{"id":11571,"date":"2022-09-03T19:54:52","date_gmt":"2022-09-03T16:54:52","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/kadrandergi.com.tr\/?p=11571"},"modified":"2022-09-03T19:54:52","modified_gmt":"2022-09-03T16:54:52","slug":"icimin-denizleri","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/?p=11571","title":{"rendered":"\u0130\u00e7imin Denizleri"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Mavili beyazl\u0131 k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck kareleri olan bir g\u00f6mle\u011fi vard\u0131 babam\u0131n.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Yanl\u0131\u015f hat\u0131rlam\u0131yorsam babalar g\u00fcn\u00fcnde hediye etmi\u015ftik.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Eskiyinceye kadar \u015fehirde giymi\u015fti, sonra tarlada \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131rken giymek \u00fczere k\u00f6ye g\u00f6t\u00fcrm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc. En son ekti\u011fi bu\u011fdaylar\u0131n hasad\u0131n\u0131 yapmak \u00fczere annemle k\u00f6ye gitmi\u015ftik ve o g\u00f6mle\u011fini bulmu\u015ftuk. \u00dczerinden d\u00f6rt ay ge\u00e7mi\u015fti ve hala kokusu \u00fczerindeydi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u015eimdiyse ne kokusu, ne sesi akl\u0131mda&#8230;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Y\u00fcz\u00fc kaz\u0131nm\u0131\u015f ama haf\u0131zama.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u0130ri, ela g\u00f6zler ok ok kirpikler&#8230;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>O y\u00fcz unutulacak bir y\u00fcz de\u011fil ki zaten erkek g\u00fczeli adam \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u00d6l\u00fcm \u00e7ok acayip bir \u015fey biliyor musunuz? \u00d6lmeden \u00f6nce yat\u0131rd\u0131\u011f\u0131 okul harc\u0131m\u0131zla okuduk bir d\u00f6nem. Doldurdu\u011fu otob\u00fcs kartlar\u0131yla okula gittik bir zaman. Ben seviyorum diye \u015falgam yapm\u0131\u015ft\u0131 \u00f6lmeden; \u00f6ld\u00fckten bir ay sonra onu i\u00e7mi\u015ftik mesela.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>A\u011f\u0131r a\u011f\u0131r \u00f6ld\u00fc yani, a\u011f\u0131r a\u011f\u0131r gitti benden&#8230;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u00c7ok uzun zaman ayn\u0131 r\u00fcyay\u0131 g\u00f6rd\u00fcm o Toros arabas\u0131yla bir yerlere gidiyoruz yolun yar\u0131s\u0131nda duruyor \u0131ss\u0131z oluyor genelde durdu\u011fu yerler.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;Bundan sonra bensiz gideceksin deyip gidiyor.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;Baba ne olur beni b\u0131rakma sensiz nas\u0131l giderim!&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;Gitmek zorundas\u0131n art\u0131k ben yokum&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Uyan\u0131yorum ve anl\u0131yorum ki art\u0131k yola onsuz devam etmek zorunday\u0131m.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Iss\u0131z bir yerde b\u0131rakm\u0131\u015f olsa da.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Bazen de geri geldi\u011fini g\u00f6r\u00fcyorum, bir yerlerde kar\u015f\u0131la\u015f\u0131yoruz ya da. Ne kadar \u00f6zledi\u011fimi o zaman fark ediyorum.(Hasret&#8217;in an be an b\u00fcy\u00fcyor baba.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Havadan sudan konu\u015fuyoruz r\u00fcya bu ya o g\u00fcn olan olaylar\u0131 anlat\u0131yorum. Bir \u015feyler soruyorum, cevapl\u0131yor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Bazen hat\u0131rlam\u0131yorum r\u00fcyalar\u0131 ama uyand\u0131\u011f\u0131mda dev bir hasret buluyorum yast\u0131\u011f\u0131mda.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Ge\u00e7en yine g\u00f6rd\u00fcm sabah E\u015fim Bey&#8217;e babam\u0131 \u00e7ok \u00f6zledi\u011fimi anlatt\u0131m.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;Baban\u0131 ben de \u00f6zledim&#8221; diyor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Hi\u00e7 tan\u0131\u015fmad\u0131lar oysa.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Biraz reklam kabiliyetimden de kaynaklan\u0131yor bence. \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>O gitti\u011finde 20 ya\u015f\u0131nda \u00e7ok a\u015f\u0131r\u0131 salak bir ergendim. \u0130yi bir \u00e7ocuktum ama.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Bu ya\u015f\u0131n akl\u0131yla konu\u015fsam ne g\u00fczel olurdu, siyasetten, hayattan, olanlardan konu\u015fmak&#8230;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;Dedi\u011fine geldim, seni \u015fimdi \u00e7ok iyi anl\u0131yorum baba!&#8221; demem ne iyi gelirdi O&#8217;na.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>A\u011fz\u0131 dolu dolu &#8220;E\u015f\u015fekk k\u0131z\u0131m tabi \u00f6yle&#8221; derdi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Huysuz bir ihtiyar olurdu belki, belki pamuk bir dede.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Hayat\u0131ma sebep olmu\u015f ama bug\u00fcn tan\u0131yam\u0131yorum ne garip&#8230;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&nbsp;Ay&#8217;a bak\u0131yorum bazen, G\u00fcne\u015f\u2019e, birlikte y\u00fcr\u00fcd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm\u00fcz sokaklara&#8230;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Yoldan ge\u00e7en adamlar\u0131n y\u00fczlerine, baz\u0131lar\u0131n\u0131n foto\u011fraflar\u0131na bak\u0131yorum&#8230; Benzeyenler \u00e7\u0131k\u0131yor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Hi\u00e7 birisi O de\u011fil. Hi\u00e7 bir yerde de\u011fil. Ay\u2019da de\u011fil G\u00fcne\u015f&#8217;te de\u011fil. D\u00fcnya\u2019y\u0131 gezsem bulamayaca\u011f\u0131m. D\u00fcnya\u2019da de\u011fil. D\u00fcnya\u2019y\u0131 gezse neler neler bulur insan oysa.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Hayat devam ediyor \u00e7\u0131lg\u0131n bir \u015fekilde. G\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fcn i\u00e7ine baka baka devam ediyor. Kar\u0131\u015f\u0131yorum kalabal\u0131klara, hayata.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Yeni insanlar tan\u0131yorum, dostluklar kuruyorum, birileri giriyor hayat\u0131ma, birileri \u00e7\u0131k\u0131yor hayat\u0131mdan. B\u00fcy\u00fcyorum, ya\u015f al\u0131yorum, ya\u015flan\u0131yorum belki. Bir yan\u0131m yirmi ya\u015f\u0131nda kal\u0131yor i\u015fte bir yan\u0131m son bak\u0131\u015f\u0131nda kal\u0131yor, son g\u00fcl\u00fcmsemesinde&#8230;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Bir gemi batm\u0131\u015f i\u00e7imin denizlerinde.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Enkaz\u0131 kald\u0131ram\u0131yorum, kald\u0131rmak istemiyorum.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Bu hayatta \u00e7ok iyi bildi\u011fim bir \u015fey varsa babam\u0131 \u00e7ok \u00f6zl\u00fcyorum.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Mavili beyazl\u0131 k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck kareleri olan&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":309,"featured_media":11572,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[67],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11571"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/309"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=11571"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11571\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=11571"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=11571"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=11571"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}