{"id":8140,"date":"2017-03-01T10:43:30","date_gmt":"2017-03-01T08:43:30","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/kadrandergi.com.tr\/?p=8140"},"modified":"2017-03-01T10:43:30","modified_gmt":"2017-03-01T08:43:30","slug":"kirmizi-kutu-kulesi","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/?p=8140","title":{"rendered":"KIRMIZI KUTU KULES\u0130"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><em>\u2018\u2019Tepeler at\u0131k, sab\u0131r ta\u015f\u0131 \u00e7atlam\u0131\u015f, huniler yolda\u2026 Siperlere dolu\u015fma vakti. En k\u00f6t\u00fcs\u00fc oldu. \u0130nsan\u0131n kendi i\u00e7 sava\u015f\u0131 ba\u015flad\u0131. Solda umutlar\u0131, sa\u011fda hayalleri, ard\u0131nda hayal k\u0131r\u0131kl\u0131klar\u0131, \u00f6n\u00fcnde gelecek g\u00fczel g\u00fcnleri. Ku\u015fatma d\u00f6rt bir yandan devam ederken an, olmayan kafalar\u0131 \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131rma vakti.\u2019\u2019\u00a0<\/em>\u00a0Zemin kattaki odam\u0131n cam\u0131ndan, g\u00f6ky\u00fcz\u00fcne do\u011fru hareketsizce bakarken Nora kula\u011f\u0131ma do\u011fru hayk\u0131r\u0131yordu.<\/p>\n<p>B\u00fcy\u00fck \u015fehirde ya\u015faman\u0131n en b\u00fcy\u00fck avantaj\u0131, o \u00e7aresiz robotik ko\u015fu\u015fturmalar\u0131m\u0131z aras\u0131nda yorgunluktan bitap d\u00fc\u015fen bedenlerimiz derin d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnmelere pek vakit bulamaz. Asl\u0131nda do\u011fal ortam\u0131nda b\u0131rak\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131nda mutludur insan. Her zaman i\u00e7inde bir umudu vard\u0131r, hayallerine giden yolda ger\u00e7ekle\u015ftirmeyi arzulad\u0131\u011f\u0131. \u00c7o\u011fu zaman bu kaotik ortamda kalp sesini duyamaz insan. Bast\u0131ran bir g\u00fcr\u00fclt\u00fc illaki \u00e7\u0131kar kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131na. Ve insan bunun arkas\u0131na s\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131r, i\u015fine gelir tembellik. Onun yerine hayat\u0131n\u0131 tasarlayan birilerinin olmas\u0131, kendini \u00f6zel hissettirir. Ve insan hep susar.<\/p>\n<p>Hayat\u0131n bir \u015fekilde akt\u0131\u011f\u0131 bir ya\u015fam d\u00f6ng\u00fcs\u00fc vard\u0131r. Sen a\u011flasan da, z\u0131rlasan da, z\u0131rvalasan da tutamazs\u0131n. Dur durak bilmeden akar \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc zaman. \u0130nsan do\u011fdu\u011fu andan itibaren hayalleriyle b\u00fcy\u00fcr. Hayat\u0131n\u0131n her an\u0131nda mutlaka ger\u00e7ekle\u015fmesi gereken bir hayalin pe\u015finden ko\u015far. Kimini ger\u00e7ekle\u015ftirir, kimi sadece zihninde olu\u015fan bir bulut olarak kal\u0131r. \u0130\u00e7indeki \u00e7ocu\u011fun \u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fc, insan\u0131n b\u00fcy\u00fcmesiyle ayn\u0131 do\u011frultuda hareket eder. \u00c7ocukken hi\u00e7 yaln\u0131z kalmayaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcr insan. Ne yaparsa yaps\u0131n mutlaka arkas\u0131nda onu destekleyen bir ailesi vard\u0131r. Bunun hep baki kalaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcr. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc \u00e7ocuklu\u011fundan kalma al\u0131\u015fkanl\u0131klar\u0131 vard\u0131r insan\u0131n. Her ak\u015fam mutlaka birlikte yenmesi gereken yemekler, ailecek izlenilen televizyon kanallar\u0131, her bayram mutlaka ziyaret edilen akrabalar\u2026 Lakin i\u015f \u00f6yle de\u011fildir. Uzay meki\u011fine benzer insan. T\u00fcm hayat\u0131 boyunca dikine do\u011fru u\u00e7suz bucaks\u0131z t\u0131rman\u0131r. Bu tutamad\u0131\u011f\u0131, evcille\u015ftiremedi\u011fi tek ger\u00e7ektir. Zaman! Zaman hep dikine do\u011fru ak\u0131p gider. Yolculuk