{"id":10687,"date":"2021-02-01T00:00:48","date_gmt":"2021-01-31T22:00:48","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/kadrandergi.com.tr\/?p=10687"},"modified":"2021-02-01T00:00:48","modified_gmt":"2021-01-31T22:00:48","slug":"kurbaga","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/?p=10687","title":{"rendered":"Kurba\u011fa"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Bir yanl\u0131\u015fl\u0131k olacak. <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Ya kendi duygular\u0131n\u0131z\u0131 yanl\u0131\u015f anlad\u0131n\u0131z<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0Ya Oblamov\u2019u <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Ya da a\u015fk\u0131!<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Kurba\u011fan\u0131n baca\u011f\u0131na bast\u0131m. \u201cY\u00fcr\u00fc,\u201d dedim kendime. Niye \u00fcz\u00fcl\u00fcyorsun ki kurba\u011fan\u0131n kopan baca\u011f\u0131na? Yeniden \u00e7\u0131kar.<\/p>\n

Ya\u011fmur sular\u0131 yolun orta yerinde olu\u015fan \u00e7ukura birikmi\u015f. K\u00fcf sar\u0131s\u0131 \u00e7ukurda larvalar y\u00fcz\u00fcyor. \u00dcst\u00fcnden atlay\u0131p y\u00fcr\u00fcd\u00fcm. Suyla ba\u015flay\u0131p karada devam eden garip, iki ya\u015fay\u0131\u015fl\u0131 hayat s\u0131k\u0131nt\u0131s\u0131 var bu kurba\u011falar\u0131n.<\/p>\n

\u00c7imento \u00e7uval\u0131n\u0131 iki kat y\u00fcklenmem gerek. Atletimin \u00fcst\u00fcnde han\u0131m\u0131n \u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fc gri s\u00fcveter var. S\u0131k\u0131 tembihlemi\u015fti \u201c\u00e7\u0131kartma s\u0131rt\u0131ndan\u201d diye. Ad\u0131m att\u0131k\u00e7a y\u00fcn\u00fcn tuttu\u011fu su, s\u0131rt\u0131mda \u00e7imento ile \u00a0kar\u0131l\u0131p a\u011f\u0131rla\u015ft\u0131 iyiden. Koluna hayalimdeki iki bilezi\u011fi alabilseydim benim de onu nas\u0131l d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm\u00fc bilirdi. Onu d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm\u00fc g\u00f6stermem i\u00e7in y\u00fcn \u00f6rg\u00fcler \u00f6remem ki! \u00a0Alt\u0131n bilezik de olacak gibi de\u011fil. B\u00f6yle i\u015fler zaten hesap g\u00f6t\u00fcrmez.<\/p>\n

Kar\u015f\u0131 in\u015fatta da bizim \u00e7ocuklar var. \u00c7al\u0131\u015fmaya kom\u015fu k\u00f6ylerden birlikte geldik. Mustafa birazdan \u00f6\u011fle yeme\u011fi i\u00e7in toplar arkada\u015flar\u0131. Herhalde yine bah\u00e7\u0131vandan ald\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z karpuzla menemen yeriz. G\u00fcne\u015f \u00a0\u00a0de yemek vaktini \u00e7a\u011f\u0131r\u0131r gibi tam tepede. Kenarlar\u0131 kahverengi kal\u0131n \u015feritli mendilime su verip u\u00e7lar\u0131n\u0131 d\u00fc\u011f\u00fcmlesem, ba\u015f\u0131ma s\u0131ca\u011f\u0131n teneke teneke d\u00f6k\u00fclmesi kesilecek. \u00c7imento \u00e7uval\u0131n\u0131n s\u0131rt\u0131mdaki b\u00fckl\u00fcm\u00fc alt\u0131nda g\u00f6zlerim yerdeki s\u00f6nm\u00fc\u015f kibrit ve tellendirilip bitmi\u015f sarma sigara izmaritlerini s\u00fcr\u00fcyor.<\/p>\n

