Bir\u00e7o\u011fumuz hayat\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n ritmini, rengini, kokusunu, duru\u015funu bozmadan bir \u015feylerin yolunda gitmesini ve engelleri minimuma indirerek m\u00fckemmelli\u011fin bizi bulmas\u0131n\u0131 isteriz. Evet, isteriz ve istedi\u011fimizle kal\u0131r\u0131z \u00e7o\u011fu kez \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc gizli bir g\u00fc\u00e7 yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z plan\u0131 adeta te\u015frih masas\u0131na yat\u0131r\u0131r ve \u2018burada bir terslik var\u2019 der. O g\u00fcc\u00fcn plan\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n \u00fcst\u00fcnde bir plan\u0131 vard\u0131r.<\/p>\n
Antonio Salieri, Viyana Saray\u0131nda kapellmeister oldu\u011funda geni\u015f kitlelerce en iyi besteci ve m\u00fczisyen olarak tan\u0131n\u0131yordu ancak o gizli g\u00fc\u00e7 kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131na \u2018dahi \u00e7ocuk\u2019 Mozart\u2019\u0131 \u00e7\u0131karm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Salieri, \u00a0varmak istedi\u011fi her \u015feyin kendisine de\u011fil Mozart\u2019a bah\u015fedildi\u011fini g\u00f6r\u00fcnce, Pu\u015fkin\u2019in Mozart ve Salieri k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck tragedyalar\u2019\u0131nda ifadesini bulan \u00e7\u00f6k\u00fcnt\u00fcy\u00fc ya\u015fam\u0131\u015ft\u0131.<\/p>\n
G\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc kin b\u00fcr\u00fcm\u00fc\u015f, ezilip toza belenmi\u015f
\nCan \u00e7eki\u015fen bir y\u0131lan \u2013 kim diyebilir bunlar\u0131
\nMa\u011frur ve h\u00fcr ruhlu Salieri\u2019ye? Hi\u00e7 kimse!
\nGel g\u00f6r ben s\u00f6yl\u00fcyorum \u015fimdi
\nNas\u0131l k\u0131skan\u0131yorum \u2013 nas\u0131l. Tanr\u0131m!
\nNerde adalet, e\u011fer kutsal yetenek,
\n\u00d6l\u00fcms\u00fcz deha, bunca didinmeyi, k\u00f6leli\u011fi
\nM\u00fckafatland\u0131rm\u0131yorsa \u2013 tam tersine
\nU\u00e7ar\u0131 bir serserinin beyninde ye\u015feriyorsa
\nSorar\u0131m nerde adalet? Ah Mozart. Mozart!<\/p>\n
B\u00fcy\u00fck ve y\u0131prat\u0131c\u0131 bir k\u0131skan\u00e7l\u0131k, ate\u015fin odunu yiyip bitirdi\u011fi gibi insan\u0131 yiyip bitiren bir haset ve \u00f6tesinde derin bir hayal k\u0131r\u0131kl\u0131\u011f\u0131; takdir edilene r\u0131za g\u00f6stermeme, olanla yetinmeme. Nefislerde olan\u0131 en iyi bilen o gizli g\u00fc\u00e7, ak\u0131\u015f\u0131 bozan, m\u00fczi\u011fi de\u011fi\u015ftiren, m\u00fczi\u011fi de\u011fi\u015ftirince dans\u0131 da d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015ft\u00fcren m\u00fcdahaleleri belki bir cezaland\u0131rma belki bir \u0131slah, terakki ve terbiye arac\u0131 olarak kullan\u0131yor. Tam bu noktada, bir sabah kendisini dev bir b\u00f6ce\u011fe d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015f olarak bulan Gregor Samsa\u2019n\u0131n \u2018benim su\u00e7um ne?\u2019 dedi\u011fini duyar\u0131z. Gregor haset de\u011fildi belki ama \u00f6z\u00fcne yabanc\u0131la\u015fmaktan da hi\u00e7 \u015fikayet\u00e7i olmam\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Evet, burada da bir terslik vard\u0131. San\u0131r\u0131m \u00e7ok dikkatli olmal\u0131 bu hayatta. Azami derecede dikkatli olan da g\u00fcnl\u00fck problemlere tak\u0131labilir dikkatsiz olan da, programl\u0131 g\u00fcne ba\u015flayan da g\u00fcn\u00fc ak\u0131\u015f\u0131na b\u0131rakanda ve g\u00fcz sanc\u0131s\u0131 \u00e7eken de bahara yak\u0131n duran da. E\u011fer burada bir terslik varsa m\u00fcdahale ka\u00e7\u0131n\u0131lmazd\u0131r. Hi\u00e7 beklemedi\u011fimiz bir anda tesad\u00fcf ederiz ona, \u00e7arpar, \u00e7arp\u0131\u015f\u0131r\u0131z adeta. Burada as\u0131l sorun, bu \u00e7arp\u0131\u015fma hali de\u011fil, \u00e7arp\u0131\u015fma sonras\u0131 olu\u015fan yeni denge ve da\u011f\u0131l\u0131mla iletilen mesaj\u0131 alamamak, do\u011fru okumamak, de\u011fi\u015fen m\u00fczikle gelen yeni ritme ve dansa ayak uyduramamak belki de.<\/p>\n
