Gecenin epey ilerleyen saatlerinde, kentin olduk\u00e7a y\u00fcksek say\u0131lacak tepesindeki virajl\u0131 yollar\u0131ndan y\u00fcr\u00fcyerek a\u015fa\u011f\u0131ya, evine do\u011fru y\u00fcr\u00fcyordu Hakan. Kafas\u0131 da\u011f\u0131ls\u0131n diye kat\u0131ld\u0131 arkada\u015f\u0131n\u0131n davetine, ger\u00e7ekten de da\u011f\u0131lm\u0131\u015ft\u0131 kafas\u0131, sigara duman\u0131 ve ald\u0131\u011f\u0131 alkol\u00fcn tesiriyle, toplamas\u0131 zaman alacakt\u0131.
\nYa\u011fmur nazl\u0131 nazl\u0131 \u00e7iseliyor, yeni s\u00fcr\u00fclm\u00fc\u015f vernik gibi par\u0131ld\u0131yordu y\u00fcr\u00fcd\u00fc\u011f\u00fc yol. Hem zihnini toparlamaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131yor hem ayakta kalmaya hem de d\u00fcz y\u00fcr\u00fcmeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131yordu.
\nH\u0131\u00e7k\u0131r\u0131k sesini kulaklar\u0131nda hissetti\u011fi an ruhu buz kesti. Beden kontrol\u00fcn\u00fc kaybetmi\u015fti sanki birden a\u011flama iste\u011fi \u00e7\u00f6reklendi i\u00e7ine, siyah beyaz bir filmin duvara yans\u0131t\u0131lm\u0131\u015f g\u00f6rselinde a\u011flayan ki\u015fi annesiydi, izledi\u011fi annesine yard\u0131m edememenin \u00e7aresizli\u011fiyle a\u011fl\u0131yordu aral\u0131 kap\u0131n\u0131n ard\u0131nda. Duydu\u011fu h\u0131\u00e7k\u0131r\u0131\u011f\u0131n ne oldu\u011funu ve nereden geldi\u011fini anlamaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmay\u0131 b\u0131rakm\u0131\u015f, ak\u0131l oyunlar\u0131n\u0131 alt etmeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131yordu, b\u00fct\u00fcn bunlar olurken y\u00fcr\u00fcmeyi s\u00fcrd\u00fcrm\u00fc\u015f belli ki, art\u0131k h\u0131\u00e7k\u0131r\u0131klar\u0131 daha da net duyuyordu. Mazi esaretinden kurtulup kendine geldi\u011finde u\u00e7urum say\u0131labilecek bir yerde oldu\u011funu fark etti, ye\u015fil ya\u011fmurluklu biri meydan okumaya mecali kalmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 itiraf edercesine g\u00fc\u00e7s\u00fczce duruyordu ayakta.
\n\u00d6nsezileri \u00e7ok g\u00fc\u00e7l\u00fc olan Hakan bir m\u00fcddet kad\u0131n\u0131 izledikten sonra,
\n– \u00d6l\u00fcnce ge\u00e7ecek mi? diye sordu. \u00d6yle irkilmi\u015fti ki neredeyse kay\u0131p d\u00fc\u015fecekti. Sesin geldi\u011fi yere bak\u0131nca olduk\u00e7a rahat, bir o kadar da \u00e7ak\u0131rkeyif adam\u0131 g\u00f6rd\u00fc, kollar\u0131n\u0131 koynunda birle\u015ftirmi\u015f, boynunu hafif\u00e7e yana d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcrm\u00fc\u015f, kafas\u0131nda \u0130talyan usul\u00fc kasket a\u011fz\u0131nda sigara ve duda\u011f\u0131nda aptal bir tebess\u00fcmle.
\n– Korkudan \u00f6lecektim az kals\u0131n!
\n– Fena m\u0131? \u0130\u015fini kolayla\u015ft\u0131rm\u0131\u015f olacakt\u0131m.
\nSezgilerinde yan\u0131lmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 anlam\u0131\u015f olman\u0131n verdi\u011fi rahatl\u0131k vard\u0131 \u015fimdi. Korkudan \u00f6lecektim demesi, \u00f6lmekten korkman\u0131n itiraf\u0131yd\u0131, belli ki kafas\u0131 kar\u0131\u015f\u0131kt\u0131. Bir s\u00fcre sessizlikten sonra elini kad\u0131na do\u011fru uzatt\u0131 Hakan,
\n– Oyalanmaya gerek yok meslekta\u015f\u0131m, hadi gidelim art\u0131k, dedi.
\n– Ne meslekta\u015f\u0131?!
