G\u00f6k kara sa\u00e7lar\u0131n\u0131 savurmu\u015f, y\u0131ld\u0131zlar\u0131yla g\u00f6z k\u0131rp\u0131yordu geceye. Yine\u00a0 beni uykular\u0131mdan vazge\u00e7irdi \u015fu \u00e7elik ge\u00e7irmez d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcncelerim. Art\u0131k zapt edemiyordum onlar\u0131. Birike birike kocaman bir dev olmu\u015flard\u0131. Geni\u015f omuzlar\u0131yla, b\u00fcy\u00fck ayaklar\u0131yla, i\u00e7ime s\u0131\u011fmayan bir dev. Her att\u0131\u011f\u0131 ad\u0131mda i\u00e7imde zelzele yaratan vah\u015fi yarat\u0131k. Oda s\u0131k\u0131lm\u0131\u015ft\u0131 i\u00e7imdeki karanl\u0131ktan, kurtulmak istiyordu i\u00e7imin pasl\u0131 zincirlerinden. A\u00e7 g\u00f6zlerini dev bak d\u0131\u015far\u0131 gece karanl\u0131k, bak i\u00e7ime i\u00e7im karanl\u0131k. Bir kibrit \u00e7ak g\u00f6r \u00f6n\u00fcn\u00fc, i\u00e7erisi darmada\u011f\u0131n\u0131k. Ey dev! Sen benim tutkular\u0131m, d\u00fcnyal\u0131klar\u0131m, i\u00e7imdeki putlar\u0131m\u2026
\n\u0130smi d\u00fcnyada nefs olup bendimde dev olan imtihan\u0131ms\u0131n sen. Devin bana g\u00f6re Firavundan fark\u0131 yok, \u00f6ld\u00fcr\u00fcyor i\u00e7imde ki t\u00fcm umutlar\u0131. Bir Musa kal\u0131yor geriye. Musa! Devirecek mi Firavunu yere? G\u00f6mecek mi onu K\u0131z\u0131ldeniz\u2019e?<\/p>\n
\u015eimdi hacet ediyorum semaya, bir y\u0131ld\u0131z kaysa ke\u015fke bu duaya. Nas\u0131l ki Yunus (as) hem gece de hem derya da \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131 d\u00fcze, \u015fu i\u00e7imde ki dev de beni \u00f6yle terk etse. Zuhur etsem, devrim \u00e7\u0131karsam, asice ba\u015fkald\u0131rsam nefsime. Bende \u00e7\u0131ksam d\u00fcze, bu karanl\u0131k ve dalgal\u0131 denizden vursam sahile.<\/p>\n
Yeis ve halvete bo\u011fulan bendimi \u0130brahim (as) gibi ate\u015flerde yaksam. K\u0131rsam t\u00fcm putlar\u0131m\u0131 O\u2019nun ismiyle. Kalbimde ki o har olur mu g\u00fclistan? \u00a0Zindanlara hapsolsam, Yusuf (as) gibi kuyulara at\u0131lsam. Bu zindan ya\u015fam\u0131m olur mu medrese? Kuyudan \u00e7\u0131k\u0131nca olur muyum sultan?<\/p>\n
Izd\u0131rab\u0131n m\u0131zra\u011f\u0131 saplan\u0131yor g\u00f6\u011fs\u00fcme. Dizlerinin \u00fcst\u00fcne d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcyor dev. G\u00f6zlerinin feri s\u00f6n\u00fcyor,\u00a0 k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fcld\u00fck\u00e7e k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fcl\u00fcyor g\u00f6z\u00fcmde\u2026 O k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fcld\u00fck\u00e7e g\u00f6k ayd\u0131nlan\u0131yor. Y\u0131k\u0131yorum i\u00e7imde ki t\u00fcm putlar\u0131. Kuyulardan \u00e7\u0131kar\u0131yorum bendimi. Dev \u00f6l\u00fcyor, sahile vuruyorum ben. Ruhum \u015fimdi kendini arayan bir bedevi misali, b\u0131rak\u0131yorum onu \u00f6zg\u00fcrl\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn \u00e7\u00f6llerine. Kays gibi bulsun Rabbini\u2026<\/p>\n
G\u00f6\u011fe bak\u0131yorum, mavi \u015fal\u0131n\u0131 dolam\u0131\u015f omzuna, o asi \u00e7ocuksu g\u00f6zlerinin ard\u0131nda sakl\u0131yor g\u00fczelli\u011fini. Uzan\u0131yorum, beyaz pamuktan sa\u00e7lar\u0131na bir papatya tak\u0131yorum. G\u00fcl\u00fcms\u00fcyorum gecemi g\u00fcnd\u00fcze ula\u015ft\u0131ran Yaradan\u2019a.<\/p>\n
D\u00fc\u015f\u00fcncelerim kanat \u00e7\u0131rp\u0131yor semaya\u2026 Biliyorum bu uzun ve dikenli yolun daha \u00e7ok ba\u015f\u0131nday\u0131m\u2026<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
G\u00f6k kara sa\u00e7lar\u0131n\u0131 savurmu\u015f, y\u0131ld\u0131zlar\u0131yla g\u00f6z…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":41,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[67,53],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8132"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/41"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=8132"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8132\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=8132"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=8132"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=8132"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}