Kar taneleri umars\u0131zca birbirine \u00e7arpmadan, \u00e7arp\u0131\u015fmadan u\u00e7u\u015fuyorken radyodan gelen \u201cGide gide bir s\u00f6\u011f\u00fcde dayand\u0131m\u201d t\u00fcrk\u00fcs\u00fc ile eskilere, g\u00fczel g\u00fcnlere gidiyorum. Annemin sesi \u00e7\u0131nl\u0131yor kulaklar\u0131mda. \u201cBen o y\u00e2re da\u011flar kadar g\u00fcvendim. G\u00fcvendi\u011fim dallar elime geldi. Elime geldi\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Almanya\u2019dan gelen upuzun \u00e7ift kaset\u00e7alarl\u0131 bir teybimiz vard\u0131. Arada s\u0131rada babam\u0131n \u00e7ok sevdi\u011fi Bar\u0131\u015f Man\u00e7o kasetlerini \u00e7alard\u0131k. Bununla birlikte g\u00fcn boyu radyomuz a\u00e7\u0131k kal\u0131r, i\u00e7imiz d\u0131\u015f\u0131m\u0131z \u201cT\u00fcrk\u00fc T\u00fcrk\u00fc T\u00fcrkiyem\u201d olurdu. Annem, merdaneliden \u00e7\u0131kan \u00e7ama\u015f\u0131rlar\u0131 durularken banyodaki ekoyu ka\u00e7\u0131rmaz, radyoda \u00e7alan yan\u0131k t\u00fcrk\u00fclere e\u015flik ederdi. Sesi g\u00fczeldi ya da bana g\u00fczel gelirdi\u2026 Adeta y\u00fcre\u011finden diline d\u00f6kemedi\u011fi t\u00fcm ac\u0131lar\u0131n\u0131 t\u00fcrk\u00fclere \u00fcfler, nefesi daral\u0131ncaya kadar a\u011flard\u0131. Sonra da bir yudum oksijen i\u00e7in pencereye ko\u015fard\u0131.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Az \u00f6nce bo\u011fulurcas\u0131na a\u011flayan kad\u0131n o de\u011filmi\u015f gibi, t\u00e2 kar\u015f\u0131 mahalledeki kom\u015fuya laf atar, uzaktan uza\u011fa muhabbet ederdi. Bu defa ne\u015feyle att\u0131\u011f\u0131 kahkahalar, iki mahalleyi birden \u00e7\u0131nlat\u0131rd\u0131. B\u00f6yle \u00e7abuk duygu ge\u00e7i\u015flerini nas\u0131l ba\u015far\u0131yordu h\u00e2l\u00e2 anlam\u0131yorum. Ger\u00e7i kom\u015fularla t\u00fcm ileti\u015fimimiz girip \u00e7\u0131karken selam vermekten \u00f6teye gitmemi\u015fken, bu gibi terap\u00f6tik h\u00e2lleri anlamam da imk\u00e2ns\u0131z g\u00f6z\u00fck\u00fcyor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
B\u00fct\u00fcn anneler ev han\u0131m\u0131yd\u0131, evinin han\u0131m\u0131yd\u0131 ben k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fckken. Sabahleyin e\u015flerini i\u015fe u\u011furlar u\u011furlamaz merdivenler s\u00fcp\u00fcr\u00fcle s\u00fcp\u00fcr\u00fcle eve girilirdi. Zaten k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck olan evlerimiz radyoda \u00e7alan t\u00fcrk\u00fcler e\u015fli\u011finde kolayca temizlenirdi. O zamanlar e\u015fyalar insanlara hizmet ederdi, insanlar e\u015fyalara de\u011fil. Haz\u0131r g\u0131da t\u00fcketmeyi de bilmezdik biz. Kocalar ve okullu \u00e7ocuklar i\u00e7in \u00f6\u011fle yeme\u011fi haz\u0131r edilir, gelemeyeceklerse yanlar\u0131na sefer taslar\u0131 konurdu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Dertler t\u00fcrl\u00fc t\u00fcrl\u00fc de\u011fildi eskiden. Kaynana, kaynata, elti, g\u00f6r\u00fcmce derdi olurdu. Hastal\u0131k varsa konu kom\u015fu yeme\u011fini al\u0131r, yard\u0131ma yeti\u015fir, yaralar\u0131 sarard\u0131. Yokluksa herkeste vard\u0131. Yoksulluk ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 anlamazd\u0131k biz.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