\nHi\u00e7 cevap vermeden y\u00fcr\u00fcd\u00fc Hakan, kad\u0131n zaten korku ve karars\u0131zl\u0131k ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan durumu f\u0131rsata \u00e7evirmek istercesine ve tabi \u00e7aresizce pe\u015finden y\u00fcr\u00fcmeye ba\u015flad\u0131, kendini bile ikna edemeyecek g\u00fcven ve merak\u0131yla. Gidelim dedi ama nereye gidece\u011fini s\u00f6ylememi\u015fti, yoku\u015fun bitti\u011fi yerdeki geni\u015f d\u00fczl\u00fck b\u00fcy\u00fck bir meydana \u00e7\u0131k\u0131yordu. Oyun park\u0131 ve banklar vard\u0131 burada, g\u00f6z\u00fcne kestirdi\u011fi bir banka oturdu Hakan, sigaras\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7\u0131kart\u0131p yakt\u0131, paketi bankta yan\u0131 ba\u015f\u0131na b\u0131rakt\u0131. \u0130\u00e7indeki merak y\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131n\u0131n verdi\u011fi a\u011f\u0131rl\u0131kla ayaklar\u0131n\u0131 s\u00fcr\u00fcye s\u00fcr\u00fcye yan\u0131na geldi ve kendisini banka b\u0131rakt\u0131 kad\u0131n.
\n– Ad\u0131m Hakan, senin ad\u0131n ne?
\n– Neden meslekta\u015f\u0131m dedin?! \u015eey! Ebrar, ad\u0131m Ebrar.
\n– H\u0131\u0131mm! Do\u011fru s\u00f6zl\u00fcler ve iyiler\u2026
\n– Seni oraya g\u00f6t\u00fcren \u015fey pi\u015fmanl\u0131klar\u0131n m\u0131yd\u0131 Ebrar?
\n– Evet.
\n– Ne tuhaf de\u011fil mi? Ke\u015fke anne karn\u0131ndan hi\u00e7 \u00e7\u0131kmasam diye d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fc\u011f\u00fc i\u00e7in a\u011flad\u0131\u011f\u0131na inan\u0131l\u0131r bebeklerin, oras\u0131 onlar\u0131n d\u00fcnyas\u0131 ve oradan \u00e7\u0131kmay\u0131 \u00f6lmek sand\u0131klar\u0131 i\u00e7in a\u011flar ve yine ba\u015fka bir pi\u015fmanl\u0131kla devam eder yolculuk, \u201cKe\u015fke toprak olarak yarat\u0131lsayd\u0131m.\u201d Pi\u015fmanl\u0131k, insano\u011flunun genetik mesle\u011fidir, bu y\u00fczden meslekta\u015f\u0131z hepimiz. \u00d6\u011frenci misin?
\n– Evet, Edebiyat Fak\u00fcltesi son s\u0131n\u0131f ama bu ya\u015f\u0131mda bile t\u00fckenmi\u015f hissediyorum kendimi, bu y\u00fczden kenar\u0131ndayd\u0131m u\u00e7urumun. Kurtulu\u015f olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 ben de biliyorum elbette, amac\u0131m ka\u00e7makt\u0131 asl\u0131nda yakalanmayaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 zannedercesine ka\u00e7mak.
\n– Ka\u00e7amazs\u0131n, bazen imk\u00e2nlar bu kadard\u0131r, kabul etmek zorundas\u0131n belki de \u00f6yle olmak zorundad\u0131r bilemezsin. Hayat, \u00e7atlak bir testideki sudur, i\u00e7sen de bitecek i\u00e7mesen de. Testi demi\u015fken, bilir misin o hik\u00e2yeyi?
\n– !
\nS\u0131r\u0131k ucundan sarkan iplere ba\u011flanm\u0131\u015f toprak testilerle su ta\u015f\u0131rm\u0131\u015f evine her g\u00fcn dervi\u015f, testinin birinin \u00e7atlakl\u0131\u011f\u0131na ald\u0131r\u0131\u015f etmeden, \u00e7ok i\u00e7erlermi\u015f \u00e7atlak testi, i\u015fimi hakk\u0131yla yapam\u0131yorum, sa\u011flam olan testinin ta\u015f\u0131d\u0131\u011f\u0131 suyun ancak yar\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 ta\u015f\u0131yorum diye, bir g\u00fcn dile gelip sahibine dert yanm\u0131\u015f, \u201cBen i\u015fe yaram\u0131yorum.\u201d demi\u015f. Bilge sahip hemen susturmu\u015f testiyi, \u201cBen senin \u00e7atlak oldu\u011funu bilmiyor muyum san\u0131yorsun? Y\u00fcr\u00fcd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm\u00fcz yol boyunca senin taraf\u0131na denk gelen yerlere \u00e7i\u00e7ek tohumlar\u0131 serptim, onlar senden s\u0131zan sular sayesinde b\u00fcy\u00fcd\u00fcler ve ben onlardan ara ara toplay\u0131p odam\u0131 ve kalbimi \u015fenlendiriyorum\u2026\u201d
\n– Hi\u00e7 bu a\u00e7\u0131dan bakmam\u0131\u015ft\u0131m.<\/p>\n
Yava\u015f\u00e7a aya\u011fa kalkt\u0131 Hakan, hemen ard\u0131ndan da Ebrar kalkm\u0131\u015ft\u0131, y\u00fcr\u00fcmeye devam edeceklerdi, birden durdu ve tekrar banka y\u00f6neldi Hakan, pi\u015fmanl\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131 unutmu\u015fum diyerek ald\u0131 sigara paketini ve yakt\u0131 bir sigara daha.