\u00c7uval\u0131 ayaklar\u0131m\u0131n dibine b\u0131rakmadan \u00f6nce destek vermek i\u00e7in az yana a\u00e7t\u0131m baca\u011f\u0131m\u0131. Yine s\u0131zlad\u0131 hafif. Yorulmu\u015fum. Bitirme azmiyle \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131rken fark etmedim ac\u0131km\u0131\u015f\u0131m da. Yorgunlu\u011fun \u00fcst\u00fcne sigara iyi gider ama yemekten sonra i\u00e7eyim sigaram\u0131 diye fikrimi savarken merdivenin ba\u015f\u0131na kadar gelmi\u015fim.\u00a0 Araban\u0131n yakla\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 o zaman fark ettim.<\/p>\n

G\u00f6mleklerinin uzun kollar\u0131 k\u0131vr\u0131k, siyah g\u00f6zl\u00fckl\u00fc iki adam indi arabadan. Aynas\u0131z gibi duruyorlar. Beyaz g\u00f6mlekli, siyah pantalonlu, uzun burunlu parlak ayakkab\u0131lar giymi\u015f iki ki\u015fi. Polisler ka\u00e7ak \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 m\u0131 ihbar ald\u0131lar? Biri kimli\u011fimi sorarsa elimde olmadan hemen bozar\u0131r y\u00fcz\u00fcm. \u00a0Koltukta oturan arabadan inerken, kocaman g\u00f6be\u011finden gelen iri sesiyle \u201cSelam\u0131n Aleyk\u00fcm,\u201d dedi. Di\u011feri kap\u0131y\u0131 a\u00e7\u0131k b\u0131rak\u0131p yakla\u015ft\u0131 in\u015faata. Araban\u0131n camlar\u0131 yar\u0131ya kadar inik. Sonra fark ettim, beyaz plaka var arabada. \u00d6yleyse polis de\u011filler, ka\u00e7akl\u0131kla alakas\u0131 yok demek. Belki sadece kimlik sorgusudur. Zemin katta kendine derme \u00e7atma bir ofis kuran ustaba\u015f\u0131 burnunu kar\u0131\u015ft\u0131rmay\u0131 b\u0131rak\u0131p, masas\u0131ndan kalkt\u0131, kum tepesinin \u00fcst\u00fcnden at\u0131ld\u0131.<\/p>\n

-Ho\u015f geldiniz.<\/p>\n

-Kim var sorumlu?<\/p>\n

-Ben ustaba\u015f\u0131y\u0131m, dedi Fahri Abi.<\/p>\n

\u201cBuradan ak\u015fam m\u00fczik sesleri geliyormu\u015f ge\u00e7 vakte kadar. Fas\u0131l m\u0131 yap\u0131yorsunuz o\u011flum bu peri\u015fan halinizle? Kom\u015fular \u015fikayet\u00e7iymi\u015f sizden.\u201d<\/p>\n

-Yok Abi. Gen\u00e7ler tak\u0131l\u0131yor i\u015fte g\u00fczel havalarda.<\/p>\n

Mustafa, in\u015faat bitti\u011finde kesece\u011fimiz dut a\u011fac\u0131n\u0131n arkas\u0131ndan yakla\u015f\u0131yordu. Duvardan daha \u00e7ok badanalanm\u0131\u015f, pa\u00e7alar\u0131 i\u00e7e toplanm\u0131\u015f pantolonuna ellerinin tersini kurulad\u0131. Ocak ba\u015f\u0131nda yeme\u011fi haz\u0131rlarken kabaran ter damlalar\u0131n\u0131 kolunun yeniyle s\u0131y\u0131rd\u0131.<\/p>\n

