D\u00f6rt mevsim yar\u0131\u015f h\u00e2lindeyken bir g\u00fcn k\u0131\u015f gelir \u00e7alar kap\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 insan\u0131n. Ama di\u011fer k\u0131\u015flara benzemez hi\u00e7. Kuru so\u011fu\u011fu ve \u015fiddetli esen r\u00fczg\u00e2r\u0131yla kalbini dondurur bir anda. Ne ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131n fark\u0131na varamaz idrak edemez garip insano\u011flu. Bahar\u0131 bekler dururken, i\u00e7inde kelebekler u\u00e7u\u015facak zannederken, nereden gelmi\u015fti bu davetsiz misafir? Ah insan, d\u00fcnyada \u00fc\u00e7 be\u015f g\u00fcnl\u00fck bir sayfa doldurup o masadan bir g\u00fcn aya\u011fa kalkaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 bildi\u011fi h\u00e2lde oturur durur.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ve umutlar\u0131n en sevdi\u011fi g\u00fcne yar\u0131nlara g\u00fcvenerek bir s\u00fcr\u00fc d\u00fcnya tela\u015f\u0131 ile uyku vakti gelir. \u00d6l\u00fcm hakikatinin yar\u0131s\u0131… Saatler ge\u00e7er, on dakikalar, \u00e7eyrek ge\u00e7eler ve bu\u00e7uklar…Yelkovan ve akrebin birbirini kovalama sesleri duyulur. T\u00fcm insanl\u0131k derin bir uykuya dalar nihayetinde. \u0130\u015fte o anda k\u0131\u015f art\u0131k vakit tamam diyerek \u00e7alar t\u00fcm zilleri uyand\u0131r\u0131r o tatl\u0131 uykudan insan\u0131.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Uyand\u0131r\u0131r dedik ama ya uyand\u0131rmad\u0131ysa? \u0130\u015fte k\u0131\u015f \u00f6yle bir \u015fiddetli gelmi\u015ftir ki son kez kurulan hayaller, yar\u0131nlara yap\u0131lan planlar, t\u00fcm kavu\u015fmalar o anda son bulmu\u015f yerini bir ba\u015fka bahara da b\u0131rakmam\u0131\u015ft\u0131r. Uyananlar zaman\u0131 durdurmak bu zorlu\u011fu a\u015fmak istemi\u015f fakat k\u0131\u015f\u0131n b\u0131rakt\u0131\u011f\u0131 y\u0131k\u0131mda uyanmayanlar\u0131n kederiyle kar\u015f\u0131 kar\u015f\u0131ya kalm\u0131\u015ft\u0131r. A\u011flay\u0131\u015flar, ba\u011f\u0131r\u0131\u015flar d\u00f6rt bir yandan yard\u0131mlar istenmi\u015f, a\u00e7\u0131lmayan telefonlarla, duyulmayan seslerle birlikte enkaz y\u0131\u011f\u0131nlar\u0131n\u0131n alt\u0131nda kalm\u0131\u015ft\u0131r insan\u0131n y\u00fcre\u011fi. Nas\u0131l bir ac\u0131d\u0131r ki bu tarif dahi edilemez? Nas\u0131l bir yang\u0131nd\u0131r ki bu bir t\u00fcrl\u00fc s\u00f6nmek bilmez. Nas\u0131l bir k\u0131\u015f ki bu yar\u0131nlardaki bahar\u0131 m\u00fcjdelemez. Biraz vakit ge\u00e7er birka\u00e7 ses duyulur yard\u0131m eli uzan\u0131r beraber sar\u0131l\u0131r yaralar. Ama \u00e7o\u011fu yara kapanmayacak \u015fiddette kanamaya devam eder. Ve ne zaman duracak hi\u00e7 bilinmez.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
K\u0131\u015f birka\u00e7 g\u00fcn devam eder sonra hi\u00e7bir m\u00fcjde vermeden \u00f6ylece \u00e7ekip gider. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc o da biliyordur ki bahar gelse de art\u0131k hi\u00e7bir \u015fey eskisi gibi olmayacakt\u0131r. Yar\u0131m kalan hayaller, umutla beklenen o kavu\u015fmalar hepsi ama hepsi yar\u0131m kalm\u0131\u015ft\u0131r. Tam da b\u00f6yle derken hen\u00fcz kald\u0131r\u0131lmam\u0131\u015f bir enkaz\u0131n ortas\u0131nda a\u00e7an bir \u00e7i\u00e7ek g\u00f6r\u00fcr insano\u011flu. Kalbi ye\u015ferir birden, i\u00e7inde a\u00e7maya yatk\u0131n fidanlar\u0131 sulamaya ba\u015flar o umutla. O ta\u015f y\u0131\u011f\u0131nlar\u0131n\u0131n aras\u0131nda her \u015feyimi kaybettim diye a\u011flad\u0131\u011f\u0131 anda bir \u00e7i\u00e7ek umut oluvermi\u015ftir ona.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ac\u0131lar\u0131n\u0131 hi\u00e7 unutmayaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 bilir ve ayn\u0131 sahneyi g\u00f6z \u00f6n\u00fcne getirip say\u0131s\u0131z kez izler. \u00d6ncelerde asla kabullenemedi\u011fi hayat\u0131na g\u00f6zya\u015flar\u0131 i\u00e7inde veda eder.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Enkaz ortas\u0131ndaki \u00e7i\u00e7e\u011fe tak\u0131l\u0131r g\u00f6zleri sonra insan\u0131n. Belki bedeni de\u011fil ama onun da y\u00fcre\u011fi enkaz alt\u0131nda kalm\u0131\u015ft\u0131r. \u00c7i\u00e7ekle \u00f6zde\u015fle\u015fir o an. Bir g\u00fcn kalbinin \u00e7i\u00e7ek a\u00e7aca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 umut ederek ya\u015famaya devam eder. Evet belki eskisi gibi ne\u015feli bir \u015fekilde bahar\u0131 beklemeyecek, k\u0131\u015f her zaman korkutacakt\u0131r onu ama bilir ki art\u0131k onun da kalbinin kap\u0131lar\u0131 k\u0131\u015fa \u00e7ok daha dayan\u0131kl\u0131d\u0131r. Yeniden ba\u015flayaca\u011f\u0131m diyerek aya\u011fa kalkar her \u015feye en ba\u015ftan yeniden. Duaya s\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131r, bir tek Allah\u2019tan yard\u0131m ister. Enkaz alt\u0131nda da kalm\u0131\u015f olsa kalbi kabul eder \u015fu ger\u00e7e\u011fi, \u201cAllah yeniden ba\u015flayanlar\u0131n yard\u0131mc\u0131s\u0131d\u0131r.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
D\u00f6rt mevsim yar\u0131\u015f h\u00e2lindeyken bir g\u00fcn…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":127,"featured_media":12346,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[67,53],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11857"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/127"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=11857"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11857\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":12347,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11857\/revisions\/12347"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/12346"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=11857"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=11857"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=11857"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}