En sad\u0131k dost kahveye gelirdi. Evde gen\u00e7 k\u0131z varsa kahve ona pi\u015firtilir, o mutfaktayken gizli gizli dertle\u015filirdi. Muhakkak \u201cBenimkisini kaynat yavrucu\u011fum mideme dokunmas\u0131n. Aman k\u00f6p\u00fck olmasa da olur, kahvesi iyi \u00f6\u011f\u00fc\u015fs\u00fcn!\u201d denirdi. K\u0131zca\u011f\u0131z kahveyi kaynat\u0131rken bizimkiler de muhabbeti kaynatm\u0131\u015f olurdu. Koronalar, depremler, seller bu kadar deh\u015fet verici de\u011fildi. O y\u00fczden muhabbetleri baldan tatl\u0131 ve derindi. Dantel \u00f6rt\u00fclerle, g\u00fcm\u00fc\u015f tepside kahvenin yan\u0131na g\u00fcll\u00fc lokum gelirdi. K\u0131rk y\u0131l hat\u0131r\u0131 olan kahveler b\u00fcy\u00fck bir keyifle i\u00e7ilir, neyse haller o \u00e7\u0131ks\u0131n fallar diye bo\u015falan fincanlar ters \u00e7evrilirdi. So\u011fuyana dek \u00fczerinde alyans y\u00fcz\u00fck bekletilirdi. \u00c7\u00f6ken telve ile y\u00fcrekler kabart\u0131l\u0131r, \u00fc\u00e7 vakte kadar ger\u00e7ekle\u015fecek muradlar s\u00f6ylenirdi. Mutlu olmak da, mutlu etmek de iyi bilinirdi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Kahvelerin ard\u0131ndan g\u00fcn \u201cHadi \u00e7oban hamuru karal\u0131m!\u201d teklifiyle devam ederdi. Evin k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck \u00e7ocu\u011fu birka\u00e7 kom\u015fuyu daha \u00e7a\u011f\u0131rmas\u0131 i\u00e7in yollan\u0131r, elinin i\u015fini alan gelirdi. \u00c7oban hamuru; m\u0131s\u0131r unu ile kar\u0131l\u0131rd\u0131. Ka\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131 \u00f6nce tereya\u011f\u0131na bat\u0131r\u0131p ard\u0131ndan hamurdan bir ka\u015f\u0131k alarak tepsiye \u00e7i\u00e7ek gibi dizilirdi. \u00dczerine yine tereya\u011f\u0131 ve arzuya g\u00f6re pekmez eklenir bir g\u00fczel afiyetle yenirdi. \u00c7aylar demlenir, k\u0131s\u0131rlar yap\u0131l\u0131r yan\u0131na tur\u015fular \u00e7\u0131kar\u0131l\u0131r evde ne varsa sofraya dizilirdi. Evde olmayanlar da kom\u015fulardan tedarik edilirdi. Yemek yer, birbirimizi yemeye ihtiya\u00e7 duymazd\u0131k. G\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fcz de karn\u0131m\u0131z da tok dururdu bizim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Bazen \u00e7ingene boh\u00e7ac\u0131lar gelir, boh\u00e7alar\u0131n\u0131 d\u00f6kerler, \u00e7okta iyi olmayan cicilerini sergilerlerdi. Onlardan al\u0131nan kuma\u015f ve nevresimler ilk y\u0131kamada bir metre \u00e7ekerdi. Boh\u00e7ac\u0131lar\u0131n ikna ve tasvir yeteneklerine hayrand\u0131m. \u00d6yle ki:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201c\u0130\u015fte y\u00fcz\u00fcm iki g\u00f6z\u00fcm, kelem (lahana) g\u00f6beklim adi be al\u0131veresin \u015fu g\u00fczelim \u00e7ar\u015faflardan!\u201d derlerdi. Satabilmek i\u00e7in ne yapar eder; s\u00f6z\u00fc allar pullar koca boh\u00e7ay\u0131 bo\u015falt\u0131r, giderlerdi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ah kelem g\u00f6beklilerim! K\u0131rkl\u0131 kilolarda gelin olup, iki \u00e7ocuk sonras\u0131 a\u011f\u0131rl\u0131\u011f\u0131 seksenlere vuran evvel zaman g\u00fczellerim. Mahallemizin kat kat g\u00f6bekli bir o kadar da mutlu kad\u0131nlar\u0131\u2026 \u015eimdilerde ne \u00e7ok \u00f6zl\u00fcyorum sizleri. Eskiler mi g\u00fczeldi? Eskiden mi g\u00fczeldik demeyece\u011fim. Bug\u00fcn\u00fcn, yar\u0131n i\u00e7in d\u00fcn oldu\u011funu d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcnce; ya\u015farken fark\u0131na bile varmad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z g\u00fczellikleri ge\u00e7mi\u015f diye ard\u0131m\u0131zda b\u0131rakt\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 g\u00f6r\u00fcyorum. Muntazam olan\u0131 ge\u00e7mi\u015f ve gelecekte ararken, bug\u00fcnk\u00fc hayat\u0131 ya\u015fayamadan ge\u00e7irdi\u011fimizi biliyorum.