Bizim k\u00f6ydendi Mustafa. \u0130yi ba\u011flama \u00e7alard\u0131. Kar\u015f\u0131 in\u015faat ve bizim in\u015faat\u0131n dokunakl\u0131 sesiydi. Annesiyle babas\u0131 dilsizdi Mustafa\u2019n\u0131n. Duyamazlard\u0131 da. Evlerinde, salon giri\u015fine sabitlenmi\u015f, zilin \u00e7ald\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131, sokak kap\u0131s\u0131n\u0131n a\u00e7\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 yan\u0131p s\u00f6nerek bildiren bir lamba vard\u0131. K\u00f6yde herkesin ilgisini \u00e7ekerdi. Almanya\u2019da y\u0131llar\u0131 ge\u00e7mi\u015f, bu fikri onlara muhtar vermi\u015f. Mustafa b\u00fcy\u00fcy\u00fcnce, anne ve babas\u0131na el i\u015faretleri ile zilin \u00e7ald\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 haber vermeye ba\u015flam\u0131\u015f. K\u00f6ydekilere g\u00f6re y\u0131llar ge\u00e7ip giderken evlenmekte ge\u00e7 kald\u0131 Mustafa. Annesiyle babas\u0131n\u0131 pe\u015f pe\u015fe topra\u011fa verince, \u00e7\u0131kmak istedi k\u00f6yden. D\u0131\u015far\u0131y\u0131 denemek i\u00e7in benimle geldi.<\/p>\n

Konu\u015fmaya devam ediyordu Fahri Abi.<\/p>\n

-Beyefendi buyurun \u00e7ay\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 i\u00e7erken konu\u015fal\u0131m. Hem tan\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u015f oluruz. Iss\u0131z buralar, \u015fik\u00e2yet nas\u0131l geldi kula\u011f\u0131n\u0131za?<\/p>\n

-Bilmem, dedi. L\u00fctfi Abi s\u00f6yledi. Bir de kad\u0131n varm\u0131\u015f, o gelmesinmi\u015f buraya.<\/p>\n

Sesi kararl\u0131yd\u0131. Ba\u015fka da kimseden ses \u00e7\u0131km\u0131yordu.<\/p>\n

Belediyenin uzun zaman hizmet getirmeyi kabul etmedi\u011fi, \u00e7\u00f6plerin bo\u015f bir arazide birikti\u011fi, zamanla kendi de \u00e7\u00f6pl\u00fc\u011fe d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015fen, gecekondular\u0131n yerini yava\u015f yava\u015f apartmanlar\u0131n ald\u0131\u011f\u0131 bir mahalleydi buras\u0131.<\/p>\n

Bet\u00fcl gelirdi ak\u015famlar\u0131 in\u015faata. Yaz ba\u015f\u0131 gibi kar\u015f\u0131la\u015fm\u0131\u015flar. Dut a\u011fac\u0131n\u0131n alt\u0131nda ba\u015flam\u0131\u015f sohbetleri. Mustafa Bet\u00fcl\u2019e \u201cA\u011fa\u00e7tan silkeleyelim istersen\u201d demi\u015f.<\/p>\n

-Abla bir sofra bezi versene, diye girmi\u015fti i\u00e7eri Mustafa. Y\u00fcz\u00fc al al olmu\u015f.<\/p>\n

-N\u2019oldu da, demi\u015fti Yenge.<\/p>\n

-Bi\u2019 han\u0131m var d\u0131\u015far\u0131da, yerden dut yiyor. Ona silkeleyelim a\u011fa\u00e7tan az\u0131c\u0131k. Gel sen de bezin ucundan tut, demi\u015fti. \u00c7isil \u00e7isil dut d\u00f6km\u00fc\u015fler o g\u00fcn a\u011fa\u00e7tan.<\/p>\n

Geceleri bir kul\u00fcpte \u015fark\u0131 s\u00f6yl\u00fcyormu\u015f Bet\u00fcl. Bu civarda oturuyormu\u015f. L\u00fctfi Abi kad\u0131n\u0131n olan biteni umursamaz halinden \u015f\u00fcphelenmi\u015f, takip ettirmi\u015f. \u201c\u00c2\u015f\u0131k m\u0131 oldu o\u011flum bu?\u201d deyip pe\u015fine \u00e7ocuklar\u0131 g\u00f6ndermi\u015f. Bet\u00fcl\u2019e de \u201cGitmeyeceksin\u201d demi\u015f. \u00d6yle s\u00f6ylemi\u015f \u00e7ocuklar Fahri Abi\u2019ye.<\/p>\n

