Evden \u00e7\u0131kmadan \u00f6nce odadaki cam\u0131, az\u0131c\u0131k hava girsin diye a\u00e7\u0131k b\u0131rakmak istedi Arvas. Cam\u0131 a\u00e7mak i\u00e7in pencereye yakla\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131nda d\u0131\u015far\u0131da kar\u015f\u0131 dairede oturan Baki Amca\u2019y\u0131 g\u00f6rd\u00fc. Adam \u00e7evresine bak\u0131n\u0131p s\u00f6yleniyordu. Bir s\u00fcre sonra yukar\u0131 bakt\u0131. Arvas\u2019\u0131 g\u00f6r\u00fcnce bir \u015fey bulmu\u015f gibi sevinerek \u2018\u2019Sen!\u2019\u2019 dedi. \u2018\u2019Senden bir \u015fey istesem yapar m\u0131s\u0131n?\u2019\u2019 Arvas, kar\u015f\u0131 dairesinde oturan Baki Amca\u2019n\u0131n yine neler s\u00f6yleyece\u011fini merak ediyordu. Baki Amca Alzheimer hastas\u0131yd\u0131 ve bu y\u00fczden Arvas\u2019\u0131n ad\u0131n\u0131 s\u00fcrekli unutup \u2018\u2019Sen\u2019\u2019 diye hitap ediyordu. Baki Amca\u2019n\u0131n d\u0131\u015far\u0131 \u00e7\u0131kmas\u0131 bile \u015fa\u015f\u0131lacak durumdu. Arvas blo\u011fa yeni ta\u015f\u0131nm\u0131\u015f say\u0131l\u0131rd\u0131. Fakat Baki Amca\u2019y\u0131 k\u0131sa zamanda tan\u0131d\u0131. Kar\u015f\u0131 dairesinde Baki Amca ile oturan kimse yoktu, tek ya\u015f\u0131yordu. Arvas s\u0131k s\u0131k evine gider, ziyaret ederdi, Alzheimer hastas\u0131 olan Baki Amca\u2019 y\u0131 dinler, bir\u00e7ok \u015feyi tekrara mecbur kal\u0131rd\u0131. Yine de halinden memnundu. Baki Amca ona hep garip garip hikayeler anlat\u0131rd\u0131. Arvas bu hikayelerin hi\u00e7 birinin ger\u00e7ek olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnse de b\u00fcy\u00fck bir sab\u0131rla bazen ise \u015fa\u015fk\u0131nl\u0131kla dinlerdi. Arvas, daha fazla bekletmeden Baki Amca\u2019n\u0131n yan\u0131na, parka inmeye karar verdi. Merdivenleri h\u0131zl\u0131 h\u0131zl\u0131 inerken ne oldu\u011funu merak etmeye ba\u015flad\u0131. Merdivenin son basama\u011f\u0131ndan indi ve karanl\u0131k koridorda \u00e7\u0131k\u0131\u015f kap\u0131s\u0131na do\u011fru ilerledi, kap\u0131y\u0131 a\u00e7t\u0131 ve parka giderek Baki Amca\u2019n\u0131n oturdu\u011fu bank\u0131n k\u00f6\u015fesine ili\u015fti. Baki Amca\u2019ya neden geldi\u011fini hat\u0131rlatmaya yeltendi fakat Baki Amca Arvas\u2019\u0131n dudaklar\u0131n\u0131 k\u0131m\u0131ldatmas\u0131yla birlikte lafa girdi; \u2018\u2019Buraya neden geldi\u011fini unutmad\u0131m, \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc ben hep bu an i\u00e7in ya\u015fad\u0131m. Gelirken d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcn belki yine o \u00e7ekilmez hikayelerden mi? diye\u2026 Ben anlataca\u011f\u0131m\u0131 anlatay\u0131m inan\u0131p inanmamak sana kalm\u0131\u015f, bundan evvelki b\u00fct\u00fcn hikayelerime inanmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 bildi\u011fimden s\u00f6yl\u00fcyorum sana bunlar\u0131, ama l\u00fctfen birazdan anlatacaklar\u0131ma inansan da inanmasan da diyeceklerimi yap.\u2019\u2019 Arvas, Alzheimer hastas\u0131 olan Baki Amcay\u0131 hi\u00e7 bu kadar bilin\u00e7li konu\u015furken g\u00f6rmemi\u015fti, nas\u0131l olabiliyordu b\u00f6yle bir \u015fey, olduk\u00e7a \u015fa\u015f\u0131rd\u0131, bu konu\u015fman\u0131n nereye varaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7ok merak ediyordu. Baki Amca devam etti; \u2018\u2019 Kendime \u015fa\u015f\u0131r\u0131yorum \u015fu an ad\u0131n\u0131, kim oldu\u011funu unuttum mesela. Ama neden burada oldu\u011funu iyi biliyorum. \u00c7ok garip bir \u015fey bu. Tarifi imkans\u0131z. Ve ilk defa ya\u015f\u0131yorum\u2026\u2019\u2019 Arvas kendisini pazar uykusundan uyand\u0131r\u0131l\u0131p gerilim filminin ortas\u0131na at\u0131lm\u0131\u015f gibi hissediyordu. Baki Amca \u2018\u2019 \u0130sim neydi?