Merhaba Sevgili Leo;
\nSana bu sat\u0131rlar\u0131 puslu bir \u0130stanbul sabah\u0131ndan yaz\u0131yorum. Hava so\u011fuk, yollar \u0131slak, \u015fehre bir h\u00fcz\u00fcn h\u00e2kim. \u0130\u00e7imde ismini koyamad\u0131\u011f\u0131m ve susturmay\u0131 beceremedi\u011fim \u0131zd\u0131rab\u0131n h\u00fcz\u00fcnl\u00fc sesi, y\u00fcz\u00fcmde g\u00fcl\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcn yans\u0131mas\u0131, ceplerimde sana hi\u00e7 itiraf edemedi\u011fim c\u00fcmleler ve kalbimde sana dair ince bir s\u0131z\u0131 var. Y\u00fcr\u00fcrken ya\u011fmura yakaland\u0131m bug\u00fcn, ya\u011fmurla kokuna ula\u015ft\u0131m sanki. Ad\u0131mlar\u0131m iyice a\u011f\u0131rla\u015ft\u0131 sesine ve kokuna ula\u015fma inanc\u0131 yerini umutsuzlu\u011fa b\u0131rak\u0131rken, beklemedi\u011fim bir anda seninle ilk kar\u015f\u0131la\u015fmam ve \u0131\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131nda kaybolmam gibi ans\u0131z\u0131n yakalay\u0131p beni tekrar alt \u00fcst edi\u015fini an\u0131msad\u0131m ve bu halde y\u00f6n\u00fcm\u00fc unutup yanl\u0131\u015f soka\u011fa girdim. Ca\u011falo\u011flu\u2019nda eski bir dergi ald\u0131m. D\u00f6n\u00fc\u015fte Japon bir turistle yan yana y\u00fcr\u00fcd\u00fcm, k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck bir \u00e7ocu\u011fun bu\u011fulu g\u00f6zlerine tak\u0131l\u0131p kald\u0131m sonra. Tad\u0131 g\u00fczel bir kahve i\u00e7tim, en sevdi\u011fim arkada\u015f\u0131m\u0131 aray\u0131p uzun uzun sohbet ettim ve hi\u00e7biri i\u00e7imde ya\u015fayan ve a\u011f\u0131rl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 tarif etmek i\u00e7in hangi \u00f6l\u00e7\u00fc birimini kullanmam gerekti\u011fini bilmedi\u011fim duygular\u0131m\u0131 bast\u0131rmaya yetmedi.<\/p>\n
B\u00fcy\u00fck bir bo\u015fluk i\u00e7ine d\u00fc\u015ft\u00fcm, yaral\u0131y\u0131m Leo\u2026 G\u00f6zya\u015flar\u0131m\u0131 durduram\u0131yorum, akl\u0131mda kurgulad\u0131\u011f\u0131m eylemi hayata ge\u00e7iremiyorum, terslikleri ve psikolojik de\u011fi\u015fimimi g\u00f6z ard\u0131 edip, biriktirdi\u011fim c\u00fcmlelerimi avu\u00e7lar\u0131na b\u0131rakmak i\u00e7in sana yeti\u015femiyorum. \u00c7aresizli\u011fim, sefaletim ve asaletim yan yana ve i\u00e7 i\u00e7e, akl\u0131m bir yanda duygular\u0131m bir yanda, bedenim bir ba\u015fka, ruhum bir ba\u015fka yanda sanki. Abd\u00fclhak Hamit Makber\u2019i sevdi\u011fini kaybettikten sonra kaleme ald\u0131, ben ise sana dokunabilecek mesafedeyken kendi makberime diri diri g\u00f6m\u00fcl\u00fcyorum.<\/p>\n
\u00d6zlemi\u015f, hasret kalm\u0131\u015f, gezegenler aras\u0131 kadar uzakla\u015ft\u0131r\u0131lm\u0131\u015f, saatler sonra enkazdan sa\u011f ama yaral\u0131 kurtar\u0131lm\u0131\u015f gibiyim. Sana ait duygular\u0131 omuzumda ta\u015f\u0131yamama ger\u00e7e\u011fi bir yana, ideallerime kar\u015f\u0131 duydu\u011fum sorumluluk bir yana, kalbimdeki hislerimin kar\u015f\u0131l\u0131ks\u0131zl\u0131\u011f\u0131yla ruhumda yarataca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm hasar\u0131n a\u011f\u0131rl\u0131\u011f\u0131 di\u011fer yana, yolun tam ortas\u0131nda kal\u0131p ne yana gidece\u011fimi bilmemek bamba\u015fka bir yana Leo\u2026<\/p>\n