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ne tatl\u0131yd\u0131 sokakta oynad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z oyunlar. Ak\u015fam olsa da batmayan g\u00fcne\u015fler… Ac\u0131k\u0131nca ellerimize tutu\u015fturulan sal\u00e7al\u0131 ekmekler\u2026 Ayazda \u00fc\u015f\u00fcyen ellerimiz\u2026 Eteklerim tak\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131 i\u00e7in zincir atan bisikletim\u2026 Ve d\u00fc\u015fmelerim\u2026 Toz toprak i\u00e7inde kalan \u00fcst\u00fcm ba\u015f\u0131m\u2026 Kanayan dizlerim… \u015eimdilerde hayat, bisikletten d\u00fc\u015fmeye pek de benzemiyor. D\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnce y\u00fcre\u011fimiz kan\u0131yor, yara bere i\u00e7inde kal\u0131yor \u00fcst\u00fcm\u00fcz ba\u015f\u0131m\u0131z.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ve ben, bu sat\u0131rlar\u0131 bitirmi\u015fken k\u0131yamet gibi bir depreme \u015fahit oluyorum. \u201cA\u011fz\u0131ma gelmi\u015fken d\u00fcnya\u201d kelimeleri incitmeden neler yazabilirim diye d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcyorum. Yok yok! Ak\u0131l aciz kal\u0131yor. Akla m\u00fcracaat \u00f6fke veriyor. Kalbime bak\u0131yorum. \u00c7ok ac\u0131yor. Y\u00fcre\u011fim konu\u015fmak istese de s\u00f6zc\u00fcklerin \u00e7aresizli\u011finde bo\u011fuluyor dilim. Kalem naza, g\u00f6nl\u00fcm niyaza durmaktan \u00f6teye ge\u00e7emiyor. R\u00fczg\u00e2rdan kanatlar tak\u0131p, yeti\u015fmek istiyorum her b\u00ee\u00e7areye. G\u00fcne\u015fi \u00e7a\u011f\u0131r\u0131yorum. \u00dc\u015f\u00fcyen minik ellere. Kad\u0131nlar nahiftir. Analar ise g\u00fc\u00e7l\u00fc. Analar\u0131n g\u00fcc\u00fcn\u00fc g\u00f6r\u00fcyorum. Betonlar\u0131n aras\u0131nda ba\u011f\u0131rlar\u0131na ta\u015f bas\u0131p, y\u00fcre\u011finin s\u0131ca\u011f\u0131nda ekmekler pi\u015firen…<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ve Allah\u2026 \u0130nsan\u0131n a\u00e7t\u0131\u011f\u0131 yaralar\u0131 sarmak i\u00e7in, yine insan\u0131 g\u00f6nderen\u2026 Dostu d\u00fc\u015fman, d\u00fc\u015fman\u0131 dost eyleyen\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cBir k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fcc\u00fck radyoya dolan uzaklar\u2026\u201d Ve ben ya\u015faya ya\u015faya ya\u015fland\u0131rd\u0131\u011f\u0131m ge\u00e7mi\u015fimi \u015fimdi daha \u00e7ok \u00f6zl\u00fcyorum. Naz\u0131m Hikmet gibi diyorum: \u201c G\u00fczeldik biz eskiden, \u00e7ok eskiden\u2026\u201d \u201cY\u00fcrekler i\u00e7 i\u00e7eyken\u2026 Menfaatsiz, \u00e7\u0131kars\u0131z sevgiyi y\u00fcrekten verirken\u2026 Sevmek, sevilmek ayaklar alt\u0131na al\u0131nmam\u0131\u015fken\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cG\u00fczeldik biz eskiden, \u00e7ok eskiden\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Kar taneleri umars\u0131zca birbirine \u00e7arpmadan, \u00e7arp\u0131\u015fmadan…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":358,"featured_media":12386,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[67,53],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11845"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/358"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=11845"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11845\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":12387,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11845\/revisions\/12387"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/12386"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=11845"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=11845"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=11845"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}