Bet\u00fcl, Yenge\u2019yle iyi anla\u015f\u0131yordu. Yenge ve Fahri Abi in\u015faatlarda geli\u015fi g\u00fczel ya\u015f\u0131yorlard\u0131. O\u011fullar\u0131n\u0131 iki y\u0131l \u00f6nce kucaklar\u0131na almalar\u0131na ra\u011fmen bir yolcu daha bekliyorlard\u0131. Ya\u015f\u0131 da var h\u00e2lbuki Yenge\u2019nin. Re\u015fat o\u011flan, ku\u015flar i\u00e7in art\u0131r\u0131p bir kapta \u0131slad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z ekmeklerden yerdi. Al yanakl\u0131, tombul bir \u00e7ocuktu.<\/p>\n

Bitmedi bizden uzakla\u015fan konu\u015fmalar\u0131.<\/p>\n

Yemek de gecikti. Ben bir sigara yakt\u0131m.<\/p>\n

Bacaklar\u0131m s\u0131zlamaya ba\u015flad\u0131 yeniden. Kalbime taraf at\u0131yordu sanki kabaran damarlar\u0131m. Yukar\u0131 yukar\u0131.<\/p>\n

Ge\u00e7en Fahri Abi\u2019nin kar\u0131s\u0131na bahsettim bacaklar\u0131m\u0131n s\u0131z\u0131s\u0131ndan.<\/p>\n

-Yenge ya! Ne iyi gelir bu bacak a\u011fr\u0131s\u0131na?<\/p>\n

-Kurba\u011fa yakalayal\u0131m sana \u015furalarda \u00e7ok var, dedi. Kurba\u011fa baca\u011f\u0131 iyi gelir. Mangalda tavuk kanad\u0131 pi\u015firir gibi terbiyeleyip pi\u015fireceksin. Bast\u0131\u011f\u0131m yerde s\u0131k\u0131\u015f\u0131p aya\u011f\u0131m\u0131n alt\u0131na baca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 b\u0131rakan kurba\u011fa geldi g\u00f6nl\u00fcme baca\u011f\u0131m\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcrken. Hayvan\u0131n da can\u0131n\u0131 yakt\u0131m yav!<\/p>\n

Yap\u0131lacaklar hayli aksad\u0131. \u0130\u015f yapas\u0131 kalmad\u0131 kimsenin. Beyaz g\u00f6mlekli, siyah pantalonlu adamlar\u0131n anlatacaklar\u0131 bitti, yerini tehditler ald\u0131. D\u00f6n\u00fcp gittiler sonra. Mustafa\u2019n\u0131n da, m\u00fchendisten laf gelir diye Fahri Abi\u2019nin de can\u0131n\u0131n \u00e7ok s\u0131k\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 sab\u0131rla sessiz kalmalar\u0131ndan anlad\u0131k.<\/p>\n

Yemekte:<\/p>\n

-Yesene o\u011flum. Kendin yapt\u0131n diye\u2026<\/p>\n

Dedim<\/p>\n

-\u00c7are bulmam laz\u0131m,\u00a0 Fahri Abi\u2019yi de zorda b\u0131rakmamal\u0131, dedi.<\/p>\n

Aya\u011fa kalkt\u0131. Kola barda\u011f\u0131n\u0131 eline ald\u0131. Ayakta dikti kafas\u0131na. Ters \u00e7evrilmi\u015f kasan\u0131n \u00fczerinde tabakta kald\u0131 yeme\u011fi. \u0130\u00e7ine \u00e7atal\u0131n\u0131 koydu:<\/p>\n