Daha fazla direnemedim, daha fazla ta\u015f\u0131yamad\u0131m bu y\u00fck\u00fc, kimsesizli\u011fim sana ayan, \u0131zd\u0131rab\u0131m sana beyan\u2026<\/p>\n
Ah Leo! Umutsuzlu\u011fa boyun e\u011fecek biri de\u011filim! Asl\u0131nda bir yar\u0131m bahara hevesli, di\u011fer yan\u0131m mavi sabaha, i\u00e7imdeki perdeleri kald\u0131r\u0131p g\u00fcne\u015fi i\u00e7eri almaya, Nisan\u2019a en \u00e7ok yak\u0131\u015fan Beyonce alb\u00fcm\u00fc dinlemeye, bir k\u0131rlang\u0131\u00e7 kanad\u0131nda Beyrut\u2019u gezmeye ve 9 3\/4 peronunda yolculuk yapmaya. Geride kalm\u0131\u015fl\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131 umursamay\u0131p, yeti\u015fmek i\u00e7in yeterince ko\u015fturmay\u0131\u015f\u0131ma hay\u0131flanmal\u0131y\u0131m oysa. Y\u00fcre\u011fimdeki emanetinin a\u011f\u0131rl\u0131\u011f\u0131yla ya\u015famay\u0131 \u00f6\u011frendim nas\u0131lsa. Say ki, da\u011flar\u0131ma karlar ya\u011fd\u0131 Leo, say ki g\u00fcl\u00fc\u015flerim bir yerlerde as\u0131l\u0131 kald\u0131, tut ki bir benim i\u00e7inde eriten ak\u015famlar\u0131, bir benim bu a\u011f\u0131r cezay\u0131 kendine reva g\u00f6ren. De\u011fil mi ki her insan \u00e7eli\u015fkilerle \u00f6r\u00fcl\u00fc bir a\u011f ve her insan kendi su\u00e7unun kahraman\u0131\u2026<\/p>\n
Ah Sevgili Leo, Babil\u2019in Pyramus\u2019undan daha g\u00fczel Leo! Ben ise fark\u0131nday\u0131m bir Thisbe bile olamad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131n ve bu cesaretle sesleniyorum sana, topra\u011fa g\u00f6mmeyece\u011fini bildi\u011fim selamlar\u0131m\u0131 g\u00f6nderiyorum ve seni sayg\u0131yla selaml\u0131yorum. Ellerimi uzat\u0131yorum tut diye. Tut ki d\u00fcnyam g\u00fcls\u00fcn, y\u00fcz\u00fcme g\u00fcz renkleri art\u0131k d\u00fc\u015fmesin, tut ki kalbim Edward\u2019\u0131n Wallis Simpson i\u00e7in taht\u0131ndan feragat etmesi gibi bende sevin\u00e7le zincirlerimden feragat edeyim.
\nSonra ko\u015farak gel Leo, \u00f6nce kokunu sonra sesini, ard\u0131ndan kendini g\u00f6nder bana.
\nYaralar\u0131m\u0131 sar, y\u00fck\u00fcm\u00fc payla\u015f, beni iyile\u015ftir\u2026<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Merhaba Sevgili Leo; Sana bu sat\u0131rlar\u0131…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":105,"featured_media":8360,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[67,53],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8198"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/105"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=8198"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8198\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=8198"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=8198"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=8198"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}