcn \u0130stanbul\u2019u\u2026 Ka\u00e7 g\u00fcnd\u00fcr akl\u0131m\u0131n i\u015fgalcisi, bir t\u00fcrl\u00fc yazamad\u0131\u011f\u0131m o huysuz, ihtiyar foto\u011fraf\u00e7\u0131. Ara G\u00fcler.
\nAkl\u0131mdan ge\u00e7enleri okumu\u015f sanki. Utan\u0131yorum. Sokaklarda serserilik yapmas\u0131n diye ortaokulun sonunda babas\u0131n\u0131n onu \u0130pek Film\u2019de i\u015fe koydu\u011funu hat\u0131rl\u0131yorum. Eskiden beri s\u00fcregelen \u00f6yle bir gelenek vard\u0131 o y\u0131llarda. Yaz tatillerinde bir i\u015fyerine \u00e7\u0131rak verilirdi on, on iki ya\u015f\u0131na de\u011fince \u00e7ocuklar. Mobilyac\u0131, terzi, bakkal\u2026 Ben de bir berber yan\u0131na \u00e7\u0131rak olmu\u015ftum ilkokul bitti\u011finde. Bakkal \u00e7\u0131raklar\u0131n\u0131n \u00e7ikolatalar, bisk\u00fcviler yediklerini hayal edi\u015fim, onlara imreni\u015fim h\u00e2l\u00e2 hat\u0131r\u0131mda.
\n\u201c\u00dc\u00e7 kere s\u0131n\u0131fta kalman\u0131 anl\u0131yorum abi ama son c\u00fcmlene i\u015fkilleniyorum\u201d diye m\u0131r\u0131ldan\u0131yorum.
\nD\u00fcnyan\u0131n en b\u00fcy\u00fck foto\u011fraf\u00e7\u0131lar\u0131 aras\u0131nda yer alan bu muzip, huysuz ihtiyar\u0131n hik\u00e2yesi bir film \u015feridi gibi ge\u00e7iyor hayalimden. \u0130\u00e7inde; \u00fcnl\u00fcler, siyasiler, sanat\u00e7\u0131lar, krallar ve s\u0131radan insanlar\u0131n \u015fiirlerini, \u00f6yk\u00fclerini saklayan foto\u011fraflar. \u0130stanbul\u2019un son 60-70 y\u0131l\u0131na tan\u0131kl\u0131k eden, bir kentin g\u00fczelliklerini zamanla nas\u0131l kaybetti\u011fi belgeleyen foto\u011fraflar.
\n\u201c\u015eimdiki \u0130stanbul, \u0130stanbul de\u011fil ki! Ad\u0131 \u0130stanbul\u201d diyor. \u201cBen \u0130stanbul\u2019un son g\u00fcnlerine \u015fahit olabildim. Sizse \u00f6l\u00fcs\u00fcn\u00fc g\u00f6r\u00fcyorsunuz!\u201d
\n\u201c?\u201d
\n\u201cEski \u0130stanbul? \u00c7ocuklu\u011fumun \u0130stanbul\u2019u\u2026 Merakl\u0131s\u0131 bulur bakar resimlerine, okur kitaplardan.\u201d
\nBeynimin sa\u011f yar\u0131s\u0131ndaki o tuhaf y\u00fczl\u00fc adam! Bu sesleri duyup da rahat durur mu? \u0130nce b\u0131y\u0131klar\u0131n\u0131 havaya dikip, g\u00fcm\u00fc\u015f bastonunu yerlere vuruyor:
\n\u201cDo\u011far do\u011fmaz tap\u0131n\u0131lan bir \u00f6l\u00fcn\u00fcn ayak izlerinden y\u00fcr\u00fcd\u00fcn\u00fcz m\u00fc hi\u00e7? Alt\u0131 ya\u015f\u0131nda menenjitten \u00f6len bir karde\u015fin yerine do\u011fdunuz mu? Sizi seven baban\u0131z\u0131n asl\u0131nda hep onu sevdi\u011fini hissettiniz mi? Bundan daha b\u00fcy\u00fck bir yaran\u0131z oldu mu hi\u00e7?\u201d
\nNe diyebilirim ki? Kalakal\u0131yorum! Evet. Anne babas\u0131n\u0131n Dali\u2019ye verdi\u011fi isim \u00f6lm\u00fc\u015f karde\u015finin ad\u0131: Salvador. Velazquez\u2019in \u2018\u00c7arm\u0131hta \u0130sa\u2019 resmiyle ayn\u0131 duvarda as\u0131l\u0131 karde\u015finin resmine ikizi kadar benzeyen Salvador Dali. On ya\u015f\u0131ndayken yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131 ilk otoportresine \u2018Hasta \u00e7ocuk\u2019 ad\u0131n\u0131 veren k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck despot!