-Afiyet olsun size, dedi. Sonra gelir sofray\u0131 toplar\u0131m.<\/p>\n

-Dert etme sen, dedim. Y\u0131kar\u0131z biz.<\/p>\n

\u0130n\u015faat, istif bir \u015fehrin insan eliyle betondan oyulmu\u015f son abidesiydi. \u0130kinci kat sa\u011f dairede salondan ayaklar\u0131n\u0131 sark\u0131tarak oturdu. Uzak efkarl\u0131 bir seyirlik say\u0131l\u0131yordu. G\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fcn ula\u015fabildi\u011fi yerde sinekmi\u015f\u00e7e u\u00e7anlar\u0131n, yakla\u015ft\u0131k\u00e7a b\u00fcy\u00fck kanatlar\u0131 oldu\u011funu fark ediyordu.<\/p>\n

Sigaras\u0131 bitince oldu\u011fu yerden a\u015fa\u011f\u0131 f\u0131rlatt\u0131\u011f\u0131 sigaras\u0131 tahta iskeleden a\u015f\u0131p d\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc.<\/p>\n

Yaln\u0131z kal\u0131nca, b\u00fct\u00fcn dertlerimize ortak olan Yenge\u2019ye:<\/p>\n

-Seviyorum abla ben Bet\u00fcl\u2019\u00fc. \u00a0Onunla gidece\u011fim, demi\u015f. A\u011flayarak anlatt\u0131 kad\u0131nca\u011f\u0131z sonradan.<\/p>\n

Sormad\u0131m s\u0131k\u0131nt\u0131s\u0131n\u0131. Mustafa bana bir \u015fey demedi. Bana da anlat\u0131r diye bekledim. Yaln\u0131z yenge s\u00f6ylemi\u015f:<\/p>\n

-Sen abisi say\u0131l\u0131rs\u0131n. Seviyormu\u015f k\u0131z\u0131 gidece\u011fim onunla diyor.<\/p>\n

Her \u015feyimi arkada b\u0131rak\u0131p buralara geldikten sonra \u00e7aresizli\u011fin ne demek oldu\u011funu bir kere daha anlam\u0131\u015ft\u0131m. \u0130ki ki\u015finin birbirine tutkusu ve ad\u0131na da sevda deyivermeleri kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda elden ne gelirdi?<\/p>\n

Ak\u0131llar\u0131 ba\u015ftan alan ak\u015fam geceye vurdu\u011funda, ba\u015flad\u0131 gene ikisi. \u0130ki hafta falan var herhalde. Mustafa \u00e7al\u0131yordu Bet\u00fcl\u2019e. Bet\u00fcl s\u00f6yl\u00fcyordu.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Dama bulgur sererler <\/em><\/p>\n

\u00c7\u0131kma boyun g\u00f6r\u00fcrler <\/em><\/p>\n

Sa\u00e7\u0131n ibri\u015fim teli <\/em><\/p>\n

Han\u00e7ere ba\u011f \u00f6rerler<\/em><\/p>\n

Ezberimde bir iki dize olsun g\u00fczel s\u00f6z yoktur. Sesim de g\u00fczel say\u0131lmaz. Herkes kadar; ama g\u00fczel bir t\u00fcrk\u00fcde bizim oralar gelir akl\u0131ma, yollar\u0131n sonu. Mahzun g\u00f6zlerinde gurbeti savd\u0131\u011f\u0131m kar\u0131m, annemin emaneti gelinlik \u00e7a\u011f\u0131ndaki bac\u0131m, kahkahas\u0131n\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcp y\u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc akl\u0131mda tuttu\u011fum bizim ufakl\u0131k.<\/p>\n

Mustafa herkes \u00e7ekildikten sonra s\u00f6ylemeye ba\u015flad\u0131\u011f\u0131nda al\u0131p g\u00f6t\u00fcrd\u00fc beni \u00f6telere o gece. Zannetmem. \u0130\u00e7miyorlard\u0131r. Namaz\u0131nda niyaz\u0131ndad\u0131r Mustafa. \u015eimdi kar\u015f\u0131 in\u015faatta oldu\u011fu i\u00e7in g\u00f6rm\u00fcyorum. K\u0131lm\u0131yor mu acaba namazlar\u0131n\u0131?<\/p>\n