esnas\u0131nda bazen bir r\u00fczgar \u00e7\u0131kar, sars\u0131l\u0131r. Bazen kuvvetli f\u0131rt\u0131nalar kapan\u0131r \u00fcst\u00fcne, y\u00f6n de\u011fi\u015ftirir. Ve her yol ayr\u0131m\u0131nda bir kaps\u00fcl b\u0131rak\u0131r arkas\u0131nda. B\u0131rakmas\u0131 da gerekir zaten, kalp sesini bast\u0131ranlar\u0131 tek tek. A\u011f\u0131rl\u0131klardan kurtuldu\u011funda daha da h\u0131zl\u0131 t\u0131rman\u0131r \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc. \u00d6yle olmas\u0131 gerekti\u011fini ona hep birileri f\u0131s\u0131ldam\u0131\u015ft\u0131r. H\u0131z kazanman\u0131n iyi bir hareket oldu\u011funu d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcr. Bu u\u011furda vakti geldi\u011finde ailesini de gerisinde b\u0131rak\u0131r insan. Vazge\u00e7er. Ge\u00e7mek zorunda kal\u0131r. Bir de i\u00e7inde \u2018\u2019Ben elimden gelen her \u015feyi yapt\u0131m.\u2019\u2019 rahatl\u0131\u011f\u0131 olu\u015fur. Vicdan kaps\u00fcl\u00fcn\u00fc de b\u0131rakm\u0131\u015f olur b\u00f6ylelikle. Yola ilk \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131\u011f\u0131nda ne kadar kalabal\u0131ksa, sessizlik duvar\u0131n\u0131 a\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131 andan itibaren bir o kadar da yaln\u0131zd\u0131r.<\/p>\n<p>Kasvetli ve hafif ya\u011fmurlu bir k\u0131\u015f g\u00fcn\u00fc, g\u00fcne\u015f batmaya y\u00fcz tutarken, zemin kattaki odam\u0131n cam\u0131ndan bak\u0131p i\u00e7imden bunlar\u0131 ge\u00e7irmi\u015ftim. Nora\u2019ya k\u0131zg\u0131nd\u0131m. Konu\u015ftu\u011fu i\u00e7in de\u011fil elbet, do\u011frular\u0131 s\u00f6yledi\u011fi i\u00e7in. Lakin ne olursa olsun b\u00f6yle f\u00fctursuzca s\u00f6ylememeli. Ben de biliyorum ya\u015fad\u0131klar\u0131m\u0131, hayat\u0131n beni s\u00fcr\u00fckledi\u011fi y\u00f6n\u00fc. Kendime bile zar zor itiraf etmi\u015fken, o ald\u0131r\u0131\u015f dahi etmeden b\u00fct\u00fcn fikirlerini hayk\u0131rabiliyordu.\u00a0<em>\u2018\u2019Hayret, bu sefer susuyorsun, san\u0131r\u0131m i\u00e7imden ge\u00e7irirken bile f\u0131s\u0131ldam\u0131\u015f\u0131m. Yoksa mutlaka konu\u015furdun geveze.\u2019\u2019<\/em>\u00a0dedim. Cevap vermedi. \u0130\u015fime gelir, ben de kafam\u0131 dinlerim. Cam\u0131m\u0131n hemen dibinde duran bah\u00e7e duvar\u0131n\u0131n \u00fczerinden g\u00f6\u011fe do\u011fru bakarken g\u00f6z\u00fcme bir k\u0131rm\u0131z\u0131l\u0131k tak\u0131ld\u0131. Duvar\u0131n \u00fczerindeki kam\u0131\u015flardan yap\u0131lma has\u0131r \u00e7it y\u00fcz\u00fcnden ne oldu\u011funu pek se\u00e7emedim, ilk etapta. Ancak g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm ilk anda kalbim \u00e7arpmaya ba\u015flad\u0131. Bana bir \u015feyler s\u00f6ylemeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131 o kadar \u00e7ok belliydi ki, tak\u0131l\u0131 kald\u0131m. Ben ne oldu\u011funu d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcrken Nora \u00fcrkek\u00e7e f\u0131s\u0131ldad\u0131.\u00a0<em>\u2018\u2019 Ailenle birlikte en son ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131n bina de\u011fil mi bu? Onlardan ayr\u0131 kald\u0131\u011f\u0131n her g\u00fcn, yeni evinin cam\u0131ndan ona do\u011fru bak\u0131p gecelerce a\u011flad\u0131\u011f\u0131n evin. \u00d6zlem denizlerinde bo\u011fuldu\u011funda kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131na ge\u00e7ip saatlerce izlerdin. Hat\u0131rlad\u0131n m\u0131?