\nAilesinin dikkatini \u00e7ekmek i\u00e7in numaralar yapan o \u00e7ocuk, Salvador\u2019u d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcyorum. Histeri krizlerini. Farkl\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 ifade iste\u011finin zamanla kal\u0131c\u0131 bir al\u0131\u015fkanl\u0131\u011fa d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015fmesini.
\n\u201cSen ona kulak asma!\u201d diyor bizim ihtiyar. \u201cHerif Dali de\u011fil Deli. Az u\u011fra\u015ft\u0131rmad\u0131 beni!\u201d
\nBen de mi delirmeye ba\u015fl\u0131yorum ne? Kafam\u0131n i\u00e7indeki sese \u201cNas\u0131l yani?\u201d diyorum. \u201cDeli mi ger\u00e7ekten?\u201d
\n\u201cYok yahu!\u201d diyor, \u201cAsl\u0131nda hepsi numara O\u2019nun yapt\u0131klar\u0131n\u0131n. Hem de Franko\u2019cu fa\u015fistin teki O!\u201d
\n\u201cNe var bunda?\u201d diye at\u0131l\u0131yor Dali. Belinden \u00e7ekti\u011fi k\u0131l\u0131c\u0131 sa\u011fa sola sallayarak; \u201cHer zaman anar\u015fist ve ayn\u0131 zamanda monar\u015fistim\u201d diyor. Elindeki k\u0131l\u0131c\u0131 tahta zemine dik bir \u015fekilde sapl\u0131yor. \u201cHer zaman burjuvaziye kar\u015f\u0131y\u0131m ve hala \u00f6yleyim. \u201d
\n\u0130nanmakta zorlan\u0131yorum. Ka\u015flar\u0131m kendili\u011finden havalan\u0131yor. Kafam\u0131n i\u00e7inde sesler, g\u00f6r\u00fcnt\u00fcler dola\u015f\u0131yor.
\n\u201c\u0130lk, Paris\u2019te, Meurice Otel\u2019de tan\u0131\u015ft\u0131m onunla\u201d diyor ihtiyar. \u201cOtelin s\u00fcit odas\u0131nda kal\u0131yor. Time Dergisinin muhabiriyim o s\u0131ra. R\u00f6portaj yapaca\u011f\u0131m. Kap\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7ald\u0131m, i\u00e7eri girdim. \u015e\u00f6yle on metre filan kar\u015f\u0131mda, elinde baston, birden bire burnumun dibinde bitti adam. Abart\u0131 de\u011fil, harbiden burun burunay\u0131z. \u00d6fkeli g\u00f6zlerle bana bak\u0131p \u2018Niye foto\u011fraf\u0131m\u0131 \u00e7ekmek istiyorsun?\u2019 dedi. \u2018Benden \u00fcnl\u00fcs\u00fcn de ondan!\u2019 dedim. \u201d
\n\u201cEee, sonra?\u201d
\n\u201cAdam ger\u00e7ek\u00fcst\u00fc \u015feylerin pe\u015finde hep, hi\u00e7 rahat durmaz; bir dakika i\u00e7in yirmi be\u015f bin dolar ister. Makineyle eskrim yapar. K\u00e2h yan\u0131m\u0131zdan bikini giymi\u015f bir kad\u0131n ge\u00e7er, k\u00e2h poz verir gibi bir koltu\u011fa uzan\u0131r. Etraf\u0131nda tufeyli adamlar, kime poz verir belli de\u011fil. Adam adeta \u2018S\u00fcrrealizm benim!\u2019 diyor. Bir t\u00fcrl\u00fc foto\u011fraf\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7ekemiyorum. Neyse bir ay sonunda \u2018Ya dosdo\u011fru \u00e7ekeriz foto\u011fraflar\u0131, ya da \u00e7eker giderim\u2019 dedim.\u201d
\n\u201cResti \u00e7ektin yani sonunda.\u201d
\n\u201cBen \u00f6yle deyince bir g\u00fcn sonraya tekrar randevu verdi. Gittim. Bu sefer de yan\u0131nda \u00fc\u00e7 Frans\u0131z gazeteci var. \u2018Bunlar\u0131n \u00f6n\u00fcnde \u00e7al\u0131\u015famam\u2019 dedim. Onlar\u0131 hemen g\u00f6nderece\u011fini s\u00f6yleyip ald\u0131 onlar\u0131 kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131na. \u2018Katran\u0131n (ziftin) kimyasal form\u00fcl\u00fcn\u00fc bilir misiniz?\u2019 dedi. Ulan nereden bilsin adamlar? Bakt\u0131 \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcnden de ses yok, kendi s\u00f6yledi form\u00fcl\u00fc. Kafadan H sekiz C on gibi bir \u015fey sallad\u0131 asl\u0131nda. Sonra adamlara, \u2018Bak\u0131n \u015fu bastonu bir kazan katran\u0131n i\u00e7ine soksam, o baston 25 bin dolar eder. Siz ayn\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 yapsan\u0131z size aptal derler! Anlad\u0131n\u0131z m\u0131? \u015eimdi gidin yaz\u0131n ne anlad\u0131ysan\u0131z.\u2019 deyip postalad\u0131 adamlar\u0131. \u0130\u015fte ben o g\u00fcn foto\u011fraflar\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7ektim Dali\u2019nin.\u201d
\nDali s\u00f6ze kar\u0131\u015fmadan durur mu?
