Belle\u011fin neye benzedi\u011fini tam olarak tarif etmek zor. K\u0131y\u0131lar\u0131n\u0131n nerelere vard\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 bilmedi\u011fim bir i\u00e7 denize benzetti\u011fim de olur, durmadan in\u015fa etti\u011fimiz, eklemeler yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z, artt\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z, eksildi\u011fimiz bir eve benzetti\u011fim de olur. Durmadan yeniden ve yeniden in\u015fa etti\u011fimiz bir ev…<\/p>\n
Benim bu eve dair ilk an\u0131lar\u0131m mutfakla ba\u015flar. Mutfak demek \u201canne\u201d<\/em> demek \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc. \u0130lk hat\u0131rlad\u0131\u011f\u0131m \u015feylere dair ge\u00e7mi\u015fe d\u00f6nd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcmde haf\u0131zam, annemin yemek pi\u015firirken izledi\u011fim ve ne yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 anlamland\u0131rmaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131m zamanlara kadar uzan\u0131r. Onu uzun uzun seyredi\u015flerim, ilk sab\u0131rs\u0131zlanmalar\u0131m\u0131n bilincine vard\u0131\u011f\u0131m, a\u00e7l\u0131\u011f\u0131n ve pe\u015finden doyurulman\u0131n verdi\u011fi o en tatl\u0131 hazlar\u0131 ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131m, mek\u00e2n\u0131n ve yemek kokusunun insanda yaratt\u0131\u011f\u0131 tarifsiz g\u00fcven duygusu… Anne, mutfak, yemek, s\u0131cakl\u0131k, sevgi ve g\u00fcven hissini hat\u0131rlad\u0131k\u00e7a, bunu duymay\u0131 m\u00fcmk\u00fcn k\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131 i\u00e7in iyiki bir belle\u011fe ve iyiki ya\u015fam\u0131n baz\u0131 anlar\u0131n\u0131 \u00f6l\u00fcms\u00fczle\u015ftirebildi\u011fimiz bu e\u015fsiz alana sahibiz diye d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcr\u00fcm. Somut bir mek\u00e2n gibi d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm bu evin misafir odas\u0131yla b\u00fct\u00fcnle\u015fen ki\u015fisi de \u0131ss\u0131z ve sessiz olmas\u0131ndan \u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fc kitap okumak i\u00e7in her f\u0131rsatla oraya ka\u00e7an babamd\u0131r. \u00c7al\u0131\u015fma odalar\u0131 hala bir \u00e7oklar\u0131 i\u00e7in l\u00fcks ve hayat \u015fartlar\u0131 art\u0131k bir misafir odas\u0131 sessizli\u011fi dahi b\u0131rakmad\u0131 hayatlar\u0131m\u0131zda. Sessiz bir kuytuya \u00e7ekilecek vakti ve ortam\u0131 bulamad\u0131\u011f\u0131m zamanlarda bulundu\u011fum kalabal\u0131\u011f\u0131n i\u00e7inde oldu\u011fum yerden babam\u0131n ka\u00e7t\u0131\u011f\u0131 misafir odas\u0131n\u0131 aralad\u0131\u011f\u0131m ve ka\u00e7t\u0131\u011f\u0131m olur. \u00d6zellikle metro yolculuklar\u0131 insana kalabal\u0131k bir sessizli\u011fi ya\u015fat\u0131rken zihnimde hep babam\u0131n ka\u00e7t\u0131\u011f\u0131 oda canlan\u0131r.<\/p>\n B\u00fcy\u00fcd\u00fck\u00e7e mek\u00e2nlar\u0131m\u0131z ve e\u015fyalar\u0131m\u0131zla b\u00fct\u00fcnle\u015fen insanlar\u0131m\u0131z da art\u0131yor. Sevdiklerimizi \u015fartlar \u00f6l\u00e7\u00fcs\u00fcnde diledi\u011fimiz yerde diledi\u011fimiz gibi konumland\u0131r\u0131yoruz. Varl\u0131\u011f\u0131yla huzur bulduklar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 evimizin balkonunda bekler buluyoruz. Bah\u00e7emizdeki toprak bize verilen sevgiyle k\u00e2h ye\u015feriyor ya da \u00f6len veya \u00f6ld\u00fc kabul ettiklerimizi g\u00f6md\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm\u00fcz bir matem dura\u011f\u0131na d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015febiliyor. Benim ev ve bah\u00e7e diye tan\u0131mlad\u0131\u011f\u0131m belle\u011fi elbette herkes farkl\u0131 bir yer ve mek\u00e2na benzetebilir.