Beklemekten i\u00e7imde kocaman bir s\u0131k\u0131nt\u0131 yuma\u011f\u0131 olu\u015fmu\u015ftu. Ayr\u0131ca r\u00fczg\u00e2r burun deliklerimi \u015fi\u015firiyordu. Beynim \u00fc\u015f\u00fcyordu. \u0130leride camlar\u0131 buhar dolu bir kahve g\u00f6rd\u00fcm. Cebimdeki heyecanlanmay\u0131 \u00f6nleyen ilac\u0131 bo\u011faz\u0131ma at\u0131p mideme y\u00fcr\u00fctt\u00fcm. Ben de r\u00fczg\u00e2ra kar\u015f\u0131 koyarak kahveye y\u00fcr\u00fcd\u00fcm. \u0130\u00e7ime s\u0131cak bir \u015feyler i\u00e7er, gazete bakar\u0131m, benimki gelene kadar.
\nKahvenin kap\u0131s\u0131, \u015fu zor a\u00e7\u0131lan g\u00fclle kap\u0131lardand\u0131. Kol kaslar\u0131m y\u0131rt\u0131ld\u0131 ama a\u00e7t\u0131m. Starbucks’\u00e7\u0131 giyimimden i\u00e7erideki kahve halk\u0131 bana kar\u015f\u0131 kilitlendi. \u201cSelam\u00fcn Aleyk\u00fcm\u201d derim \u015fimdi, yumu\u015farlar. Dedim. Bu Selam\u00fcn Aleyk\u00fcm s\u00fcper bir \u015fey. \u0130nsan\u0131n akl\u0131n\u0131 al\u0131yor. 2 saniye sonra a\u00e7\u0131l\u0131p \u00f6nlerindeki k\u00e2\u011f\u0131tlara geri d\u00f6nd\u00fcler. Kahveci, bir ad\u0131m \u00f6ne \u00e7\u0131k\u0131p \u201cBuras\u0131 dernek gen\u00e7 karde\u015fim\u201d dedi.
\n\u201cK\u0131z arkada\u015f\u0131mla \u015fu meydanda bulu\u015fucam ama heyecandan yar\u0131m saat erken geldim ya\u015fl\u0131 karde\u015fim. 1 \u00e7ay i\u00e7ip kalk\u0131cam\u201d dedim.
\nCevap vermedi ama ben ge\u00e7tim ye\u015fil \u00f6rt\u00fcl\u00fc, 4 sigara delikli masaya oturdum. H\u00e2l\u00e2 ara ara \u201cYaz\u0131klar olsun sana, buraya ait de\u011filsin\u201d bak\u0131\u015f\u0131 atanlar vard\u0131. Onlara ikinci kez \u201cSelam\u00fcn Aleyk\u00fcm\u201d deyince \u00f6nlerine d\u00f6nd\u00fcler. El parmaklar\u0131m\u0131 \u0131s\u0131t\u0131p hareket ettirince giderim. Ayak parmaklar kals\u0131n.
\n\u00c7ay\u0131m, \u00fczerinde iki tane bulutuyla geldi. Onu kar\u0131\u015ft\u0131r\u0131rken kar\u015f\u0131 masadaki S\u00f6zc\u00fc’y\u00fc g\u00f6rd\u00fcm. Bi\u2019 bakay\u0131m yine vergilerimle kime Mercedes alm\u0131\u015f\u0131m. Kalkmadan barda\u011f\u0131mdan bir f\u0131rt al\u0131p a\u011fz\u0131m\u0131 yol boyunca oyalayacakt\u0131m ki… Ancak bir robot eli kadar a\u00e7\u0131labilen so\u011fuk parmaklar\u0131m barda\u011fa sar\u0131lamad\u0131 ve devirdi! Masadan yan\u0131yor gibi duman \u00e7\u0131k\u0131yor. Neyse, barda\u011f\u0131n dibinde kalan miktar\u0131 da sevdim. Onu korudum. K\u00e2fi. Bununla okurum gazetemi. Gazeteli masaya gelip elimi at\u0131nca, masadaki sigara duman\u0131 i\u00e7inde ya\u015fayan adam gazeteyi \u015f\u0131rt diye \u00e7ekti! D\u00fc\u015fman hareket alg\u0131land\u0131.
