{"id":7458,"date":"2017-12-01T23:43:33","date_gmt":"2017-12-01T21:43:33","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/kadrandergi.com.tr\/?p=7458"},"modified":"2017-12-01T23:43:33","modified_gmt":"2017-12-01T21:43:33","slug":"dusunuyorum-oyleyse-yokum","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/?p=7458","title":{"rendered":"D\u00dc\u015e\u00dcN\u00dcYORUM, \u00d6YLEYSE YOKUM"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style=\"font-size: 11.0pt;\">Uyand\u0131m, size g\u00fcnayd\u0131n. Bana hi\u00e7 g\u00fcn&#8217;aymad\u0131. Zaten ben de ayd\u0131nl\u0131\u011f\u0131 beklemekten \u00e7oooktan cayd\u0131m.<br \/>\nbug\u00fcn yeni kararlar ald\u0131m. Siz gibi, ama sizinkilerden de\u011fil. Ben sizin o &#8216;yeni bir hayat kurmal\u0131y\u0131m&#8217; d\u00f6nemlerinizi uzun s\u00fcre \u00f6nce a\u015ft\u0131m. hayal kurmaktan vazge\u00e7ip hayal y\u0131kma merasimlerine ba\u015fl\u0131yorum.<br \/>\nKendim i\u00e7in koydu\u011fum t\u00fcm kurallar\u0131m\u0131 tek tek tavana ast\u0131m. \u015eimdi, hi\u00e7 umursam\u0131yorum.<br \/>\n&#8216;Sevmek&#8217; kelimesini l\u00fcgat\u0131m\u0131n ba\u015fk\u00f6\u015fesinden kald\u0131r\u0131p, yerine &#8216;gitmek&#8217; eylemini koydum. Art\u0131k ne yaparsan\u0131z yap\u0131n, gidiyorum.<br \/>\nAz \u00f6nce iyi niyetlerimle vedala\u015ft\u0131m, hi\u00e7 zor olmad\u0131. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc vedalara \u00fcz\u00fclmeyi de, en son babam\u0131n beni hi\u00e7 sevmeyen o g\u00f6zlerinde b\u0131rakt\u0131m.<br \/>\nHeveslerimden de kurtulmay\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcyorum. U\u011fruna sava\u015facak bir \u015fey kalmad\u0131ysa, silahlar yerine kald\u0131r\u0131l\u0131r. Zaten ben de sava\u015flar\u0131n bir kazanan\u0131 olabilece\u011fine hi\u00e7 inanm\u0131yorum.<br \/>\nTabular\u0131m\u0131 y\u0131kt\u0131m, fobilerimin tek tek \u00fcst\u00fcne gidiyorum. En sevdi\u011fim insanlar\u0131 kaybettikten sonra, hi\u00e7bir \u015feyden korkmuyorum.<br \/>\nUmutlar\u0131m\u0131 da tabuta koyup topra\u011f\u0131n alt\u0131na g\u00f6nderdim, umut etmek yerine art\u0131k vazge\u00e7iyorum.<br \/>\nHo\u015fg\u00f6r\u00fcm\u00fc \u00e7\u00f6pe att\u0131m, empatiyi camdan a\u015fa\u011f\u0131 sallad\u0131m, vicdan\u0131m\u0131n sesini k\u0131s\u0131p ses tu\u015funu tornavidayla yerinden \u00e7\u0131kard\u0131m. Anlayaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131z art\u0131k lanet, \u00e7ekilmez bir kad\u0131n oldum. \u00d6nemli de\u011fil. Zaten ben art\u0131k sevilmeyi bile istemiyorum.<br \/>\nBi&#8217; tek gece uykular\u0131mdan \u00f6nce &#8216;tavana bak\u0131p d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnmek&#8217; eylemini hayat\u0131mdan \u00e7\u0131karam\u0131yorum. Bu y\u00fczden, irademe biraz k\u0131zg\u0131n\u0131m.<br \/>\n\u015eimdi, d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnmek zorunda kald\u0131\u011f\u0131m\/b\u0131rak\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131m baz\u0131 \u015feylere istinaden sizin kuramlar\u0131n\u0131za da kar\u015f\u0131 \u00e7\u0131k\u0131yorum. Kusura bakma Descartes, d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcyorum \u00f6yleyse YOKUM.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Uyand\u0131m, size g\u00fcnayd\u0131n. Bana hi\u00e7 g\u00fcn&#8217;aymad\u0131&#8230;.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":22,"featured_media":7503,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[67,53],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7458"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/22"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=7458"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7458\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=7458"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=7458"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=7458"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}