Sanki karanl\u0131klar\u0131n ba\u011fr\u0131ndan kopmu\u015f bir ku\u015f gibi g\u00f6nl\u00fcm. Yalpalanan kanatlar\u0131m, \u00f6n\u00fcn\u00fc g\u00f6rmekte hafif zorlanan bir halim. Kalbimde koskocaman \u00fc\u00e7 d\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm var \u015fimdi. Hangisini \u00e7\u00f6zmeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015fsam inceden d\u00f6n\u00fcyor\u2026 D\u00f6n\u00fcyor\u2026 Tekrar buluyor d\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm\u00fc. S\u0131ms\u0131k\u0131 \u00fc\u00e7 d\u00fc\u011f\u00fcme ba\u011fl\u0131 t\u00fcm sabr\u0131m. \u00c7\u00f6zmeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131m her dakika daha da s\u0131k\u0131yor beni. Sanki karanl\u0131k bir \u00e7ukurun \u00e7\u0131kmaz\u0131na vuruyor demim. Tam da orada kaybolmak istiyorum. O \u00fc\u00e7 d\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm\u00fcn aras\u0131nda. Karanl\u0131klar\u0131n \u00e7ukurundan \u00e7\u0131k\u0131p, ya\u011fmurun topra\u011f\u0131 \u0131slatt\u0131\u011f\u0131 o y\u00fczeyden s\u0131z\u0131p kaybolmak istiyorum. Kimsenin bulmad\u0131\u011f\u0131, en do\u011frunun bekledi\u011fi yerde. \u0130\u015fte tam da orada kaybolmak istiyorum, hava zerrelerinden o anki vuslattan hi\u00e7 kaybolmamak ad\u0131na. Ak\u0131\u015f\u0131na b\u0131rak\u0131lm\u0131\u015f bir hayat\u0131n, zerrelerden deryalara talip \u015fu g\u00f6nl\u00fcm. Kaybolmak. Ufak bir topraktan, ufak bir yan\u0131lg\u0131dan, ufak bir hayalden belki de as\u0131l kendimden kaybolmak. Bir ate\u015fin topra\u011f\u0131 kaybetti\u011fi gibi, suyun ate\u015fi s\u00f6nd\u00fcrd\u00fc\u011f\u00fc gibi, topra\u011f\u0131n suyu gizledi\u011fi gibi \u00fc\u00e7 d\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm var kalbimde. A\u00e7mas\u0131 zaman ister, a\u00e7\u0131lmas\u0131 sab\u0131r ister. Temennim ise deryalar\u0131 ister. Selamet ise yaln\u0131z iman \u015fuurlu teslimiyetten ge\u00e7er. O \u00fc\u00e7 d\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm var ya, g\u00fcn gelecek birbiri ard\u0131nca \u00e7\u00f6z\u00fclecek. Sabr-\u0131 muvaffak k\u0131l\u0131nca da ye\u015fermeyi bekleyen k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck bir \u00e7i\u00e7ek bah\u00e7esine emanet kalacak. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc kaybolmak g\u00fczel bir do\u011fu\u015fu simgeleyecek.<\/p>\n
O zaman hadi \u00fc\u00e7 d\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm kal\u0131n bende. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc aran\u0131zda kaybolmu\u015f bir benli\u011fim var. Hadi \u00fc\u00e7 d\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm kal\u0131n \u015fimdi.<\/p>\n
En do\u011fru yerde.<\/p>\n
En A\u015fk\u2019\u0131 bilmez halde.<\/p>\n
En \u00e7ileli hat\u0131ralarda.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Sanki karanl\u0131klar\u0131n ba\u011fr\u0131ndan kopmu\u015f bir ku\u015f…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":57,"featured_media":8627,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[67,53],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7909"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/57"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=7909"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7909\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=7909"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=7909"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=7909"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}