\n\u201cNap\u0131yorsun?\u201d dedim.
\n\u201cGazeteyle \u00e7\u0131kmaz o\u201d dedi, d\u00fc\u015fmanca hareketini sesine de y\u00fckleyerek.
\n\u201cBen gazeteyi okumak i\u00e7in al\u0131cam. G\u00fcnl\u00fck gazeteyle masa m\u0131 silinir day\u0131\u201d dedim.
\nMillet g\u00f6zlerini Emma Stone gibi yapm\u0131\u015f bize do\u011fru bak\u0131p duruyordu. Onlara bir \u201cSelam\u00fcn Aleyk\u00fcm\u201d yollad\u0131m. Yemedi. Adam\u0131n teki, \u201cNiye selam verip duruyosun karde\u015fim, dalga m\u0131 ge\u00e7iyosun\u201d dedi. Adam gazeteyi yava\u015f\u00e7a sald\u0131. Gazetemle masama geri d\u00f6nd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcmde dibinde kalm\u0131\u015f \u00e7ay\u0131m\u0131 bulamad\u0131m! Masa yemye\u015fil ve bombo\u015ftu. Ben halk\u0131n haber alma \u00f6zg\u00fcrl\u00fc\u011f\u00fc i\u00e7in m\u00fccadele ederken ocak\u00e7\u0131 alm\u0131\u015f olmal\u0131. Evet, yolda az \u00e7ayl\u0131 barda\u011f\u0131mla giderken g\u00f6rd\u00fcm onu!
\nSeslendim: \u201cBen bir \u00e7ay daha alabilir miyim?\u201d
\nSes seviyeme \u201c\u00e7ay\u0131 niye ald\u0131n lan\u201d alt metnini y\u00fckleyerek. Ocak\u00e7\u0131n\u0131n g\u00f6zlerini g\u00f6remiyordum, s\u0131rf kal\u0131n ka\u015flarla bakt\u0131\u011f\u0131 i\u00e7in. 35 ki\u015filik kahve heyetinin bana kar\u015f\u0131 bilendi\u011fini o an tamamen anlad\u0131m. Y\u00fcz\u00fcm\u00fcn derisini yukar\u0131dan a\u015fa\u011f\u0131 do\u011fru \u00e7eki\u015ftirip d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcm. Yeni \u00e7ay\u0131m geldi. \u015eu ba\u015f sayfay\u0131 okuyup gideyim. \u00d6lmek i\u00e7in normal bir ya\u015fta de\u011filim. \u00d6lmek i\u00e7in normal bir hava da yok \u015fimdi. Babam bile gelmez bu r\u00fczg\u00e2rda cenazeme. Yeni \u00e7ay\u0131m\u0131n bulutlar\u0131n\u0131 elimi gev\u015fetmek i\u00e7in kulland\u0131m. Bir f\u0131rt al\u0131p di\u015flerimi sarartt\u0131m. Boynu b\u00fck\u00fck gazeteyi silkeleyip kendine getirmek amac\u0131yla bir \u00e7\u0131rpt\u0131m ki… Elimin tersiyle barda\u011fa vurmu\u015fum! \u00c7aylar masan\u0131n u\u00e7urumundan yere do\u011fru \u015f\u0131pl\u0131yordu. Gazeteyi al\u0131p bir refleksle \u00e7aylar\u0131n \u00fcst\u00fcne bast\u0131m! Kafam\u0131 hafif\u00e7e kald\u0131rd\u0131\u011f\u0131mda burunlar\u0131ndan kaynayan ket\u0131l gibi duman \u00e7\u0131karan adamlar g\u00f6rd\u00fcm! Her bakt\u0131\u011f\u0131mda say\u0131lar\u0131 art\u0131yor. Her. T\u0131t t\u0131t, hayda, hoyda gibi efektler \u00e7\u0131kar\u0131yorlar.