<\/p>\n Zaman\u0131n t\u00fcketti\u011fi ya da \u00f6\u011f\u00fctt\u00fc\u011f\u00fc b\u00fct\u00fcn ya\u015fant\u0131lar\u0131m\u0131z, Hilmi Yavuz\u2019un bir kitab\u0131na ad\u0131n\u0131 veren \u201cBelle\u011fin Kuytular\u0131nda\u201d durmadan birikiyor ve onlar\u0131 hat\u0131rlad\u0131k\u00e7a bir ger\u00e7eklik yaratmasa da i\u00e7sel bir manzara yarat\u0131yor. Hilmi Yavuz s\u00f6z etti\u011fim kitab\u0131nda, hayat\u0131ndan ge\u00e7enleri (tahmin edersiniz ki edebiyat ve d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnce d\u00fcnyas\u0131n\u0131n ad\u0131 ve hat\u0131r\u0131 say\u0131l\u0131r insanlar\u0131 bunlar) sadece kendi d\u00fcnyas\u0131nda hapsetmemi\u015f, okurla da bulu\u015fturmu\u015f oluyor.<\/p>\n Kitaba, portre yazma sanat\u0131n\u0131 anlat\u0131p, buna \u00f6nc\u00fcl\u00fck eden ustalar\u0131 selamlayarak ba\u015fl\u0131yor. Yahya Kemal\u2019in, \u2018Siyasi ve Edebi Portreler\u2019 <\/em>inden, Refik Halit\u2019in\u00a0 \u2018Tan\u0131d\u0131klar\u0131m<\/em>\u2019 \u0131na, Haldun Taner\u2019in \u2018\u00d6l\u00fcr ise Ten \u00f6l\u00fcr, Canlar \u00d6lesi De\u011fil\u2019<\/em> ine, Oktay Akbal\u2019\u0131n \u2018\u015eair Dostlar\u0131m<\/em>\u2019 \u0131 gibi bir\u00e7ok \u00f6rne\u011finin ad\u0131n\u0131n ge\u00e7ti\u011fi giri\u015f k\u0131sm\u0131ndan bu t\u00fcrde verilen eserlerin k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck bir listesini yapmak m\u00fcmk\u00fcn. \u0130\u00e7inden ge\u00e7ti\u011fimiz bu karma\u015fa \u00e7a\u011f\u0131nda, her bir portrenin, i\u00e7erdi\u011fi onlarca detayla beraber, bir ustan\u0131n dizi dibinde oturma \u015fans\u0131 bulamayan ve b\u00fcy\u00fck bir merak ve i\u015ftiyakla kitaplara ve edebiyata \u00e7ekilenlerin yolunu ayd\u0131nlatmada b\u00fcy\u00fck bir i\u015fleve sahip olacakt\u0131r diye d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcyorum. Hilmi Yavuz bu alanda yaz\u0131lm\u0131\u015f k\u0131ymetli eserlere bir yenisini eklemi\u015f, di\u011ferlerine nazaran ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z d\u00f6neme daha yak\u0131n bir anlat\u0131 olu\u015fturmu\u015f.<\/p>\n Kitapta, a\u011f\u0131rl\u0131\u011f\u0131 edebiyat olmak \u00fczere \u00e7e\u015fitli \u00e7evrelerden yetmi\u015f ki\u015fiye yaz\u0131lm\u0131\u015f portre denemesi mevcut. Osmanl\u0131n\u0131n en zarif, en duygulu padi\u015fah\u0131 olarak tarif etti\u011fi III. Selim ile ba\u015flay\u0131p, dil ve \u00fcslup zarafetinin duayeni kabul etti\u011fi \u00c7etin Altan ile bitiyor. Hepsinin ad\u0131n\u0131 burada zikretmek g\u00fc\u00e7 ama bir ka\u00e7\u0131na de\u011finmek ve kitaptan hareketle bir anlat\u0131 olu\u015fturmak istedim. Beh\u00e7et Necatigil, Faz\u0131l H\u00fcsn\u00fc Da\u011flarca, Attila \u0130lhan, Cahit K\u00fclebi, Oktay Akbal, Orhan Pamuk, Fethi Naci, Halit Refi\u011f, Nezihe Meri\u00e7 ve sayamad\u0131\u011f\u0131m onlarca ismi sat\u0131rlar\u0131na konuk