Annem;<\/p>\n
Nerdesin annem? Ne kadar uzakl\u0131ktas\u0131n bana. Sensiz ge\u00e7mek bilmiyor ac\u0131lar, sensiz t\u00fckenmek bilmiyor yaln\u0131zl\u0131klar. Senden ba\u015fka derdimi dinleyen yokmu\u015f me\u011fer. Buradan anlatsam sana y\u00fcre\u011fimle derdimi b\u00f6yle de anlar m\u0131s\u0131n beni? Anneler hissedermi\u015f ya \u00e7ocuklar\u0131n\u0131n h\u00fczn\u00fcn\u00fc, ac\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 sen de benim ac\u0131m\u0131 hissediyor musun anne?\u00a0 Burada kimse ortak olmuyormu\u015f insan\u0131n ac\u0131s\u0131na. Herkes kendi derdine d\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015f, i\u015fine geleni yap\u0131yorlarm\u0131\u015f insanlar burada. Kimse ama hi\u00e7 kimse b\u0131rak ac\u0131y\u0131 payla\u015fmay\u0131 sevincini bile payla\u015fm\u0131yormu\u015f birbirleriyle. Derman olmasa bile derdimi dinleyecek insan bulam\u0131yorum burada. Hani k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fckken sen k\u0131z\u0131nca arka odaya gidip koltu\u011fun arkas\u0131na saklan\u0131p a\u011flaya a\u011flaya uyuya kal\u0131rd\u0131m ya burada da kendime bir oda buldum. Ne zaman can\u0131m yansa, h\u00fcz\u00fcnlensem, kalbim k\u0131r\u0131lsa bu odaya geliyorum. Burada a\u011flad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131 bir tek bu odan\u0131n duvarlar\u0131 ve odadaki\u00a0 kullan\u0131lmayan eski yatak g\u00f6r\u00fcyor. Bu oday\u0131 buradaki insanlara benzetiyorum anne. Oda buz gibi t\u0131pk\u0131 buradaki insanlar gibi. Daha yakla\u015fmaya ba\u015flad\u0131\u011f\u0131nda \u00fc\u015f\u00fcmeye de ba\u015fl\u0131yorsun. Ama kullan\u0131lmad\u0131\u011f\u0131 i\u00e7in so\u011fuk merak etme sak\u0131n beni ba\u015fka zamanlar \u00fc\u015f\u00fcm\u00fcyorum annecim. Odada bazen saatlerce a\u011fl\u0131yorum, oda a\u011flad\u0131\u011f\u0131ma \u015fahit oluyor her bir zerresine kadar ama bir \u015fey yapm\u0131yor. Ben a\u011flad\u0131k\u00e7a sanki daha da so\u011fuyor. Ama hakk\u0131n\u0131 yememek laz\u0131m bir \u015fey yapmasa da en az\u0131ndan a\u011flayabilmem i\u00e7in bana yer a\u00e7\u0131yor. \u0130nsanlar onu da yapm\u0131yor. Oturup kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda h\u0131\u00e7k\u0131r\u0131klara bo\u011fulsan g\u00f6rmezden gelir seni, belki de ger\u00e7ekten g\u00f6rm\u00fcyorlard\u0131r.<\/p>\n
Yok yok annem sen \u00fcz\u00fclme, ben sana k\u0131yamam odan\u0131n k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck bir de cam\u0131 var buras\u0131 \u00e7ocuk park\u0131na bak\u0131yor a\u011flarken onlar\u0131 izliyorum, izlerken de uyuyakal\u0131p \u00e7ocuklu\u011fumu, seni g\u00f6r\u00fcyorum r\u00fcyamda. R\u00fcyalar\u0131mda senle konu\u015fup dertle\u015fiyorum huzuru yakal\u0131yorum. Sonra bir uyan\u0131yorum, r\u00fcyam\u0131n s\u0131cakl\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan bu buz gibi odada bile \u0131s\u0131nm\u0131\u015f\u0131m. Uyand\u0131ktan sonra r\u00fcyam\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcp deniz kenar\u0131nda bana \u201cAz kald\u0131 k\u0131z\u0131m dayan, kavu\u015fmam\u0131za az kald\u0131\u201d deyi\u015fini hat\u0131rl\u0131yorum ve t\u00fcm g\u00fcc\u00fcm\u00fc toplay\u0131p buradaki insanlar\u0131 temsil eden bu k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck art\u0131k kullan\u0131lmayan ve so\u011fuk odadan \u00e7\u0131k\u0131p insanlar\u0131n aras\u0131na kar\u0131\u015f\u0131yorum yeniden.<\/p>\n
Bu mektubu da bu odadan yaz\u0131yorum sana annem. \u015eu an oda ne kadar so\u011fuksa benim y\u00fcre\u011fimdeki yang\u0131n o kadar s\u0131cak, odan\u0131n so\u011fuklu\u011fu ne kadar \u00fc\u015f\u00fct\u00fcyorsa ellerimi i\u00e7imdeki hasret, h\u00fcz\u00fcn, kalp k\u0131r\u0131kl\u0131klar\u0131 o kadar yak\u0131yor ci\u011ferimi. Mektubu burada bitiriyorum mele\u011fim. \u015eimdi uyuyaca\u011f\u0131m \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc bu odadan \u00e7\u0131kmam laz\u0131m birazdan.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Annem; Nerdesin annem? Ne kadar uzakl\u0131ktas\u0131n…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":58,"featured_media":7877,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[67,53],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7772"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/58"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=7772"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7772\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=7772"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=7772"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=7772"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}