Bazen, belki de bazen, ge\u00e7mi\u015fte b\u0131rakmak daha iyidir. Bazen zorlamamak, oldu\u011fu gibi b\u0131rakmak ve sadece hafif\u00e7e ba\u015f\u0131m\u0131zla onaylayarak kabul etmemiz gerekir baz\u0131 \u015feyleri. Bir yolculu\u011fun i\u00e7inde oldu\u011fumuzu kabul etmemiz gerekir. Bu yolculukta rastlar\u0131z hayat\u0131n her t\u00fcrl\u00fc h\u00e2line, bazen nefesimizi kesen deniz manzaras\u0131yla kar\u015f\u0131la\u015f\u0131r\u0131z; ay\u0131n d\u00fc\u015fmesini izleriz g\u00fcnd\u00fcz\u00fcn \u00fczerine, dalgalar\u0131n e\u015fi\u011finde. Bazen tekerimiz patlar, yolculu\u011fumuza ara vermek zorunda kal\u0131r\u0131z. Can\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 s\u0131kar\u0131z, devam etmek isteriz hi\u00e7 durmadan. Ama belki de ba\u015fka bir kap\u0131 a\u00e7\u0131l\u0131r durdu\u011fumuz yerden, ba\u015fka bir rota \u00e7izeriz kendimize. Yola \u00e7\u0131kar\u0131z yeniden, tekrardan ba\u015flar\u0131z b\u0131rakt\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z yerden. Art\u0131k aksilik \u00e7\u0131kmaz deriz belki de ama motor bozulur bu sefer de. Tekrardan k\u0131r\u0131l\u0131r kalbimiz, b\u0131rakmak isteriz oldu\u011fu yerde. Bu sefer kald\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z yer bir kul\u00fcbenin \u00f6n\u00fcd\u00fcr, \u0131\u015f\u0131klar yan\u0131p s\u00f6n\u00fcyordur a\u011fa\u00e7lar\u0131n \u00fczerinde. \u015e\u00f6minenin ate\u015fi \u00e7arpar g\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fcze ve merdivenlerde battaniyesine sar\u0131lm\u0131\u015f oturan kad\u0131n belki de. Elindeki kitab\u0131 g\u00f6r\u00fcr\u00fcz, buharl\u0131 kahvesiyle.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ve r\u00fczg\u00e2r\u0131n sesi duyulur yeniden, hayat\u0131n devam etti\u011fini g\u00f6r\u00fcr\u00fcz. Son kez bakar\u0131z \u0131\u015f\u0131klara, son kez bakar\u0131z o kad\u0131na ve devam ederiz. Yollar tehlikelidir bu sefer, kar kaplam\u0131\u015ft\u0131r her yeri. \u0130stesek de devam edemeyiz yola ama yolu t\u0131kayan kar\u0131 da engelleyemeyiz. Bizi durduran ya\u015fam\u0131n kendisidir bu sefer. G\u00fcl\u00fcmseyerek ineriz arabadan biz de al\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u015f\u0131zd\u0131r art\u0131k aya\u011f\u0131m\u0131za tak\u0131lan her \u015feye. \u015eapkam\u0131z\u0131 takar\u0131z, atk\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 ba\u011flar\u0131z. Birka\u00e7 k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck \u00e7ocu\u011fa rastlar\u0131z belki, kardan adamlar\u0131 giysisiz kalm\u0131\u015f. \u00c7ocuklar\u0131n sar\u0131larak \u0131s\u0131tmaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131klar\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6r\u00fcr\u00fcz, g\u00fcl\u00fcmseriz tekrardan. So\u011fu\u011fa ald\u0131rmadan kendi \u00fczerimizdekileri veririz kardan adama. Ve \u00e7ocuklar\u0131n ne\u015feyle ba\u011f\u0131rarak oynamalar\u0131n\u0131 seyrederiz etrafta. Hemen devam etmek istemeyiz bu sefer, karlar\u0131n i\u00e7ine atar\u0131z kendimizi. Bir melek yapmaya ba\u015flar\u0131z kollar\u0131m\u0131zla, \u00fc\u015f\u00fcyoruzdur belki ama \u00e7ok seviyoruzdur karlar\u0131n verdi\u011fi o ender hissi. Titreyerek geri d\u00f6neriz arabaya, rotam\u0131z daha da uzaklarad\u0131r bu sefer. Kendimizden mi ka\u00e7\u0131yoruzdur geride b\u0131rakt\u0131klar\u0131m\u0131zdan m\u0131 bilinmez; belki de sadece gaza basmay\u0131 \u00e7ok seviyoruzdur. \u0130lkbahar kar\u015f\u0131lar bu sefer de bizi, reng\u00e2renk \u00e7i\u00e7ekler ya\u011far \u00fczerimize. Y\u00fcr\u00fcmek istemez arabayla ge\u00e7eriz a\u011fa\u00e7lar\u0131n aras\u0131ndan. \u00c7alan \u015fark\u0131ya e\u015flik ederiz, ku\u015flar\u0131n \u00f6t\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fc dinleriz elinde ba\u015fka bir kitab\u0131yla rastlar\u0131z battaniyeli kad\u0131na. Vi\u015fne suyunu i\u00e7iyordur \u015fimdi, arada da g\u00f6ky\u00fcz\u00fcne kald\u0131r\u0131yordur bak\u0131\u015flar\u0131n\u0131 ku\u015flar\u0131n kanat \u00e7\u0131rp\u0131\u015f\u0131n\u0131 seyretmek i\u00e7in. Kahkaha atar\u0131z bu sefer, biri daha devam etmeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131yordur hayattaki yolculu\u011funa.