Her ac\u0131ya al\u0131\u015f\u0131yor insano\u011flu. Ya da daha do\u011frusu \u201czamanla her his g\u00fc\u00e7ten kuvvetten d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcyor\u201d. H\u0131za m\u00fcptela modern insan\u0131n vakti yok durup d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnmeye, dinlemeye. \u00c7ok defa otob\u00fcs beklemeye sabredemeyip bir \u00f6nceki dura\u011fa y\u00fcr\u00fcm\u00fc\u015fl\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm\u00fcz vard\u0131r elbet; ya da benzer bir \u015feyler. En nihayetinde \u00e2na sabredemeyip 10 y\u0131l sonras\u0131n\u0131 planlayanlar\u0131z; hatta baz\u0131lar\u0131m\u0131z i\u015fi abart\u0131p emeklilik hayalleri bile kurmaya ba\u015flad\u0131. Bir tela\u015ft\u0131r ald\u0131 g\u00f6t\u00fcrd\u00fc hepimizi; son tura giren bu yar\u0131\u015fta ipi \u201cmerhamet\u201d g\u00f6\u011f\u00fcsledi; belki son dakika \u201cvefa\u201d burun fark\u0131yla kazanabilir.<\/p>\n
D\u00fcnya\u2019n\u0131n sadece bizim tasavvur etti\u011fimiz ya da deneyimledi\u011fimiz kadar var oldu\u011funa \u00f6ylesine inand\u0131r\u0131ld\u0131k ki; \u2018\u2019\u00f6teki\u2019\u2019 her s\u00f6z \u00e7alakalem \u201cyaratt\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z\u201d duvarlara \u00e7arpt\u0131; aram\u0131zdaki \u00fc\u00e7 ad\u0131ml\u0131k mesafelere ra\u011fmen tan\u0131mlanamayan zamanlar\u0131 yenmeleri gerekiyordu. Kulakl\u0131klar\u0131m\u0131zdan \u201ckendi tercihimiz\u201d bamba\u015fka bir d\u00fcnya dinlerken, g\u00f6zlerimizi ihtiyar\u0131n biri yerimize g\u00f6z dikmesin diye kapatt\u0131k; kapatt\u0131k da i\u015fi fazla abartt\u0131k. Soka\u011f\u0131 unuttuk\u2026 Soka\u011f\u0131n rengini, sesini, belki de kokusunu. Oysa her m\u00fczik her yerde dinlenilmezdi de\u011ferli konuklar. Anadolu\u2019nun o bozk\u0131r yollar\u0131nda ecnebi memleketlerin m\u00fczi\u011fini dinlemeye kalk\u0131\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131mda anlam\u0131\u015ft\u0131m bunu; m\u00fczik evrenseldi kabul, ama \u201cya\u015fanm\u0131\u015fl\u0131k\u201d bamba\u015fkayd\u0131; evrenselli\u011fin pek\u00e2l\u00e2 \u00f6tesinde. Her neyse; bize her ne olduysa o kula\u011f\u0131m\u0131zdakinden oldu. Bir d\u00fcnya \u201cyaratt\u0131k\u201d; i\u00e7imizdeki bizi susturduk ve h\u00e2liyle \u201c\u015fimdi\u201d yle anla\u015famad\u0131k. Denklem bu kadar basit.<\/p>\n
Yine g\u00fcnlerden bir g\u00fcn; bu denklemin i\u00e7inde bir o yana bir bu yana savrulurken, her g\u00fcn ar\u015f\u0131nlad\u0131\u011f\u0131m metro alt ge\u00e7idini kullan\u0131p \u2018\u2019alelacele\u2019\u2019 eve ula\u015fman\u0131n derdindeyim. Tam ad\u0131m\u0131m\u0131 ataca\u011f\u0131m y\u00fcr\u00fcyen merdivene; bir ses yerle bir ediyor g\u00f6kdelenler harikas\u0131 duvar\u0131m\u0131. H\u00e2kim olam\u0131yorum kendime ve k\u0131s\u0131yorum kula\u011f\u0131mdakinin sesini. Arkamda s\u00f6ylenenlere ald\u0131rmadan gerisin geriye d\u00f6n\u00fcyorum ve o sesi ar\u0131yorum. Tam tam\u0131na 16 basamak yukar\u0131da, k\u00f6\u015feye oturmu\u015f, 11-12 ya\u015flar\u0131nda, hafif\u00e7e tombul bir ufakl\u0131k, bir yandan \u00fcflerken di\u011fer yandan usulca tu\u015flar\u0131na dokunuyor armonikan\u0131n. Ara s\u0131ra g\u00f6zleriyle bir umut \u00f6n\u00fcndeki ufak \u00e7antay\u0131 yokluyor. S\u0131kla\u015ft\u0131r\u0131yorum ad\u0131mlar\u0131m\u0131. Bir m\u00fczi\u011fi sevmek kolay de\u011fil; neden s\u00f6ylendi, neden dinlenir gibi bir s\u00fcr\u00fc soru