\nUzay bo\u015flu\u011funa bakar gibi duvarlara att\u0131m bak\u0131\u015flar\u0131m\u0131. Toplu futbolcu foto\u011fraf\u0131 bile yok, nas\u0131l k\u00f6y derne\u011fi bu be. Nerde da\u011f resimleri? \u0130neklerimiz? K\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck esnaf kartviziti dolu o takvim? Elimi cebime at\u0131p bu sigara i\u00e7me ve i\u00e7meyenlerden bana ne derne\u011finden gitmeliyim. \u00d6yle de yapt\u0131m ama \u00e7\u0131kard\u0131\u011f\u0131m elime 200 TL geldi. \u0130lk kez 200 g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcme \u00fcz\u00fcld\u00fcm. Adamlar iyice buraya pisli\u011fine geldim sanacak. 2 \u00e7aya 200 TL vereni vururlar bunlar, mermi paras\u0131n\u0131 da senden al\u0131rlar! B\u0131rak zaten milletle o kadar kavga ettim ki 200’\u00fcn ger\u00e7ekli\u011fine dahi inanmazlar.
\nTelefonumu a\u00e7t\u0131m b\u00fct\u00fcn tu\u015flar\u0131na basarak. Benim k\u0131za, \u201cYan\u0131nda bozuk para var m\u0131?\u201d diye yazd\u0131m yollad\u0131m.
\n\u201cNee? Nerdesin sen, meydana geldim \u015fimdi\u201d dedi.
\n\u201cAz yukardaki kahvedeyim, gel. Bana 10 lira getir acil\u201d dedim.
\nBir s\u00fcre yan\u0131t gelmedi. Me\u011fer d\u00f6\u015feniyormu\u015f:
\n\u201cSen ne \u00f6k\u00fcz \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131n ya. Niyetin belli senin. Daha ilk bulu\u015fmada para m\u0131 istenir? Bak bi\u2019 k\u0131z\u0131n paras\u0131n\u0131 yiyiceksen illa, sana taktik vereyim ko\u00e7um: \u00d6nce yalandan bir \u015feyler \u0131smarla ki g\u00fcven kazanas\u0131n.\u201d
\n\u00d6n\u00fcmdeki gazete \u00e7ay\u0131 eme eme par\u00e7alanmaya ba\u015flam\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Vergilerimle sadece Mercedes almam\u0131\u015f\u0131m, bir dinciyi villada ya\u015fatt\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131 da \u00f6\u011frendim, \u0131slak, erimi\u015f bir haberden. Ocak\u00e7\u0131ya bakt\u0131m. Bari pahal\u0131 bir \u015feyler i\u00e7eyim de 200 s\u0131r\u0131tmas\u0131n diye d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcm. Ama etrafta bir tane Pepsi dolab\u0131 vard\u0131, onun i\u00e7i de Erikli doluydu. Pepsi bunu g\u00f6rmesin. Kullan\u0131lm\u0131\u015f hisseder.
\nOcak\u00e7\u0131ya, \u201cAbi ordan bir \u00e7ay daha, duble olsun, en pahal\u0131 olandan, kokuludan kokuludan. Ka\u00e7ak \u00e7aydan. Tomurcuk at\u201d dedim.
\nOcak\u00e7\u0131, k\u0131rm\u0131z\u0131 g\u00f6z damarlar\u0131yla bakt\u0131, \u201c1 tane i\u00e7ip kalkacakt\u0131n gen\u00e7 karde\u015fim\u201d dedi.