\u2019\u2019\u00a0<\/em>Hayat\u0131m\u0131n her an\u0131na \u015fahitlik etmesine tahamm\u00fcl edemesem de hakl\u0131yd\u0131. Eski hayat\u0131ma duydu\u011fum \u00f6zlem, \u015fuan \u00e7ok yak\u0131n\u0131mdayd\u0131. Ger\u00e7i bizim evimizin rengi k\u0131rm\u0131z\u0131 de\u011fildi. \u015eehrin tozunu emdi\u011finden ye\u015fil olmaktan \u00e7\u0131k\u0131p griye y\u00fcz tutmu\u015f bir renkti. Ama fark etmez benim i\u00e7in. Yeni hayat\u0131m\u0131n dibine vars\u0131n k\u0131rm\u0131z\u0131s\u0131 yap\u0131ls\u0131n dert de\u011fil. Ger\u00e7i ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z yerde yaln\u0131zca \u00e7at\u0131s\u0131z beyaz evler var. Renklere izin verilmiyor. Hem bu kadar y\u00fcksek katl\u0131 bir bina da yapt\u0131rmazlar. Ayr\u0131ca bir g\u00fcnde de zaten bina yap\u0131lmaz.\u00a0<em>\u2018\u2019Harekete ge\u00e7! Hala ne bekliyorsun? Git yan\u0131na, yak\u0131n\u0131na, \u00f6yle seyret. Belki ger\u00e7ekten de yap\u0131lm\u0131\u015ft\u0131r.\u2019\u2019\u00a0<\/em>Nora beni harekete ge\u00e7irmi\u015fti. O konu\u015fmaya ba\u015flad\u0131\u011f\u0131nda resmen mant\u0131\u011f\u0131m i\u015flevini yitiriyordu. Ayakkab\u0131lar\u0131m\u0131 bile giymeden \u00e7\u0131km\u0131\u015f\u0131m evden. Ya\u011fmur h\u0131zlanm\u0131\u015f biraz daha, ben Nora\u2019yla konu\u015furken. Ko\u015fmaya ba\u015flad\u0131m. Bir an \u00f6nce yak\u0131n\u0131na gitmek istiyordum. Havan\u0131n so\u011fuklu\u011fundan ya\u011fmur ayaklar\u0131m\u0131 k\u0131zart\u0131yordu ama pek ald\u0131r\u0131\u015f etmedim. K\u0131rm\u0131z\u0131l\u0131k netle\u015fince hayat\u0131m\u0131n o kaps\u00fcl\u00fcn\u00fc resmen b\u0131rakt\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131 fark ettim. Plastik kutular y\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131ndan ba\u015fka bir \u015fey de\u011fildi kar\u015f\u0131mda duran. K\u0131rm\u0131z\u0131 kutu kulesi. \u0130\u00e7ecek markas\u0131na ait bir y\u0131\u011f\u0131n kutu. Pencere olarak g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn \u015feyler, kutular\u0131 tutma yeriymi\u015f. Klima olarak g\u00f6rd\u00fcklerim de markan\u0131n ad\u0131.\u00a0<em>\u2018\u2019\u00d6z\u00fcr dilerim, ben sadece iyi hissedersin diye d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fcm. Ah ke\u015fke\u2026\u2019\u2019\u00a0<\/em>pi\u015fman oldu\u011fu her kelimesinden belli olan Nora\u2019y\u0131 b\u00fcy\u00fck bir h\u0131\u015f\u0131mla b\u00f6ld\u00fcm.\u00a0<em>\u2018\u2019Kes sesini! Benimle oynama Nora! Kim de\u011fil ne oldu\u011funu unutma. \u0130\u00e7imsin sen benim, i\u00e7 sesimsin. Sus dedi\u011fimde susman gerekti\u011fini unutma. Ben pes etti\u011fimde sen de edeceksin. \u00d6yle i\u00e7ten i\u00e7ten umut dalgalar\u0131 yaratma. Ya\u011fmurda \u0131slanan da sen de\u011filsin, hayal k\u0131r\u0131kl\u0131\u011f\u0131na u\u011frayan da!\u2019\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>\u2018\u2019Yol ayr\u0131m\u0131na geldi\u011fini fark etti\u011finde geri d\u00f6nmeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015fma. Bu sana zaman kaybettirir. Se\u00e7im yap ve yeni hayat\u0131n\u0131 kar\u015f\u0131la. Unutma ki insan se\u00e7imlerinden ibarettir. Pi\u015fmanl\u0131klar\u0131nda kimseyi su\u00e7lama.\u2019\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\u2018\u2019Tepeler at\u0131k, sab\u0131r ta\u015f\u0131 \u00e7atlam\u0131\u015f, huniler&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":104,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[67,53],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8140"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/104"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=8140"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8140\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=8140"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=8140"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=8140"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}