{"id":11002,"date":"2021-06-01T00:00:32","date_gmt":"2021-05-31T21:00:32","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/kadrandergi.com.tr\/?p=11002"},"modified":"2021-06-01T00:00:32","modified_gmt":"2021-05-31T21:00:32","slug":"ac-kapiyi-galip-abi","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/?p=11002","title":{"rendered":"A\u00e7 Kap\u0131y\u0131 Galip Abi"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><strong>Kap\u0131 A\u00e7\u0131lsa Olmaz M\u0131?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>\u00c7ok istiyorum asl\u0131nda gidip dola\u015fmay\u0131, ne olmu\u015f ne bitmi\u015f, neler de\u011fi\u015fmi\u015f. Ama o tozlanan raflar\u0131 silemeyeceksem, k\u0131r\u0131lan e\u015fyalar\u0131 toparlayamayacaksam, k\u00f6\u015feyi d\u00f6nd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcmdeki o iki kap\u0131n\u0131n arkas\u0131nda bulamayacaksam cimcimeliklerimi, ne gerek var dimi&#8230; Ho\u015f k\u00f6pr\u00fcden iki at\u0131m \u00f6teye gitmeye bile mecalim yok benim. O kap\u0131 tekrar ne zaman a\u00e7\u0131lacak ki, ben evimi \u00e7ok \u00f6zledim.<\/p>\n<p>\u0130nsan\u0131n evi gibisi olur mu hi\u00e7 dimi?.. Bah\u00e7ede ko\u015fmay\u0131, bisiklet s\u00fcrmeyi, top oynamay\u0131, bir ucundan bir ucuna seslenmeyi hepsini \u00e7ok \u00f6zledim. Birlikte pide yemeyi, kar helvas\u0131 ka\u015f\u0131klamay\u0131, dut toplay\u0131p yemeyi, o kocaman a\u011fac\u0131n ye\u015ferirken d\u00f6kt\u00fc\u011f\u00fc pembe \u00e7i\u00e7eklerinin manzaras\u0131n\u0131&#8230; A\u00e7 kap\u0131y\u0131 Galip abi ben geldim. \u0130\u00e7eride birka\u00e7 e\u015fyam\u0131 unutmu\u015fum. Dolapta pembe puantiyeli e\u015farb\u0131m, ask\u0131da lacivert h\u0131rkam, duvarda asl\u0131nda o teknikte istenmemesine ra\u011fmen \u00f6yle \u00e7izdi\u011fim resmim kalm\u0131\u015f. Sa\u011flam m\u0131d\u0131rlar acaba hala&#8230; \u00c7oktan \u00e7\u00f6pe gitmi\u015f de olabilir. Boyalar\u0131n oldu\u011fu odada g\u00fcnayd\u0131nlar\u0131m kalm\u0131\u015f, hemen kar\u015f\u0131 odada kahkahalar\u0131m; koridorda sesim, bah\u00e7ede sevincim kalm\u0131\u015f. \u0130ki dakika al\u0131p \u00e7\u0131ksam olur mu? \u00c7ok gezen bir karde\u015fim var ya hani, \u00e7ok \u00fczg\u00fcn o, \u00e7ok a\u011fl\u0131yor. Salondan iki umut al\u0131p \u00e7\u0131ksam onun i\u00e7in? Sonra hani boncuk boncuk g\u00f6zleri olan\u0131m\u0131z vard\u0131 hani&#8230; Ac\u0131km\u0131\u015ft\u0131r o ama bo\u011faz\u0131 d\u00fc\u011f\u00fcmlenmi\u015f, ba\u015fka yerde de yemek yiyemiyor art\u0131k. Toplan\u0131p bah\u00e7ede mangal g\u00fcn\u00fc yapsak yine, k\u00f6fte ekmek, malum \u00e7ok severiz. Ben biraz boyalarla ilgilensem o arada, ba\u015fka ne yapaca\u011f\u0131m\u0131 bilmiyorum \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc. Boyamaya, \u00e7izmeye devam etmeli miyim ondan da emin de\u011filim. O kap\u0131dan \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131\u011f\u0131mdan beri en iyi \u00f6\u011frendi\u011fim \u015fey hi\u00e7bir \u015feyden emin olmamak oldu.