\u2019\u2019 diye sordu Arvas yutkunarak \u2018\u2019 Arvas\u2019\u2019 dedi Baki Amca cebinden \u00fczerinde sonsuzluk i\u015fareti olan bir kolye \u00e7\u0131kartt\u0131 ve g\u00f6zlerini kolyeden ay\u0131rmadan \u2018\u2019 Arvas, bug\u00fcn onun do\u011fum g\u00fcn\u00fc, bunu ona g\u00f6t\u00fcrmeni istesem, yapar m\u0131s\u0131n benim i\u00e7in?\u2019\u2019 Arvas ne diyece\u011fini bilemiyordu, fakat kabul etmekten ba\u015fka \u00e7aresi yoktu, yan\u0131na gidip hikayeye ortak oldu\u011fu i\u00e7in kendisini mecbur hissediyordu. \u2018\u2019Peki Baki Amca\u2019\u2019 dedi \u2018\u2019adresini biliyor musun?\u2019\u2019 Baki Amca hemen cebinden bir ka\u011f\u0131t \u00e7\u0131kartt\u0131 ve kolyeyle birlikte Arvas\u2019a uzatt\u0131, \u2018\u2019Tez git, nas\u0131lm\u0131\u015f \u00f6\u011fren. Hee bir de yak\u0131nda o da gelecekmi\u015f ziyaretine demeyi unutma\u2026 Haydi u\u011furlar ola\u2019\u2019 diyerek konu\u015fmay\u0131 bitirdi. Arvas yola koyulmu\u015ftu, Ad\u0131mlar\u0131n\u0131n aras\u0131nda ne oldu\u011funu anlamaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131yordu, bunun g\u00f6n\u00fcl hikayesi oldu\u011funu sezmi\u015fti, fakat neyle kar\u015f\u0131la\u015faca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 yine de merak ediyordu.<\/p>\n
Bu hikayeyi bir de kar\u015f\u0131 taraftan dinleyecekti\u2026 Baya\u011f\u0131 yol kat etmi\u015fti, hatta varm\u0131\u015f say\u0131l\u0131rd\u0131, fakat yine oyuna geldi\u011fini d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fc \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc bulundu\u011fu civarda hi\u00e7 bir ev yoktu, a\u011fa\u00e7lar\u0131n kaplad\u0131\u011f\u0131 uzun yolda biraz ilerledi ve yolun kenar\u0131ndaki mezarl\u0131\u011f\u0131n \u00f6n\u00fcnde durdu \u2018\u2019Can yolda\u015f\u0131n\u0131 kaybetmi\u015fti demek\u2026\u2019\u2019 Arvas\u2019\u0131n nefesi kesildi, Ad\u0131mlar\u0131 gittik\u00e7e g\u00fc\u00e7le\u015fiyordu, zor bela onun mezar\u0131n\u0131n \u00f6n\u00fcne gitti ve daha fazla dayanamayarak mezar\u0131n dibine y\u0131\u011f\u0131l\u0131verdi, g\u00f6zlerinden ya\u015flar s\u00fcz\u00fcl\u00fcyordu.
\nKafas\u0131n\u0131 kald\u0131r\u0131p mezar\u0131n mermerine bakt\u0131 \u2018BAK\u0130\u2019 yaz\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6rd\u00fc \u201cBAK\u0130 SONSUZ\u201d Arvas, \u015fa\u015fk\u0131nl\u0131\u011f\u0131na ra\u011fmen t\u00fcm bu olanlar\u0131 anlamaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131yordu, \u201cDemek asl\u0131nda Baki, e\u015finin ad\u0131yd\u0131. Ve bu kolye\u2026bu sonsuzluk i\u015fareti\u2026?\u2019\u2019 Arvas\u2019\u0131n kafas\u0131 allak bullak olmu\u015ftu, ya\u015fad\u0131klar\u0131na inanam\u0131yordu, Verdi\u011fi s\u00f6z\u00fc yerine getirmek i\u00e7in kolyeyi mezar\u0131n ba\u015f ucuna g\u00f6merek, topra\u011f\u0131na \u201cyak\u0131nda o da gelecekmi\u015f\u201d diye f\u0131s\u0131ldad\u0131. Tam do\u011frulacakt\u0131 ki mezar\u0131n k\u00f6\u015fesindeki bir ka\u011f\u0131t dikkatini \u00e7ekti uzan\u0131p ald\u0131 ve okumaya ba\u015flad\u0131 \u201cHATIRAN YETER BANA, UZAKTA KAL SEVG\u0130L\u0130M\u201d Arvas bu \u015fark\u0131 s\u00f6zlerini ka\u011f\u0131tta g\u00f6r\u00fcnce \u015fa\u015fk\u0131nl\u0131ktan k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck dilini yutacakt\u0131 neredeyse, elleri titremeye ba\u015flad\u0131, muhtemelen buralardan ge\u00e7en biri d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcrm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fcr diye d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fc, fakat \u2018\u2019bu nas\u0131l bir tesad\u00fcft\u00fcr b\u00f6yle\u2019\u2019 demekten kendini alamad\u0131, biraz durdu ve \u2018KADER..