\nSes seviyesinde \u201cdefol git\u201d y\u00fckl\u00fcyd\u00fc. Kalkt\u0131m. Ama aya\u011fa. Etraftaki herkesi bir kere kestim.
\n\u201cKumar m\u0131 oynuyosunuz lan siz burda!?\u201d dedim.
\nElinde joker olanlar bile kartlar\u0131n\u0131 b\u0131rakt\u0131. Barda\u011f\u0131 al\u0131p S\u00f6zc\u00fc krizi ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131m adam\u0131n kafas\u0131na f\u0131rlatt\u0131m. Bardak kafada par\u00e7alanmad\u0131, sekip yerde b\u00f6l\u00fcnd\u00fc. Par\u00e7alar\u0131 ona, buna, \u015funa u\u00e7u\u015ftu.
\n\u201cHerkes \u00f6nce salak salak sigara i\u00e7meyi b\u0131raks\u0131n. Bu nas\u0131l bi\u2019 i\u00e7i\u015ftir lan her deli\u011finizden duman \u00e7\u0131k\u0131yo! S\u00f6nd\u00fcr, bakma s\u00f6nd\u00fcr! Sonra kimliklerinizi \u00e7\u0131kar\u0131p masaya koyun. Tabii size bir T.C. numaras\u0131 verdilerse.\u201d
\nS\u00f6ylediklerim yap\u0131l\u0131yordu. T\u0131ss t\u0131ss diye s\u00f6nd\u00fc k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck k\u0131rm\u0131z\u0131 \u0131\u015f\u0131klar. Ocak\u00e7\u0131 kahveden \u00e7\u0131kamayan duman emareleri ka\u00e7s\u0131n diye havaland\u0131rmay\u0131 a\u00e7t\u0131. Korkmu\u015ftu, bari siz ka\u00e7\u0131n gibi yapt\u0131.
\n\u201cAmirimi al\u0131p geliyorum. Nefes bile esmeyecek burda\u201d dedim.
\nKap\u0131 \u00e7ok a\u011f\u0131rd\u0131. Birden a\u00e7\u0131p \u00e7\u0131kmak en iyisi olurdu ama o hareketi yapamad\u0131m. Gazete krizi ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131m ve kafas\u0131na \u00e7ay barda\u011f\u0131 att\u0131\u011f\u0131m adam geldi.
\n\u201cYaylar\u0131 \u00e7ok sert, yar\u0131n de\u011fi\u015ftirece\u011fiz sivil memur bey\u201d diyerek bana kap\u0131n\u0131n takti\u011fini g\u00f6sterdi. Birlikte a\u00e7t\u0131k. G\u00fclmemek i\u00e7in adam\u0131n kafas\u0131na bakmad\u0131m.<\/p>\n
Ko\u015fa ko\u015fa meydana geldi\u011fimde benimki yoktu. R\u00fczg\u00e2r vard\u0131. G\u00fcne\u015f so\u011fuk so\u011fuk bat\u0131yordu. Ben de eczaneye gireyim dedim, \u015fu heyecan\u0131 yok eden ila\u00e7tan bir kutu daha alay\u0131m. \u0130yi geldi. K\u0131rm\u0131z\u0131 200’\u00fcm\u00fcn bozulmas\u0131n\u0131 sevin\u00e7le izleyeyim. Do\u011fru d\u00fczg\u00fcn bir yere gidip \u00e7ay\u0131m\u0131 ba\u015ftan sona i\u00e7eyim. Bu meydan\u0131, semti, kahveyi akl\u0131mda tutay\u0131m, bir daha hi\u00e7 gelmeyeyim.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Beklemekten i\u00e7imde kocaman bir s\u0131k\u0131nt\u0131 yuma\u011f\u0131…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":159,"featured_media":9099,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[67,53],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9081"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/159"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=9081"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9081\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=9081"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=9081"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=9081"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}