<\/p>\n<p>Asl\u0131nda her \u015fey sand\u0131\u011f\u0131mdan \u00e7ok daha farkl\u0131ym\u0131\u015f. O duvarlar\u0131n i\u00e7inde sand\u0131\u011f\u0131mdan \u00e7ok daha b\u00fcy\u00fck bir sevgi varm\u0131\u015f me\u011fer. Asl\u0131nda ben en \u00e7ok orada mutluymu\u015fum. En \u00e7ok orada g\u00fclm\u00fc\u015f\u00fcm, en temiz orada a\u011flam\u0131\u015f\u0131m. Bir \u015feyi ya\u015famadan \u00f6\u011frenmek olmuyormu\u015f. Say\u0131s\u0131z hik\u00e2yeler dinledik orada ve \u015fimdi o hik\u00e2yeleri ya\u015f\u0131yoruz. Dinlemesi kolaym\u0131\u015f ama ya\u015famas\u0131 zor. Me\u011fer bu duvarlar\u0131n ard\u0131 ne kadar pislikle doluymu\u015f. Sand\u0131\u011f\u0131m kadar kolay de\u011filmi\u015f s\u00fcrekli iyimser olmak. Karamsarla\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131mdan de\u011fil de, baz\u0131 \u015feylerin ger\u00e7ekten hi\u00e7bir iyi yan\u0131 yokmu\u015f. Her a\u011flayana sar\u0131lmak \u00f6yle kolay de\u011filmi\u015f, mesafe denen ger\u00e7ek bir yana, insan bazen o teselliyi kendisi ar\u0131yormu\u015f. Ama baz\u0131 \u015feylerin tesellisi yokmu\u015f. \u00d6yle olmas\u0131 gerekmi\u015f, \u00f6yle olmu\u015f. \u015eu anda da bir \u015feyler oluyor, b\u00f6yle olmas\u0131 gerekti\u011fi i\u00e7in oluyor yine ama insan yine de \u201cher \u015fey daha ba\u015fka olabilirdi\u201d demeden duram\u0131yormu\u015f.<\/p>\n<p>Ait hissetme duygusu sand\u0131\u011f\u0131mdan \u00e7ok daha \u00f6nemliymi\u015f me\u011fer. \u0130nsan\u0131n evim diyebildi\u011fi en g\u00fczel yerdeki tat tekrar gelene kadar ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131n her yer misafirlik gibi oluyormu\u015f. Kap\u0131 a\u00e7\u0131ls\u0131n art\u0131k l\u00fctfen&#8230; D\u0131\u015far\u0131s\u0131 \u00e7ok yabanc\u0131, \u00e7ok fazla ge\u00e7ici, \u00e7ok fazla ge\u00e7irici&#8230; D\u0131\u015far\u0131da \u00e7ok fazla mutsuz kalan var, \u00e7ok fazla ac\u0131 var. bu kadar ac\u0131yla ne yap\u0131l\u0131r ki, kime ne s\u00f6ylesem eksik, kime ne desem etkisiz&#8230; Hi\u00e7bir \u015fey demeden dursam her an yan\u0131m\u0131zda oldu\u011fumuzu bilmek yetmiyor \u00e7o\u011fu zaman. Evet sadece bir telefon uzakta, ama konu\u015fmaya mecali kalmayanlar kul\u00fcb\u00fc buras\u0131. Kendini ifade etmeye kelimesi t\u00fckenenlerin diyar\u0131&#8230; Sevin\u00e7lerim evimde kald\u0131 be abi, insan ait hissedemedi\u011fi yerlerde ne kadar tutunabilir ki? O kap\u0131dan \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131\u011f\u0131mdan beri evsiz, yersiz, yurtsuz gibiyim. Savruldu\u011fumuz her duvar\u0131n s\u0131\u011f\u0131nmac\u0131s\u0131, asl\u0131nda \u00f6yle olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 \u00f6\u011frendi\u011fimiz her hissin yabanc\u0131s\u0131&#8230; Bu kadar yabanc\u0131l\u0131kla ne yap\u0131l\u0131r ki? Herkes cahil ama bilgi cahili de\u011fil, duygu cahili. Sevmeyi bilmeyen sevilmenin cahili, a\u011flamay\u0131 bilmeyen g\u00fclmenin cahili, sakinli\u011fi bilmeyen \u00f6fkenin cahili&#8230; Soran olursa herkes biliyor zarlar\u0131n hileli oldu\u011funu ama herkeste at g\u00f6zl\u00fckleri. Ama bu cahilliklere de yap\u0131lacak hi\u00e7bir \u015fey yokmu\u015f i\u015fte&#8230; Sadece kap\u0131 a\u00e7\u0131lsa ve evime geri d\u00f6nsem olmaz m\u0131?..<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Kap\u0131 A\u00e7\u0131lsa Olmaz M\u0131? \u00c7ok istiyorum&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":37,"featured_media":11003,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[67,53],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11002"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/37"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=11002"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11002\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=11002"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=11002"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=11002"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}