\n– Bana neden ikram etmediniz!
\n– Sigara i\u00e7iyor olsayd\u0131n isterdin, ya da kendin al\u0131rd\u0131n, almad\u0131n pi\u015fmans\u0131n, ikram etsem benim vesilemle\u00a0sigaraya ba\u015flad\u0131\u011f\u0131n i\u00e7in belki g\u00fcn\u00fcn birinde ben pi\u015fmanl\u0131k ya\u015fard\u0131m.
\nEpey yol alm\u0131\u015f, sohbet de koyula\u015fm\u0131\u015ft\u0131 araba farlar\u0131 karanl\u0131kta y\u00fcr\u00fcd\u00fckleri yolu ayd\u0131nlatm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. I\u015f\u0131k yo\u011funlu\u011fu g\u00f6zlerini yoruyor dikkatlerini da\u011f\u0131t\u0131yordu. Nas\u0131l oldu\u011funu anlamaya f\u0131rsat bulamadan kav\u015fakta ref\u00fcje \u00e7arpan bir otomobil h\u0131zla \u00fczerlerine gelmi\u015f, Hakan son bir hamleyle Ebrar\u2019\u0131 iterek uzakla\u015ft\u0131rm\u0131\u015ft\u0131 ama kendisi i\u00e7in art\u0131k \u00e7ok ge\u00e7ti. \u015ea\u015fk\u0131nl\u0131k, korku ve g\u00f6zya\u015flar\u0131yla araban\u0131n hemen yan\u0131 ba\u015f\u0131nda boylu boyunca uzanan Hakan\u2019\u0131n yan\u0131na yakla\u015f\u0131nca m\u0131r\u0131lt\u0131lar\u0131n\u0131 anlamak i\u00e7in e\u011fildi,
\n– Her insan sanat\u00e7\u0131d\u0131r, az ya da \u00e7ok: pi\u015fmanl\u0131k sanat\u00e7\u0131s\u0131.
\nYol boyunca yapt\u0131klar\u0131 koyu muhabbet ve yola do\u011fru akan koyu k\u0131rm\u0131z\u0131 kan gecenin koyu karanl\u0131\u011f\u0131nda bo\u011fuluyordu.
\n– KE\u015eKE H\u0130\u00c7 KAR\u015eILA\u015eMASAYDIK HAKAAAANN!
\nHayk\u0131r\u0131\u015f\u0131nda bile pi\u015fmanl\u0131k yat\u0131yordu. Ke\u015fke, \u00f6znesi olmu\u015ftu lisan\u0131n\u0131n.<\/p>\n
Oturdu\u011fu bank\u0131n hemen arkas\u0131ndaki yoldan gelen ac\u0131 fren sesi kendine getirmi\u015fti. Arkas\u0131na bile bakamad\u0131 korkudan. Y\u0131llar \u00f6nce ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131 an\u0131lara dalm\u0131\u015ft\u0131, ne gariptir ki onu uyand\u0131ran yine ac\u0131 bir fren sesi olmu\u015ftu. Kafas\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7evirip bakmak istemedi, ya bir kaza olmu\u015fsa ya araban\u0131n alt\u0131nda biri kalm\u0131\u015fsa ya Hakan\u2019la g\u00f6z g\u00f6ze gelirse tekrar!
\n– \u0130yice sa\u00e7malad\u0131m\u2026 diye m\u0131r\u0131ldand\u0131, o esnada telefonu \u00e7ald\u0131, telefondaki ki\u015fi yay\u0131nevi sahibi Hatun Han\u0131m\u2019d\u0131,
\n– \u0130yi g\u00fcnler, Prof. Dr. Ebrar Han\u0131m\u2019la m\u0131 g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015f\u00fcyorum?
\n– Buyurun benim!
\n– De\u011ferli hocam, yay\u0131nevinden ar\u0131yorum, yeni yay\u0131n d\u00f6nemi i\u00e7in \u00f6n \u00e7al\u0131\u015fma yap\u0131yoruz, uzun zamand\u0131r bekletti\u011finiz kitab\u0131n\u0131z\u0131n ismine karar verdiniz mi? Tan\u0131t\u0131ma d\u00e2hil edelim.
\nK\u0131sa say\u0131lmayacak bir s\u00fcre duraksad\u0131, daha fazla bekletmeye hakk\u0131 olmayaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnerek cevap verdi.
\n– SEVG\u0130L\u0130 MESLEKTA\u015eIM.
\n– !?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Gecenin epey ilerleyen saatlerinde, kentin olduk\u00e7a…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":32,"featured_media":7561,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[69,53],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7560"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/32"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=7560"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7560\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=7560"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=7560"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=7560"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}