etmi\u015f Hilmi Yavuz. Babas\u0131 Yahya Hikmet Yavuz\u2019u okurken, yak\u0131n bir zamanda annemi kaybetti\u011fim i\u00e7in duygulan\u0131p durdu\u011fum oldu. \u201cAd\u0131 Bilinmez Bir Denizde Batan Eski Zaman Kalyonu\u201d<\/em> ba\u015fl\u0131\u011f\u0131yla babas\u0131na ithaf etti\u011fi yaz\u0131, kendimi anneme seslenirken buldu\u011fum \u015fu c\u00fcmlelerle bitiyor;<\/p>\n \u201cO b\u00fcy\u00fck kentin parklar\u0131ndaki \u00e7i\u00e7ekleri, a\u011fa\u00e7lar\u0131, gece yar\u0131s\u0131 duyulan ya\u011fmur ve yaprak h\u0131\u015f\u0131rt\u0131lar\u0131n\u0131 sana adad\u0131m. Bir ad\u0131 bilinmez denizde batan kalyon. Beni duyuyor musun?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBellek her zaman ac\u0131d\u0131r. \u00d6zlenirken bile ge\u00e7mi\u015fin ac\u0131 vermesi ondan dolay\u0131d\u0131r.\u201d \u00a0Do\u011fan H\u0131zlan i\u00e7in yazd\u0131\u011f\u0131 yaz\u0131 bu c\u00fcmlelerle ba\u015fl\u0131yor. An\u0131lar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 hat\u0131rlad\u0131k\u00e7a kap\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z h\u00fczn\u00fcn ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z anlar\u0131n art\u0131k ge\u00e7mi\u015fte as\u0131l\u0131 kalmas\u0131yla ilgili oldu\u011fu bir ger\u00e7ek. Ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z h\u00fczn\u00fc \u015fundan \u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fc duyuyor olabiliriz; sevdiklerimizle bellek denen yerde ge\u00e7ici olarak bulu\u015fsak da onlar\u0131 ya\u015fanan ana al\u0131p getiremiyoruz. Bir anlamda gurbeti ya\u015f\u0131yor olmaktan \u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fc h\u00fcz\u00fcn ya\u015famam\u0131z bunun do\u011fal sonucu.<\/p>\n Hilmi Yavuz, kitapta san\u0131lan\u0131n aksine yazd\u0131\u011f\u0131 her ki\u015fiden \u00f6vg\u00fc ya da hayranl\u0131kla bahsetmiyor. Sadece sevdiklerine yer verdi\u011fi tatl\u0131 bir an\u0131 kitab\u0131 de\u011fil bu. Zaten kitab\u0131 sunarken \u015funlar\u0131 yazm\u0131\u015f:<\/p>\n \u201cPortreler aras\u0131nda dost olduklar\u0131m da var, olmad\u0131klar\u0131m da var.\u201d diyor. \u201cZor olan dostlar\u0131 yazmak, talihsiz olan da dost olmayanlar\u0131…\u201d<\/p>\n Yazd\u0131\u011f\u0131 ki\u015fileri okurken \u015funu fark ediyorum; onlar\u0131n bizim tan\u0131d\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z, bildi\u011fimiz ki\u015filerden ziyade, \u00a0Hilmi Yavuz\u2019un ki\u015fileri, insanlar\u0131 olmalar\u0131… Onun aynas\u0131nda akseden suretler. Bize yans\u0131t\u0131lan, onun hislerine, zihin d\u00fcnyas\u0131na dokunduklar\u0131 yerdeki varl\u0131klar\u0131d\u0131r. G\u00fcndelik hayat\u0131m\u0131zda bunu \u00e7ok\u00e7a ya\u015f\u0131yoruz. Ayn\u0131 ki\u015fiden bahseden iki insan\u0131n var etti\u011fi iki ayr\u0131 insan vard\u0131r. Varl\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z, ili\u015fki i\u00e7inde oldu\u011fumuz her ki\u015fide \u00e7o\u011fal\u0131r. Birden \u00e7ok \u201cbiz\u201d<\/em> vard\u0131r art\u0131k. Kar\u015f\u0131la\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z ki\u015fi say\u0131s\u0131nca \u00e7o\u011falmak kula\u011fa muazzam geliyor de\u011fil mi? \u0130li\u015fki i\u00e7inde oldu\u011fumuz her insanda bir yer kaplamak ve bunlar\u0131n hi\u00e7birinin birbirinin ayn\u0131s\u0131 olmamas\u0131… \u00a0Bu g\u00f6zle kitab\u0131 de\u011ferlendirdi\u011fimiz zaman aynalar koridorunda y\u00fcr\u00fcmek gibi. Hilmi Yavuz, edebiyat d\u00fcnyas\u0131ndaki ustal\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan hareketle aynas\u0131nda akseden suretlerle okurunu da tan\u0131\u015ft\u0131rm\u0131\u015f oluyor.