Bu sabah kurba\u011fa sesleriyle uyand\u0131m. Ba\u015fucumda k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck bir \u00e7uvalda tortop olmu\u015f bir s\u00fcr\u00fc kurba\u011fa.\u00a0 A\u00e7 karn\u0131mdan \u00f6\u011f\u00fcrt\u00fc geldi. Kediler ba\u011f\u0131rt\u0131lar\u0131na \u00fc\u015f\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015f. Bir k\u0131p\u0131rt\u0131yla sa\u011fa sola y\u0131\u011f\u0131l\u0131yor \u00e7uval arada.\u00a0 Ne kadar ya\u015far ki bunlar \u00e7uval\u0131n i\u00e7inde?<\/p>\n

Do\u011fruldu\u011fum gibi \u00f6rg\u00fcs\u00fc giyilmekten gev\u015femi\u015f gri s\u00fcveterimi s\u0131rt\u0131ma ge\u00e7irdim. Yengeyi bulmak i\u00e7in a\u015fa\u011f\u0131 indim.<\/p>\n

Kocas\u0131 ortal\u0131kta dola\u015f\u0131yordu.<\/p>\n

-Fahri Abi, Yenge mi toplad\u0131 bu kurba\u011falar\u0131 dedim.<\/p>\n

-Ne bileyim ben dedi. Toplam\u0131\u015ft\u0131r. Korkmaz o si\u011fil atmalar\u0131ndan.<\/p>\n

-Abi nas\u0131l pi\u015firece\u011fiz bunlar\u0131?<\/p>\n

-Yahu o bilir. Sorars\u0131n yengene. Buralardad\u0131r. O\u011flan\u0131 tuvalete falan g\u00f6t\u00fcrm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fcr, dedi kendine g\u00fcvenen bir sesle.<\/p>\n

Arkas\u0131ndan ekledi, benimle konu\u015fmak i\u00e7in f\u0131rsat kolluyormu\u015f:<\/p>\n

-O\u011flum d\u00fcn gece bu Mustafa \u00e7al\u0131p s\u00f6yl\u00fcyordu. Kad\u0131n da yan\u0131ndayd\u0131 galiba. Konu\u015f \u015fununla. Mesele M\u00fchendis Bey\u2019e kadar giderse hepimizi kaz\u0131rlar buradan. \u00d6yle ge\u00e7en seferki gibi dayak yedi\u011fiyle kalmaz Mustafa.<\/p>\n

-Konu\u015fay\u0131m abi. N\u2019aparlar bilmem ki. D\u00fcn yoktu sanki. Uzun s\u00fcredir gelmiyor. Mustafa \u00e7ok efk\u00e2rl\u0131 zaten bu ara. Yenge de iyi anla\u015f\u0131yor kad\u0131nla. Yenge de kad\u0131na m\u0131 s\u00f6ylese.<\/p>\n

-Ona da s\u00f6ylerim.<\/p>\n

Elimden \u00e7eki\u015ftiren haylaz \u00e7ocuk gibi \u00e7uval\u0131n i\u00e7inde z\u0131plamaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015fan kurba\u011falar \u00e7\u0131kmak istiyorlard\u0131 belli. Ya\u015famaya kanamam\u0131\u015f onca kurba\u011fa omuzumdan elimi a\u015fa\u011f\u0131 a\u015fa\u011f\u0131 \u00e7ekiyorlard\u0131.<\/p>\n

Yengeyi aramaya koyuldum.<\/p>\n

Apartman giri\u015finde, asans\u00f6r bo\u015flu\u011funun yan\u0131ndaki daire i\u00e7in \u2018bizim ev\u2019 diyorlard\u0131. Bu in\u015faat sezonu da pencereleri naylonla kaplanm\u0131\u015f bu daireye s\u0131\u011f\u0131nm\u0131\u015flard\u0131. Elbette kap\u0131s\u0131, cam\u0131 ve pek tabii bacas\u0131 olan bir evdi hayalleri. Baca zaten \u00f6yle de b\u00f6yle de t\u00fct\u00fcyordu ama i\u015fte\u2026<\/p>\n