\n\u201cSana o g\u00fcn imzalad\u0131\u011f\u0131m foto\u011fraf\u0131 satsan, o \u00e7ok sevdi\u011fin bo\u011fazda yal\u0131 al\u0131rs\u0131n!\u201d
\n\u201cHakl\u0131s\u0131n. Hem sadece senin imzal\u0131 foto\u011fraf\u0131n yok bende, Picasso da benim resmimi \u00e7izdi, imzalad\u0131. T\u00fcrkiye\u2019de bir tek imzal\u0131 Picasso resmi var, o da bende! \u0130steseydim o resim ile Fransa\u2019da \u015fato al\u0131rd\u0131m!\u201d
\n\u201c\u015eansl\u0131s\u0131n ihtiyar. D\u00fcnyada iki b\u00fcy\u00fck ressam var, biri Pablo, di\u011feri ben. Sen iki ismin de imzas\u0131na sahipsin. Ancak ben daha b\u00fcy\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm! Unutma bunu; \u0130yi bir ressam olman\u0131n sadece iki \u015fart\u0131 vard\u0131r, birincisi \u0130spanyol olmak, ikincisi ad\u0131n\u0131z\u0131n Salvador Dali olmas\u0131!\u201d
\nKafam kar\u0131\u015f\u0131yor. Biri ger\u00e7ek\u00fcst\u00fcn\u00fcn pe\u015finde bir ka\u00e7\u0131k, di\u011feri ger\u00e7e\u011fi zapt etmeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015fan bir huysuz ihtiyar. Kafam\u0131n i\u00e7imde konu\u015fup duruyorlar.
\nBeynimin sol yar\u0131s\u0131nda bo\u011faz k\u0131y\u0131s\u0131nda m\u00fc\u015fteri bekleyen sandalc\u0131lar\u0131n, ya\u011f iskelesinde y\u00fck ta\u015f\u0131yan hamallar\u0131n, seyyar sat\u0131c\u0131lar\u0131n, f\u0131r\u0131ndan yeni \u00e7\u0131km\u0131\u015f somunlar\u0131 kucaklayan \u00e7ocuklar\u0131n, kahve k\u00f6\u015felerinde \u00e7ene \u00e7alan aylaklar\u0131n foto\u011fraflar\u0131 canlan\u0131yor. Sa\u011f yar\u0131s\u0131nda; a\u011fustos g\u00fcne\u015finin alt\u0131nda peynir gibi eriyen bir saat, bir kafatas\u0131, at \u00fcst\u00fcnde bir iskelet, g\u00fclen bir \u00e7ocu\u011fun surat\u0131nda yans\u0131yan par\u00e7alanmaya haz\u0131r bir d\u00fcnya\u2026
\nBu arada \u00fczerine eski tip bir dalg\u0131\u00e7 k\u0131yafeti giymi\u015f, bir tuhaf adam ge\u00e7iyor sanki yan\u0131mdan. Bir elinde bilardo istekas\u0131, di\u011fer elinde tasmas\u0131n\u0131 tuttu\u011fu ve zor zapt etti\u011fi iki kurt k\u00f6pe\u011fi.
