Bilmiyorum susarak ge\u00e7er mi \u00e7o\u011fu \u015feyler. Ya da \u00e7are midir susmak yaralar\u0131 sarmaya, a\u011fr\u0131lar\u0131 dindirmeye.<\/p>\n
Susmak, bir sab\u0131r i\u015fi de\u011fil midir, azizim?!<\/p>\n
Diline gem vurmak, harflerin ahengi ses t\u0131n\u0131s\u0131 ile bulu\u015fmadan yutkunmak. Yutkunmak diyorum bakmay\u0131n. Bo\u011faza d\u00fc\u011f\u00fcmlenen kelimelerin, c\u00fcmlelerin haddi hesab\u0131 yok asl\u0131nda. Ama olsun, ald\u0131rmay\u0131n.<\/p>\n
Susuyorum i\u015fte, tek konu\u015fma yetim ise g\u00f6zlerden s\u00fcz\u00fclen damlalar. Nereden gelir, nereye gider bilinmeyen\u00a0 bir ak\u0131nt\u0131. Zaten me\u00e7hul\u00fc oynam\u0131yor muyuz hayatta? Oldu\u011fun gibi de\u011fil de olman gerekti\u011fi rol i\u00e7erisinde \u00e7e\u015fitli \u015fekiller, renkten renge, pozdan poza. Asl\u0131nda buna me\u00e7hule oynamak deyip de bu g\u00fczel kelimenin manas\u0131n\u0131 b\u00f6yle kirli bir a\u00e7\u0131klaman\u0131n \u00f6znesi yapmayal\u0131m.\u00a0 Sahtekarl\u0131k desek mesela?<\/p>\n
Kimiz ki biz?!<\/p>\n
Ger\u00e7ek ki\u015fili\u011fimiz, kimli\u011fimiz nedir?<\/p>\n
\u00d6zg\u00fcrl\u00fc\u011f\u00fc elinden al\u0131nan ku\u015flar misali hayatlar. Kafesin i\u00e7erisinde ald\u0131\u011f\u0131 hava, yedi\u011fi yemek, i\u00e7ti\u011fi su. S\u00f6ylesenize bu nas\u0131l bir hayat, nas\u0131l bir ya\u015fam bi\u00e7imi, nas\u0131l bir \u00f6zg\u00fcrl\u00fck, h\u00fcr olmak, en \u00f6nemlisi kendin olmak\/olabilmek\u2026<\/p>\n
Kanat \u00e7\u0131rpt\u0131k\u00e7a can \u00e7eki\u015fmenin, nerede g\u00f6r\u00fclm\u00fc\u015f ya\u015famak ve nefes almak oldu\u011fu.<\/p>\n
Susuyorum!<\/p>\n
En derin susu\u015flar\u0131n k\u00f6\u015felerinde. Ne bir haber, ne bir iz, ne bir nefes. \u0130stemeden susuyorum. Zira k\u0131r\u0131ld\u0131m bir\u00e7ok yerinden, par\u00e7aland\u0131m, da\u011f\u0131ld\u0131m toparlanam\u0131yorum. Ve daha da k\u00f6t\u00fcs\u00fc vakit ilerledik\u00e7e k\u0131r\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131m yerlerden tekrar tekrar k\u0131r\u0131l\u0131yorum. Hi\u00e7 fark\u0131nda olmadan, fark etmeden k\u0131ranlar sayesinde.<\/p>\n
Susuyorum! Susmay\u0131nca onlardan daha fazla k\u0131raca\u011f\u0131ma, yak\u0131p y\u0131kaca\u011f\u0131ma\u2026<\/p>\n
Bilmiyorum, susuyorum i\u015fte.<\/p>\n
\u00c7are midir?<\/p>\n
Bilmiyorum.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Bilmiyorum susarak ge\u00e7er mi \u00e7o\u011fu \u015feyler….<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":65,"featured_media":8649,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[67,53],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7948"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/65"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=7948"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7948\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=7948"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=7948"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=7948"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}