Hi\u00e7 b\u0131kmad\u0131\u011f\u0131m manzarama benimle birlikte e\u015flik eden farkl\u0131 hislerin ortas\u0131ndayken aniden zamana ge\u00e7 kald\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131, g\u00fcne\u015fin bir t\u00fcrl\u00fc s\u0131\u011famad\u0131\u011f\u0131 penceremin kenar\u0131na koydu\u011fum mumun, \u00fcst tarafta b\u0131rakt\u0131\u011f\u0131 isin \u00fcst\u00fcne yaz\u0131lm\u0131\u015f yar\u0131 okunakl\u0131 hayallerden anl\u0131yorum. Heyecan\u0131n \u00f6n\u00fcne ge\u00e7en keskin bir panik hissiyle ne diyece\u011fimi d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcrken, ilk defa bu kadar ayd\u0131nlatt\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 fark ediyorum titrek ellerimde bir an \u00f6nce bitmek isteyen mumun. Kap\u0131ya yeti\u015fmek i\u00e7in att\u0131\u011f\u0131m ad\u0131mlar\u0131n ard\u0131 s\u0131ra gelmiyordu sanki t\u0131pk\u0131 eskisi gibi. Bir zamanlar elimin yeti\u015fmedi\u011fi o s\u00fcrg\u00fcye elimi att\u0131\u011f\u0131m zaman, buradan \u00e7\u0131kmak isteyen o k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fcc\u00fck ellerin s\u0131cakl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 hissedebiliyorum hala. Kap\u0131y\u0131 a\u00e7arsam acaba yine dolar m\u0131 evin i\u00e7i k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fcc\u00fck ayaklar\u0131n \u00e7\u0131kard\u0131\u011f\u0131 sesler ve bitmeyen o saf ufak g\u00fcl\u00fc\u015flerle? Yorgun duygular\u0131n kar\u0131\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131 karanl\u0131\u011fa ra\u011fmen bir an\u0131ya tak\u0131lmamak i\u00e7in ad\u0131mlar\u0131m\u0131 dikkatli at\u0131yor, rahats\u0131z etmemek i\u00e7in dil ucunda m\u0131r\u0131ldan\u0131yorum. Eksikli\u011fini hi\u00e7 hissetmedi\u011fim bir dostun bana verdi\u011fi sonsuz huzur tad\u0131ndaki karanl\u0131k ortas\u0131nda di\u011fer odaya ge\u00e7erken, i\u00e7 sesimin bana bir \u015feyler anlatma \u00e7abas\u0131n\u0131, titrek elimdeki mumun belli belirsiz olu\u015fturdu\u011fu g\u00f6lgelerden \u00e7\u0131kar\u0131yorum. Derken g\u00f6zlerime \u00e7arp\u0131yor duvara as\u0131l\u0131 bitmeye y\u00fcz tutmu\u015f s\u0131ska bir takvim ile \u00e7aresizce bir \u00e7er\u00e7eve i\u00e7inde volta atmakla me\u015fgul saatim. \u00a0Hemen yan\u0131nda ise zaman\u0131n \u00e7almamas\u0131 i\u00e7in t\u00fcm mutlulu\u011fun s\u0131k\u0131\u015ft\u0131r\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131 \u00e7ivisi d\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015f bir tablo\u2026 Biraz daha yak\u0131ndan bakmak i\u00e7in yak\u0131nla\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131mda i\u00e7inde bulundu\u011fum durumdan olduk\u00e7a uzakla\u015f\u0131yorum. Bir \u015feyler ararcas\u0131na incelerken tabloyu, cam\u0131na d\u00fc\u015fen yans\u0131mamla tan\u0131\u015f\u0131yorum. Tablonun i\u00e7indeki ben, fakat cam\u0131na yans\u0131yan benden \u00e7ok fazla bir ba\u015fkas\u0131. Kendi i\u00e7imde belirsizli\u011fe d\u00fc\u015ferken mum yava\u015f\u00e7a bitiyor ve \u015fimdi tamamen belirsizlik i\u00e7inde oldu\u011fum bir geceye \u201cMerhaba\u201d diyorum.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Hi\u00e7 b\u0131kmad\u0131\u011f\u0131m manzarama benimle birlikte e\u015flik…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":78,"featured_media":8657,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[67,53],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7962"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/78"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=7962"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7962\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=7962"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=7962"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=7962"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}