d\u00fc\u015fer akl\u0131na. Genel de melodi bitene kadar bulamazs\u0131n cevab\u0131n\u0131. \u00d6yle pek anlamam tekni\u011finden; notas\u0131n\u0131, melodisini bilmem hani; ama bu sefer oldu hocam. \u201cHasretinle yand\u0131 g\u00f6nl\u00fcm\u201d derken hasret bir uzun \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131; \u015fimdi sen diyafram\u0131 geli\u015fmemi\u015f diyeceksin de o \u00f6yle de\u011fil, bizim ufakl\u0131k \u201cya\u015fa\u201dd\u0131. Neye hasretti bilemem; okul \u00e7\u0131k\u0131\u015f\u0131 top oynamaya m\u0131, yoksa ak\u015fam ailece huzurla yenilecek bir ak\u015fam yeme\u011fine mi? Belki de \u00fc\u00e7 be\u015f kuru\u015f fazla kazanabilmeye? Yukar\u0131da bahsetti\u011fim derin m\u00fczik bilgime dayanarak s\u00f6yleyebilirim ki; bug\u00fcne dek kimse bu t\u00fcrk\u00fcn\u00fcn hakk\u0131n\u0131 veremedi; o derin hislerin alt\u0131nda ezilip kald\u0131lar belki de; lakin bu ufakl\u0131k ba\u015fard\u0131 bu i\u015fi. Sak\u0131n abart\u0131yorum sanmay\u0131n; dilerseniz bir de siz dinleyin. Bildi\u011fin umut kokuyor bu \u00e7ocuk.<\/p>\n
Demem o ki de\u011ferli okur; merhamet zamanla normalle\u015fmiyor; bir \u00e7ocu\u011fun yol kenar\u0131nda, metro alt\u0131nda mendil satmas\u0131na, \u201ctartay\u0131m m\u0131 abla\u201d demesine, ya da sanat icra etmesine hi\u00e7bir vakit al\u0131\u015fam\u0131yorsun. Kimi zaman d\u00fczene lanet okuyorsun, kimi zaman minicik bir tebess\u00fcmle g\u00f6nl\u00fcn\u00fc al\u0131yorsun ufakl\u0131klar\u0131n.<\/p>\n
Merhamet, tela\u015fe yar\u0131\u015f\u0131ndan \u00e7ekiliyor say\u0131n seyirciler. Vefa ise ezeli rakibini yaln\u0131z b\u0131rakmad\u0131\u011f\u0131 i\u00e7in diskalifiye ediliyor. \u201cAdalet\u201d dersen bir yerlerde s\u0131\u011f\u0131nmac\u0131, sen yapman gerekeni yaparsan, metro alt\u0131nda ya da b\u00fcy\u00fck konser salonlar\u0131nda elbet bulur seni. Gerisi de m\u00fchim de\u011fil zaten.
\nHa bu arada ufakl\u0131k sadece duvarlar\u0131m\u0131 a\u015fmad\u0131; denklemi de \u00e7\u00f6zd\u00fc: olanca yorgunlu\u011fumuza ra\u011fmen \u00fc\u00e7 saniye durup \u201ci\u00e7imizdeki\u201dni dinlemek. Duvarlar m\u0131? B\u0131rak\u0131n \u201cyaratmak\u201d O\u2019na mahsus kals\u0131n. K\u00e2inat\u0131n haks\u0131zl\u0131\u011fa tahamm\u00fcl\u00fc yok; rol \u201c\u00e7alma\u201dyal\u0131m.<\/p>\n
Gelin bir g\u00fczellik yapal\u0131m bug\u00fcn, lafta kalmas\u0131n g\u00fczel d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnceler. Ma\u00e7 muhabbetlerine ortak olal\u0131m mesela o miniklerin, hi\u00e7 olmad\u0131 \u201ckolay gelsin\u201d laf\u0131n\u0131 esirgemeyelim. Halini sormayan olmayal\u0131m. Kocaman umutlar s\u0131\u011fd\u0131rd\u0131klar\u0131 tebess\u00fcmleri a\u015f\u0131versin karl\u0131 da\u011flar\u0131\u2026<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Her ac\u0131ya al\u0131\u015f\u0131yor insano\u011flu. Ya da…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":107,"featured_media":8435,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[67,53],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8166"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/107"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=8166"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8166\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=8166"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=8166"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=8166"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}