Bug\u00fcn yine yazdan kalma bir g\u00fcn ge\u00e7iriyoruz,\u00a0 g\u00fcne\u015f tepemizde \u0131\u015f\u0131l \u0131\u015f\u0131l, mart\u0131lar iskele u\u00e7lar\u0131nda bir o yana bir bu yana savruluyor. \u0130nsanlar a\u011f\u0131r a\u011f\u0131r, sindire sindire \u00e7\u0131k\u0131yor merdivenleri, yoku\u015flar\u0131 “Oh be can\u0131ma de\u011fsin” dercesine…<\/p>\n
Birden g\u00f6ky\u00fcz\u00fc karard\u0131, ku\u015flar hep birlikte kanat \u00e7\u0131rpt\u0131 yar\u0131nlara. \u0130\u00e7ime tarifi m\u00fcmk\u00fcn olmayan bir kasvet d\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc. Kurumu\u015f g\u00fcl bah\u00e7elerinde dola\u015fan bah\u00e7\u0131van gibiyim. Y\u00fcz\u00fcm mahkeme duvar\u0131, g\u00f6nl\u00fcm hep bir \u00e7\u0131kmaz sokak.<\/p>\n
Az \u00f6tede telefon kul\u00fcbesinin dibinde durmadan bir \u015feyler heceliyordu dudaklar\u0131. Bir hayli yak\u0131n\u0131m ama yan\u0131na gitmeye cesaret edemiyorum. Korkuyordum ayr\u0131l\u0131k yaftas\u0131 y\u00fck\u00fcm\u00fcz\u00fcn \u00fcst\u00fcne y\u00fck bindirir diye\u2026<\/p>\n
Bir yolculu\u011fa \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131m g\u00f6zlerim kapal\u0131, yan\u0131mda beni benden alan yaln\u0131zl\u0131\u011f\u0131m ve kederlerim.\u00a0 Anlayaca\u011f\u0131n arkamda iyi-k\u00f6t\u00fc hi\u00e7bir \u015fey b\u0131rakmak istemedim, yan\u0131ma ald\u0131m. Bir tek duygular\u0131m\u0131 hissedemiyorum, eksik kalm\u0131\u015f gibi, ne haldeler neredeler ondan emin de\u011fildim…<\/p>\n
Ayr\u0131l\u0131klar bo\u011fdu bizi umutsuz sokaklarda, \u015fehrin g\u00fcr\u00fclt\u00fcs\u00fcnde, vapur seslerinde, klaksonlarda…
\n\u00d6n\u00fcm arkam kapkaranl\u0131k, g\u00f6zlerim bir ad\u0131m \u00f6tesini g\u00f6rmekten aciz. B\u00fct\u00fcn bunlar\u0131n yan\u0131nda yaln\u0131zl\u0131k \u00e7\u0131\u011fl\u0131klar\u0131 kulaklar\u0131m\u0131n zar\u0131n\u0131 delecek diye korkuyorum. Hi\u00e7 b\u00f6yle olmam\u0131\u015ft\u0131m, b\u00f6yle olurum diye d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnmemi\u015ftim.<\/p>\n
Sen gidince
\nSusuz kald\u0131 manolyalar, nergisler.
\nSevginin g\u00fcc\u00fcne dayand\u0131 ser\u00e7eler, sakalar.
\nYenik d\u00fc\u015ft\u00fck mazilerde kaybolan y\u0131llara\u2026<\/p>\n
Sorgusuz sualsiz ayr\u0131l\u0131kla yaftaland\u0131k. Ne kadar zaman ge\u00e7erse ge\u00e7sin i\u00e7imde \u015fu soru hi\u00e7 eksilmedi: “Bu kahrolas\u0131 ayr\u0131l\u0131k nas\u0131l geldi birden semtimize?\u00a0Ger\u00e7ekten kimsenin haberi yok muydu?\u00a0 Herkes o kadar iyi mi b\u00fcr\u00fcnm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc\u00a0 samimiyet kisvesine?\u00a0Yoksa g\u00f6zlerim mi g\u00f6rm\u00fcyordu olaylar\u0131n perde arkas\u0131n\u0131? ”
\nKafamda deli sorular \u00e7\u0131\u011f gibi b\u00fcy\u00fcyordu…
\nEvet, bu ayr\u0131l\u0131k denen illet bizi biz yapan ne varsa ald\u0131 g\u00f6t\u00fcrd\u00fc. Pi\u015fman olmayal\u0131m diye, korkmayal\u0131m diye vazge\u00e7tik, vazge\u00e7mek zorunda kald\u0131k t\u00fcm isteklerimizden.<\/p>\n
Zakkum tohumu ekmi\u015fler ormanlar\u0131m\u0131za, gayr\u0131 mecalimiz kalmad\u0131 direnmeye. Sak\u0131n ge\u00e7meyin bulundu\u011funuz yerden bir ad\u0131m \u00f6teye, bilirim bu y\u00fck a\u011f\u0131r m\u0131 a\u011f\u0131r…<\/p>\n
Yar\u0131n mutluluklar sizindir, mutlak ayr\u0131l\u0131klar bizim…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Bug\u00fcn yine yazdan kalma bir g\u00fcn…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":123,"featured_media":8367,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[67,53],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8366"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/123"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=8366"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8366\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=8366"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=8366"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=8366"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}