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mevsimler de\u011fi\u015fiyordur, belki de elimizdeki kitaplar. Ama h\u00e2l\u00e2 devam ediyoruzdur biz, dura dura bazen, yava\u015f yava\u015f. Bir ev tutar\u0131z biz de kendimize, arabam\u0131z kalmaya devam eder yerinde. Reng\u00e2renk \u0131\u015f\u0131klarla s\u00fcsleriz oray\u0131, sal\u0131ncaklar kurar\u0131z bah\u00e7emize. Bu sefer de oturarak izleriz hayat\u0131, g\u00fcne\u015f kaybolmaya ba\u015flar, \u00e7i\u00e7eklerin yerini sonbahar yapraklar\u0131 al\u0131r ve kar \u00f6rter her \u015feyin \u00fczerini yeniden. \u015e\u00f6minenin ba\u015f\u0131na otururuz, s\u0131cak \u00e7ikolata vard\u0131r elimizde. K\u00f6pr\u00fcdeki kad\u0131n gelir akl\u0131m\u0131za, bitirdi\u011fimiz kitab\u0131 geri koyar\u0131z rafa. Bir ba\u015fkas\u0131n\u0131 al\u0131r\u0131z, yeni bir sayfaya ba\u015flar\u0131z. Yeniden, yeniden ve yeniden devam eder her \u015fey. Bazen so\u011fukta karlar\u0131n i\u00e7erisinde, bazen yapraklar\u0131n aras\u0131nda, g\u00f6l\u00fcn kenar\u0131nda, bazen \u00e7i\u00e7eklerin yan\u0131 ba\u015f\u0131nda, da\u011flar\u0131n ete\u011finde, bazen bir sokak \u00e7alg\u0131c\u0131s\u0131n\u0131n yan\u0131nda\u2026 Devam eder, ak\u0131p gider zaman. Ve bu sefer bir bankta rastlar\u0131z battaniyeli kad\u0131na. Kitab\u0131n\u0131 kapat\u0131yordur \u015fimdi, g\u00f6zleri \u00fczerimizdedir. Bir g\u00fcl\u00fcmseme al\u0131r dudaklar\u0131n\u0131, ba\u015f\u0131yla selam verir bize. Ve kalk\u0131p gidi\u015fini seyrederiz kad\u0131n\u0131n, eski bir dosttur art\u0131k bizim i\u00e7in. G\u00f6zlerimiz g\u00f6\u011f\u00fc bulur ve bulutlar\u0131n ge\u00e7ip gidi\u015fini seyrederiz \u00f6ylece. \u0130\u015fte, bazen, belki de bazen, yeniden ba\u015flamak gerekir her \u015feye. Yeni bir kitap almak gerekir raftan, yeni bir i\u00e7ecek denemek belki de. Arabaya atlamak gerekir bazen ya da ko\u015farak ge\u00e7eriz biz de. Yollar t\u0131kan\u0131r, engeller \u00e7\u0131kar \u00e7amurun i\u00e7inden y\u00fcr\u00fcr\u00fcz bu sefer de. Devam ederiz; yeniden, pes etmeden ve beklemeden. Bazen g\u00f6zya\u015flar\u0131 i\u00e7erisinde bazen y\u00fcz\u00fcm\u00fczde g\u00fcl\u00fcmsemeyle. O y\u00fczden, bazen diyorum, belki de bazen kap\u0131l\u0131p gitmek gerekir hayat\u0131n kendisine. Nereye gitti\u011fimizi bilmeden, rotam\u0131z\u0131 s\u00fcrekli de\u011fi\u015ftirerek ve en \u00f6nemlisi o kitap okuyan kad\u0131na s\u00fcrekli selam vererek.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Bazen, belki de bazen, ge\u00e7mi\u015fte b\u0131rakmak…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":335,"featured_media":12402,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[67,53],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11819"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/335"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=11819"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11819\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":12403,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11819\/revisions\/12403"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/12402"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=11819"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=11819"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=11819"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}