B\u00f6yle zamanlar, i\u00e7imize yolculuklar yapmam\u0131z\u0131 zorunlu k\u0131lar adeta. Birka\u00e7 koca valizle girer, bir Ocak ay\u0131 kar\u0131n ya\u011f\u0131\u015f\u0131n\u0131 izler gibi izleriz olup biteni. \u015ea\u015f\u0131rma, \u00e7\u0131\u011fl\u0131k atma eylemleri bizden bin \u0131\u015f\u0131k y\u0131l\u0131 uzakt\u0131r birka\u00e7 g\u00fcnl\u00fc\u011f\u00fcne. Hayal etti\u011fimiz ve g\u00fcnlerce uykusuz kal\u0131p d\u00fc\u015fledi\u011fimiz g\u00fcn\u00fcn k\u00fclleri etrafa sa\u00e7\u0131lm\u0131\u015f, yerini g\u00fcnl\u00fck aktivitelerimize b\u0131rakm\u0131\u015ft\u0131r art\u0131k, bir k\u0131\u015f g\u00fcn\u00fc, bir \u00f6\u011fleden sonras\u0131, bir haftan\u0131n en yo\u011fun olmayan saatlerinde. G\u00fcnl\u00fck hayatta ba\u015f\u0131m\u0131za gelen o ilgin\u00e7 bazen sars\u0131c\u0131 hayal k\u0131r\u0131kl\u0131\u011f\u0131, g\u00f6rd\u00fcklerimiz, olan-biteni d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnmek, akla uydurmak ve anlamaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmak i\u00e7in bir form\u00fcl olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131nda, kafam\u0131zda kar\u015f\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131 olmayan denklemler kurup sa\u00e7ma sapan sonu\u00e7lar\u0131 avu\u00e7lar\u0131m\u0131za b\u0131rak\u0131r, olmad\u0131 bir su\u00e7lu arar\u0131z, ilk etapta buluruz da. Nihayetinde \u2018yapmasayd\u0131m, s\u00f6ylemeseydim, etmeseydim, eylemeseydim\u2019ler havada u\u00e7u\u015furken ihalenin kendimize kald\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 fark eder bir duvar kenar\u0131na \u00e7\u00f6keriz sessizce.<\/p>\n
Uzaklardan, Paul Mncartney \u2018Yesterday all my troubles seemed so far away\u2019i s\u00f6yler, i\u00e7imize s\u0131z\u0131 d\u00fc\u015fer, \u0130stanbul serin olur, A\u011fustos\u2019a do\u011fru \u00e7ocuklu\u011fumuza kar ya\u011far ve bir s\u0131r perdesi \u00e7\u00f6z\u00fcmlenemeden kapan\u0131r. Yerden yere vurmasa da uykuya g\u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fcp uykusuz getiren bir durum, Allah\u2019a en \u00e7ok dua etti\u011fimiz an, bildi\u011fin g\u00f6zya\u015f\u0131 seli, bilmedi\u011fin kabir azab\u0131 ve g\u00f6kku\u015fa\u011f\u0131n\u0131n en gri tonu ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z o an. \u0130\u015f odur ki o anlarda mevhibe sahibinin bizden neden y\u00fcz \u00e7evirdi\u011fi \u00fczerinde d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnebilelim. Kesben hak etti\u011fimizi d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm\u00fcz\u00fc, vehben bir ba\u015fkas\u0131na ihsan edilmi\u015f g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm\u00fczde Andrei Rublev\u2019in Kirill\u2019i gibi \u2018adaletin yok\u2019 deyip manast\u0131r\u0131 terk etmeyelim.\u00a0 Ok\u00e7ular tepesi bir daha terk edilmesin ve d\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm\u00fcz yerden kalkmas\u0131n\u0131 bilelim.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Bir\u00e7o\u011fumuz hayat\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n ritmini, rengini, kokusunu, duru\u015funu…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":105,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[67,53],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8142"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/105"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=8142"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8142\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=8142"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=8142"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=8142"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}