D\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnmekten ka\u00e7\u0131yorum uzun zamand\u0131r. G\u00f6zlerimde sakl\u0131 bir ac\u0131 var, g\u00f6rmek istemiyorum. Aynalara d\u00f6nm\u00fcyorum y\u00fcz\u00fcm\u00fc. Hareketlerim a\u011f\u0131r aksak, sanki her h\u00fccrem ayr\u0131 ac\u0131 \u00e7ekiyor.<\/p>\n
\u015eehir hareketsiz, g\u00fcne\u015fin do\u011fu\u015funu bekliyor sab\u0131rla. Sokaklar insan dolu ama a\u015fina de\u011fil hi\u00e7bir \u00e7ehre. K\u00f6\u015fe ba\u015f\u0131nda bir tan\u0131d\u0131\u011f\u0131 g\u00f6rmekten korkar gibiyim ama eski bir dosta sar\u0131lman\u0131n \u00f6zlemi var i\u00e7imde. Bekliyorum\u2026<\/p>\n
Nedir bu kadar karanl\u0131k olan? Dile gelmeyen bir t\u00fcrl\u00fc\u2026 yaln\u0131zl\u0131k m\u0131 zul\u00fcm m\u00fc? Neyin yas\u0131 bu s\u00fcr\u00fcp duran? Bilmiyorum\u2026<\/p>\n
Nereye kadar s\u00fcrer? Buz gibi g\u00f6n\u00fcller. Bo\u015flukta as\u0131l\u0131 kalm\u0131\u015f sanki. Kalplerine dokunacak olan\u0131 beklemekten yorulduk. Hi\u00e7 gelmeyecek mi?<\/p>\n
Kimseye g\u00f6stermiyorum y\u00fcz\u00fcm\u00fc. A\u011flamak geliyor i\u00e7imden, a\u011flayam\u0131yorum. Uyumak istiyorum ve unutmak\u2026<\/p>\n
R\u00fcyamda bir d\u00fcnya g\u00f6rmek istiyorum;<\/p>\n
Annelerin evlats\u0131z, \u00e7ocuklar\u0131n kimsesiz kalmad\u0131\u011f\u0131. Her bir \u00e7ehrenin parlak oldu\u011fu. \u0130nsanlar\u0131n g\u00fcne umutla uyan\u0131p, mutlu hayallerle yeniden uykunun kuca\u011f\u0131na d\u00f6nd\u00fc\u011f\u00fc. Yery\u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fcn zulme yabanc\u0131 oldu\u011fu, zalimin nefes alamad\u0131\u011f\u0131, mazlumun zulm solumad\u0131\u011f\u0131, bir k\u00f6\u015fede saf bir y\u00fcre\u011fin g\u00f6zya\u015f\u0131 d\u00f6kmedi\u011fi\u2026<\/p>\n
Sahi heves neydi? Neydi umut. Her defas\u0131nda hi\u00e7 kursakta kalmam\u0131\u015f\u00e7as\u0131na yeniden sahiplendi\u011fimiz o girdapv\u00e2ri duygu mu? Ya da s\u00fcrekli \u201cya tutarsa\u201d diyip yenik d\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm\u00fcz o anl\u0131k heyecanlar m\u0131? Ne kadar y\u0131k\u0131l\u0131rsa y\u0131k\u0131ls\u0131n insan\u0131n asla vazge\u00e7emedi\u011fidir umut.<\/p>\n
Ufukta zor g\u00fcnler mi var?
\nK\u0131\u015f\u0131 g\u00f6rmeden gelir mi bahar..
\nG\u00f6zden yeterli ya\u011fmur ya\u011fmadan a\u00e7ar m\u0131 yaz g\u00fcne\u015fi, \u00e7\u0131kar m\u0131 rengarenk g\u00f6kku\u015fa\u011f\u0131\u2026
\nSo\u011fu\u011fu bilmeyen y\u00fcrek s\u0131cakl\u0131\u011f\u0131n k\u0131ymetini bilir mi hi\u00e7?<\/p>\n
Be\u015finci bir mevsim gibidir insan; hep bahar\u0131 bekleyen ama daima k\u0131\u015fta yakalanan hayata. D\u00f6rt mevsime \u00a0benzer \u00f6mr\u00fcn farkl\u0131 demlerinde. Bazen k\u0131\u015f gelir i\u00e7ine, durgunla\u015f\u0131r,\u00a0 yava\u015fa al\u0131r hayat\u0131. Ama eksik olmaz f\u0131rt\u0131nas\u0131 da. Sonra ya\u011far ya\u011fmur y\u00fcre\u011fine. Sel olur, ya\u015f al\u0131r ortal\u0131\u011f\u0131.<\/p>\n
Bir bakars\u0131n k\u0131\u015f bitmi\u015f, bahar gelmi\u015f. Kalbe d\u00fc\u015fer ilk cemre. G\u00f6zya\u015f\u0131yla besledi\u011fin topraklardan reng\u00e2renk \u00e7i\u00e7ekler meydana gelir. T\u00fcm d\u00fcnya g\u00fcl kokar sayende.<\/p>\n
Mevsimler k\u0131\u015f\u0131 g\u00f6steriyor \u015fimdilerde. Takvim yapraklar\u0131 ac\u0131yla m\u0131hlanm\u0131\u015f gibi d\u00fc\u015fmek bilmiyor. Ne olursa olsun bu k\u0131\u015f\u0131n ard\u0131ndan gelende bahard\u0131r. \u00d6yleyse ihanet de\u011fil mi bu yeis g\u00f6nl\u00fcm\u00fcze? Unutma g\u00fcne\u015f\u00a0 bazen ans\u0131z\u0131n do\u011far karanl\u0131k geceye.<\/p>\n
Sevincin kap\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 \u00f6yle y\u00fcrekten \u00e7almal\u0131y\u0131z ki; yar\u0131nlar bize g\u00fclen g\u00f6zlerle, nihavent makam\u0131nda \u015fark\u0131lar \u00e7alarak gelsin. Umutla ayd\u0131nlatmal\u0131y\u0131z en karanl\u0131k geceyi ki ayd\u0131nlas\u0131n kalbimizin en tenha k\u00f6\u015feleri\u2026<\/p>\n
\u015eairin dedi\u011fi gibi;<\/p>\n
\u201cHer yeni gelen g\u00fcn\u00fc
\nYeni bir \u00fcmitle bekle\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
D\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnmekten ka\u00e7\u0131yorum uzun zamand\u0131r. G\u00f6zlerimde sakl\u0131…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":108,"featured_media":8304,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[67,53],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8172"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/108"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=8172"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8172\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=8172"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=8172"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=8172"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}