\u2019. diyerek ac\u0131 bir tebess\u00fcmle oradan ayr\u0131ld\u0131. Arvas geldi\u011fi gibi Baki Amca\u2019n\u0131n evine gitti ziline uzun uzun bast\u0131, Baki Amca iyice elden ayaktan d\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc, zor bela kap\u0131y\u0131 a\u00e7t\u0131. Ama yine her \u015feyi unutmu\u015ftu, Arvas birka\u00e7 \u015fey s\u00f6yleyerek i\u00e7eri girdi. Bu olanlara anlam veremiyordu, evde belki Baki Amca\u2019n\u0131n can yolda\u015f\u0131na ait bir \u015feyler bulabilir ve bulmacay\u0131 \u00e7\u00f6zebilirdi. Odalar\u0131 gezdi, yatak odas\u0131ndaki dolaplar\u0131 a\u00e7t\u0131, \u00e7ekmeceleri kar\u0131\u015ft\u0131rd\u0131 fakat bir \u015fey bulamad\u0131.. Baki Amca yine bir \u015feyler anlad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 sezdirerek esrarengiz hallere b\u00fcr\u00fcnm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc, yatak odas\u0131na giderek yatt\u0131\u011f\u0131 yast\u0131\u011f\u0131n alt\u0131na elini soktu ve bir \u00e7er\u00e7eve \u00e7\u0131kard\u0131, nefesi daral\u0131yordu, konu\u015fmakta zorluk \u00e7ekerek; \u2018\u2019Bunu mu ar\u0131yorsun? Bende kalan son hat\u0131ras\u0131\u2019\u2019 Arvas \u00e7er\u00e7eveyi eline ald\u0131 ve uzun uzun bakt\u0131. Ama bu, onun bulmacas\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7\u00f6zmek i\u00e7in yeterli de\u011fildi \u00e7er\u00e7evenin arkas\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7evirdi ve bir yaz\u0131yla kar\u015f\u0131la\u015ft\u0131 \u201cUNUTULMAZ ADINLA, DUDAKTA KAL SEVG\u0130L\u0130M\u201d yaz\u0131yordu. Demek o \u00f6l\u00fcnce ad\u0131n\u0131 de\u011fi\u015ftirip kendi ismi yapm\u0131\u015ft\u0131, belki de doktorlar \u2018Alzheimer ba\u015flang\u0131c\u0131\u2019 dediklerinde can yolda\u015f\u0131n\u0131 unutmaktan korktu ve o andan itibaren e\u015finin ad\u0131n\u0131 kullanarak kendisini unutulmaya y\u00fcz tutmu\u015f bir insan gibi rafa kald\u0131rd\u0131, kim bilir o kimdi?.. Arvas k\u0131m\u0131ldayamayacak haldeydi, mezar\u0131n ba\u015f ucunda buldu\u011fu \u015fark\u0131 s\u00f6zlerinin devam\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7er\u00e7evenin arkas\u0131nda g\u00f6r\u00fcnce dondu kald\u0131.. O s\u0131rada b\u00fcy\u00fck sessizli\u011fi Baki Amca\u2019n\u0131n yere y\u0131\u011f\u0131lmas\u0131 bozdu, Arvas can havliyle hastaneye kald\u0131rd\u0131 Baki Amca\u2019y\u0131. Fakat Can yolda\u015f\u0131na da dedi\u011fi gibi yan\u0131na gidiyordu\u2026 Gitmi\u015fti bile. Yan\u0131na defnettiler. Arvas olanlar\u0131 daha fazla kurcalamak istemedi, \u00e7ok yorulmu\u015ftu. Hayat\u0131n bir tesad\u00fcfler silsilesi oldu\u011funu anlam\u0131\u015ft\u0131. o g\u00fcnden sonra hayattaki b\u00fcy\u00fck-k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck t\u00fcm k\u0131m\u0131ldan\u0131\u015flar\u0131 sezerek ya\u015famaya ba\u015flad\u0131. Bazen tek bir sorunun cevab\u0131n\u0131 bir \u015fark\u0131da bulabilirdik, Baki Amca\u2019n\u0131n hikayesinde de oldu\u011fu gibi;<\/p>\n
\u201cUNUTULMAZ ADINLA, DUDAKTA KAL SEVG\u0130L\u0130M,
\nHATIRAN YETER BANA UZAKTA KAL SEVG\u0130L\u0130M\u201d
\nDipnot: Herkesin bir \u015fark\u0131s\u0131 vard\u0131r.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Evden \u00e7\u0131kmadan \u00f6nce odadaki cam\u0131, az\u0131c\u0131k…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":89,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[67,53],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8080"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/89"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=8080"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8080\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=8080"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=8080"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=8080"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}