Bir sonbahar ak\u015fam\u0131 geldi\u011fin vakit vard\u0131 ya\u2026 Seni o gelen kimli\u011finle kabul etmi\u015f, nas\u0131l da ayn\u0131 ben deyip, benden gitmemen i\u00e7in dualar etmi\u015ftim. Sonbahar\u0131n r\u00fczg\u00e2r\u0131nda beraber yol almay\u0131, k\u0131\u015f\u0131n so\u011fu\u011funda benimle olman\u0131, ilkbahar\u0131n \u00e7i\u00e7eklerini beraber selamlamay\u0131, yaz\u0131n g\u00fcne\u015fine beraber uyanmay\u0131,\u00a0 ne \u00e7ok istemi\u015ftim.<\/p>\n
Nas\u0131l da benimdin. Benden hi\u00e7 gitmeyecek bir sene \u00e2\u015f\u0131k bir bendim. G\u00fcld\u00fc\u011f\u00fcne g\u00fcl\u00fcyor, a\u011flad\u0131\u011f\u0131na a\u011flayam\u0131yordum yan\u0131nda\u2026 G\u00fc\u00e7l\u00fc olmal\u0131y\u0131z diyordum. Sevgi kurtaracak her \u015feyi diyordum. Dirayet et diyordum. Sonra sen k\u00f6\u015feyi d\u00f6n\u00fcyordun. Yan\u0131ndayken e\u015flik edemedi\u011fim g\u00f6zya\u015flar\u0131na sen k\u00f6\u015feyi d\u00f6nd\u00fckten sonra, kaba olacak belki tabiri, b\u00f6\u011f\u00fcre b\u00f6\u011f\u00fcre a\u011fl\u0131yordum. Senin can\u0131n yansa, benim kalbim yerle bir olurdu. K\u0131yamazd\u0131m kalbine, can\u0131na kurban olurdum.<\/p>\n
Kalbimin ayd\u0131nl\u0131\u011f\u0131yd\u0131n. Yok o hayatta yapmaz, k\u0131yamaz bana dedi\u011fimdin. Vazge\u00e7mek kelimesi senin i\u00e7in kullan\u0131lmaz bir kelimeydi. Gidemezdin, gidemezdim\u2026<\/p>\n
Ama ben seni, bir k\u0131\u015f ak\u015fam\u0131 do\u011fum g\u00fcn\u00fcne teslim ettim. Bir Sal\u0131 sabah\u0131 yana yana akan g\u00f6zya\u015flar\u0131m\u0131n sebebiydin, o nas\u0131l da benimdin dedi\u011fim adam ba\u015fkas\u0131ndayd\u0131. O yapmaz, k\u0131yamaz dedi\u011fim adam yapt\u0131 ve k\u0131yd\u0131 bana. Kalbimi karanl\u0131\u011fa teslim edip gitmeyi nas\u0131l da ba\u015fard\u0131n? Nas\u0131l gittin? Nas\u0131l gitmekti bu?<\/p>\n
K\u0131\u015f\u0131n so\u011fu\u011funda benim olman\u0131 dilerken, nas\u0131l da kara bir k\u0131\u015fa teslim ettin beni. Geldi\u011fin sonbahar ak\u015fam\u0131na hi\u00e7 yak\u0131\u015ft\u0131 m\u0131 bu gitmek?..<\/p>\n
\u015eimdi seni neyselere s\u0131\u011fd\u0131rd\u0131m.<\/p>\n
Ad\u0131 var olan, kendini bilmez bir neyselerdesin \u015fimdi.<\/p>\n
Neyse; buraya kadarm\u0131\u015f deyip susmams\u0131n,<\/p>\n
Neyse; buraya kadarm\u0131\u015f dedi\u011fimsin.<\/p>\n
Neyse; ucuz atlatm\u0131\u015f\u0131ma s\u0131\u011f\u0131nan\u0131m \u015fimdi\u2026<\/p>\n
Avutmak var \u015fimdi kalbimi, sevgimi, akl\u0131m\u0131\u2026<\/p>\n
C\u00fcmleler var dudaklar\u0131mda, f\u0131s\u0131l f\u0131s\u0131l f\u0131s\u0131ld\u0131yorum. Kimse duymuyor, bazen ben bile duyam\u0131yorum kendimi, f\u0131s\u0131ldad\u0131\u011f\u0131m c\u00fcmleler yak\u0131yor y\u00fcre\u011fimi.<\/p>\n
Bir tek duyan var; ona inan\u0131yorum.<\/p>\n
O beni b\u00f6yle kalakald\u0131rmaz, vard\u0131r senin i\u00e7in bir bildi\u011fi.<\/p>\n
Ve ben seni O\u2019na havale ettim.<\/p>\n
Nas\u0131l ac\u0131 b\u0131rakt\u0131ysan, b\u0131rakt\u0131\u011f\u0131n ac\u0131dan \u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fc mutlu olamayas\u0131n eski sevgili.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Bir sonbahar ak\u015fam\u0131 geldi\u011fin vakit vard\u0131…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":19,"featured_media":7534,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[67,53],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7483"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/19"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=7483"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7483\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=7483"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=7483"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=7483"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}