<\/p>\n Bir tak\u0131m kavramlarla \u00f6zde\u015fle\u015ftirdi\u011fimiz ki\u015filer oluyor hayat\u0131m\u0131zda. Bize hissettirdikleriyle alakal\u0131 olarak s\u00fcrekli de\u011fi\u015fiyor. Asl\u0131nda ya\u015fant\u0131 dedi\u011fimiz \u015fey ne ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan ziyade ne hissetti\u011finle daha alakal\u0131 gibi. Bir an\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 anlat\u0131rken Fakir Baykurt\u2019un kendisinde b\u0131rakt\u0131\u011f\u0131 izlenimi \u201cinsan s\u0131cakl\u0131\u011f\u0131\u201d<\/em> diye tan\u0131ml\u0131yor Hilmi Yavuz,<\/p>\n \u201cBen, bu insan s\u0131cakl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131, \u015fu \u00f6l\u00fcml\u00fc d\u00fcnyadan \u00e7ekip giden Fakir Baykurt\u2019ta buldum.\u201d<\/p>\n Kimdir bize insan s\u0131cakl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 hissettiren? \u0130nsan\u0131n kolunun kanad\u0131n\u0131n k\u0131r\u0131k oldu\u011fu, deste\u011fe \u00e7ok\u00e7a ihtiya\u00e7 duydu\u011fu d\u00f6nemlerde varl\u0131\u011f\u0131yla sar\u0131p sarmalayanlard\u0131r \u015f\u00fcphesiz. Maddi hi\u00e7bir kar\u015f\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131 bulunmaz bu duygunun. Ayn\u0131 mek\u00e2n\u0131 ayn\u0131 zaman dilimini dahi payla\u015fmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131z birinin kurdu\u011fu bir c\u00fcmle dahi ayn\u0131 hissi yaratabilir. T\u0131pk\u0131 Sabahattin Ali\u2019nin, kendisi yeis i\u00e7indeyken dahi insanlara umut vaat eden sat\u0131rlar\u0131n\u0131n zaman\u0131 a\u015f\u0131p y\u00fcreklere dokunmas\u0131 gibi… Ne diyordu?<\/p>\n \u201cBa\u015f\u0131n \u00f6ne e\u011filmesin, ald\u0131rma g\u00f6n\u00fcl ald\u0131rma!\u201d<\/p>\n Hilmi Yavuz\u2019un Fakir Baykurt ile ge\u00e7irdi\u011fi on be\u015f g\u00fcnl\u00fck k\u0131sa bir zaman dilimini olduk\u00e7a iz b\u0131rakan bir an\u0131 olarak olarak anlatmas\u0131 R.W. Emerson\u2019un, \u201cYa\u015fam\u0131n uzunlu\u011fu de\u011fil, derinli\u011fi \u00f6nemlidir.\u201d s\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc hat\u0131rlat\u0131yor. Kendi ifadesiyle, \u201cBir \u00f6mr\u00fc dolduracak kadar derin…\u201d<\/p>\n \u0130nsan\u0131n, hayat\u0131n\u0131n her bir d\u00f6nemiyle b\u00fct\u00fcnle\u015fen bir e\u015fya, bir giysi bir mek\u00e2n ya da de\u011fer verdi\u011fi bir insan olur \u00e7o\u011funlukla. Bunlar\u0131 kaybetmenin insanda yaratt\u0131\u011f\u0131 his o d\u00f6nemi kaybetmekle e\u015f de\u011fer. O d\u00f6neme ait \u00f6nemli bir sembol\u00fcn yitirilmi\u015f olmas\u0131n\u0131n yaratt\u0131\u011f\u0131 bo\u015fluk insana \u00e7ok ac\u0131 verir. Kitapta, Hilmi Yavuz\u2019un, \u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fcn\u00fcn ard\u0131ndan, \u201cGen\u00e7li\u011fimin \u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fc\u201d diye ifade etti\u011fi, gen\u00e7lik d\u00f6nemine konumland\u0131rd\u0131\u011f\u0131 ki\u015fi olan Oktay Akbal\u2019\u0131 yazd\u0131\u011f\u0131 b\u00f6l\u00fcmde \u201c\u00d6l\u00fcmle ya\u015fam\u0131 birlikte yaz\u0131yorum!