\nKafamdaki Dali\u2019ye \u201cAyn\u0131 sen\u201d diyorum. \u201cT\u0131pk\u0131 sana benziyor.\u201d
\n\u201cBir s\u00fcrrealistle aramdaki tek fark; benim s\u00fcrrealist olmamd\u0131r!\u201d diyor. \u201cBir deliyle ise; Deli akl\u0131n\u0131n yerinde oldu\u011funu san\u0131r, ben ise deli oldu\u011fumu biliyorum!\u201d
\nKafas\u0131n\u0131 iki yana sallarken g\u00f6zleri k\u0131p\u0131r k\u0131p\u0131r, anlamad\u0131\u011f\u0131m bir k\u00fcf\u00fcr m\u0131r\u0131ldan\u0131yor foto\u011fraf\u00e7\u0131 ihtiyar:
\n\u201cSen insanlar\u0131n g\u00f6remediklerini, hayalindekini \u00e7iziyorsun. Bense onlara ger\u00e7e\u011fi g\u00f6steriyorum. Foto\u011fraf yalan s\u00f6ylemez. Ben ger\u00e7e\u011fin \u015fahidiyim. \u0130nsan\u0131n. \u0130nsan olmazsa olmaz. \u0130nsan olmazsa hayat olmaz. Onun i\u00e7in benim foto\u011fraflar\u0131mda hep insan, insan sevgisi vard\u0131r. \u0130nsan, sevgisini kaybetmi\u015fse hi\u00e7bir \u015feyin \u00f6nemi yoktur!\u201d
\n\u0130lk kez g\u00f6zlerinin doldu\u011funa tan\u0131k oluyorum Dali\u2019nin. O biricik sevgilisi, e\u015fi Gala ge\u00e7iyor akl\u0131ndan, hissediyorum. \u201c\u0130nsan sevgisini kaybetmi\u015fse her \u015feyini kaybetmi\u015ftir\u201d dedi\u011fini bir ben duyuyorum.
\nBir sinema yang\u0131n\u0131nda en son kurtar\u0131lan \u00e7ocu\u011fun h\u0131nz\u0131r g\u00fcl\u00fc\u015f\u00fc duruyor beynimin sol yar\u0131s\u0131nda. Sa\u011f yar\u0131s\u0131nda ise \u00f6mr\u00fcn\u00fcn son deminde bir \u015fato yang\u0131n\u0131ndan canl\u0131 \u00e7\u0131kan deli dolu bir d\u00e2hinin o biricik duygulu c\u00fcmlesini:
\n\u201cGala\u2019n\u0131n ac\u0131s\u0131ndan (-ki benim ac\u0131md\u0131r), Gala\u2019n\u0131n \u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fcnden (-ki benim \u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fcmd\u00fcr) ba\u015fka hi\u00e7bir \u015fey hayat\u0131ma dokunamaz.\u201d
\n\u201c\u015e\u00fcphesiz hepimiz ayn\u0131 sona yakalanaca\u011f\u0131z. Ve b\u00fct\u00fcn yang\u0131nlardan fareler gibi ka\u00e7aca\u011f\u0131z. B\u00fct\u00fcn bu ka\u00e7\u0131\u015flar, yak\u0131lmak i\u00e7in ideal bir f\u0131r\u0131n aramaktan ba\u015fka nedir ki?\u201d diye soran bu yabanc\u0131 sesi ben de tan\u0131m\u0131yorum.
\n\u201cHeyyy amca, atsana o topu!\u201d diye ba\u011f\u0131r\u0131yor yeni yetme bir \u00e7ocuk. Aya\u011f\u0131n\u0131n yan\u0131na kadar gelen topa bir tekme savuruyor yan\u0131mdan ge\u00e7en ihtiyar. Topu \u00e7ocuklar\u0131n tam aksi y\u00f6n\u00fcne g\u00f6nderiyor.
\n\u201cY\u00fcz vermemek laz\u0131m \u015fu veletlere, gidip ba\u015fka yerde oynas\u0131nlar\u201d diye s\u00f6yleniyor.
\nKafam\u0131n d\u0131\u015f\u0131ndan gelen bir ses duymak mutlu ediyor beni. Cep telefonum \u00e7al\u0131yor. A\u00e7\u0131yorum.
\n\u201cYar\u0131n dergiyi bask\u0131ya verece\u011fim\u201d diyor patron. \u201c\u0130ki saat i\u00e7inde yaz\u0131y\u0131 g\u00f6ndermezsen, daha da g\u00f6nderme!\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Yenge\u00e7 gibi yap\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u015f akl\u0131ma, ka\u00e7 zamand\u0131r…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":161,"featured_media":9109,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[53,55],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9085"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/161"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=9085"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9085\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=9085"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=9085"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=9085"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}