\u201d diye bir ifadesi var. \u201c\u00d6l\u00fcmle ya\u015fam\u0131 birlikte yazmak da ne ola ki?\u201d derken Akbal\u2019dan yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131 bir al\u0131nt\u0131y\u0131 ben de kendi haneme yazarak devam ettim.<\/p>\n \u201cBir yerde bir \u015fey bitecek. Herkes i\u00e7in bir yerde her \u015fey bitecek! Hep bu korku! Ya\u015fam denilen \u015fey neyse bitecek diye korkmak… Okurken, yazarken, gezerken, konu\u015furken bir \u015fey giriyor araya, \u00f6n\u00fcm\u00fcze, tad\u0131n\u0131 ka\u00e7\u0131r\u0131yor ya\u015faman\u0131n.\u201d<\/p>\n Oktay Akbal\u2019 a dair o b\u00f6l\u00fcmden okudu\u011fum, beni etkileyen ve d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcren di\u011fer bir nokta, gece yar\u0131lar\u0131na kadar konu\u015ftuk, dertle\u015ftik dedi\u011fi b\u00f6l\u00fcmlerdi. Gece yar\u0131lar\u0131na kadar edilen dostane sohbetlerin, hele de usta bir edebiyat\u00e7\u0131 ile oldu\u011fu d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcncesi, kendi d\u00f6nemimiz i\u00e7in, ben ve bir \u00e7ok gen\u00e7 arkada\u015f\u0131m i\u00e7in, ne kadar yabanc\u0131s\u0131 oldu\u011fumuz \u015feyler diye d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcm. Evet \u015fartlar\u0131n, imk\u00e2nlar\u0131n, ili\u015fki bi\u00e7imlerinin s\u0131n\u0131rs\u0131z say\u0131da att\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 s\u00f6ylemekle beraber, bir yandan kontrols\u00fczce \u00e7o\u011fal\u0131rken ne kadar azald\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131za ac\u0131 ac\u0131 g\u00fcl\u00fcms\u00fcyorum bazen. Belki de b\u00f6yle bir ortamda Ahmet Ha\u015fim ve Beh\u00e7et Necatigil\u2019in izinden gitmenin, Tanp\u0131nar\u2019\u0131n onlara dair ifadesiyle \u201cHayat\u0131 kasten daraltman\u0131n\u201d yap\u0131c\u0131 ve iyile\u015ftirici g\u00fcc\u00fcne s\u0131\u011f\u0131nmam\u0131z, hayat\u0131 y\u00fczeyinden al\u0131p derinle\u015ftirerek ya\u015famam\u0131z gerekecek gibi g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcyor.Yavuz\u2019un, Beh\u00e7et Necatigil i\u00e7in, \u201cD\u00fcnyaya bir \u015fiiri okuyormu\u015f gibi bakard\u0131.\u201d dedi\u011fi gibi bakabilir miyiz d\u00fcnyaya emin de\u011filim. Ya da Mallarme\u2019den yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131 al\u0131nt\u0131ya binaen, \u201cD\u00fcnya, bir kitap olmak \u00fczere vard\u0131r!\u201d D\u00fcnyaya okunacak bir kitap gibi mi bakmal\u0131y\u0131z?<\/p>\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Belle\u011fin neye benzedi\u011fini tam olarak tarif…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":27,"featured_media":10875,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[53,55],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10874"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/27"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=10874"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10874\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=10874"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=10874"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=10874"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}