Sesimi duyurmaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015fsam da kar\u015f\u0131l\u0131k bulamad\u0131m. Asans\u00f6r bo\u015flu\u011funu Re\u015fat d\u00fc\u015fmesin diye art\u0131k kerestelerle kapatm\u0131\u015flard\u0131. Oradan bile seslendim a\u015fa\u011f\u0131 do\u011fru. Bulamad\u0131m. Ne yapaca\u011f\u0131m bu kurba\u011falar\u0131? Elimde gezdirip duruyorum.<\/p>\n

Yukar\u0131 katlara do\u011fru da seslendim. Bir k\u0131p\u0131rt\u0131 yoktu. Binadan \u00e7\u0131karken Yenge\u2019nin d\u0131\u015far\u0131dan gelen sesini duydum. A\u015fa\u011f\u0131dan apartman\u0131n kap\u0131s\u0131na do\u011fru ko\u015fuyordu.<\/p>\n

-Yapma Fahri dur, derken Mustafa\u2019y\u0131 Fahri Abi\u2019nin ellerinden kurtrarmak i\u00e7in at\u0131ld\u0131. Y\u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fcn\u00a0 etraf\u0131na dolayarak sa\u00e7\u0131n\u0131 \u00f6rtt\u00fc\u011f\u00fc beyaz i\u011fne oyal\u0131 \u00e7ember boncuklar\u0131n a\u011f\u0131rl\u0131\u011f\u0131 ile savruldu. \u00c7ocuk da a\u011flamaya ba\u015flad\u0131.<\/p>\n

M\u00fchendis gelmi\u015fti. Etrafta garip birka\u00e7 adam daha vard\u0131. Fahri Abi bana do\u011fru konu\u015fsa da sesini duymuyordum. Az \u00f6nce h\u0131rpalanmaktan kurtulup elleri dizlerinde nefes almaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015fan Mustafa\u2019n\u0131n \u00fcst\u00fcne y\u00fcr\u00fcd\u00fc. Katlanm\u0131\u015f bir k\u00e2\u011f\u0131d\u0131 avucunun i\u00e7inde s\u0131kt\u0131. Sonra Mustafa\u2019n\u0131n a\u011fz\u0131na sokmaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131.<\/p>\n

Di\u011fer adamlar ve m\u00fchendis hareketsiz onu izliyordu. Ben ve Yenge Fahri Abi\u2019yi Mustafa\u2019n\u0131n yakas\u0131ndan ay\u0131rmaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131k. Mustafa\u2019dan ayr\u0131ld\u0131, g\u00f6zlerini bana do\u011frulttu. Aya\u011fa kalk\u0131p yerdeki buru\u015fuk k\u00e2\u011f\u0131d\u0131 ald\u0131. \u201cBak!\u201d dedi. Bak\u0131\u015flar\u0131 kin doluydu.<\/p>\n

\u0130n\u015faat\u0131 Durdurma Karar Tutana\u011f\u0131.<\/p>\n

\u201c\u015eik\u00e2yet etmi\u015fler\u201d dedi.<\/p>\n

-Onlar m\u0131, dedim.<\/p>\n

-Herhalde, kim olacak, dedi.<\/p>\n

\u00c7uvalla yeni kurumu\u015f \u00e7imentonun kal\u0131nt\u0131lar\u0131 \u00fcst\u00fcne b\u0131rakt\u0131\u011f\u0131m kurba\u011falar da \u00e7\u0131rp\u0131nmaktan vazge\u00e7mi\u015fti. Arada gelen c\u0131l\u0131z ba\u011f\u0131rt\u0131lar olmasa hepsi \u00f6ld\u00fc sanaca\u011f\u0131m.<\/p>\n

\u00d6yle olur ya!\u00a0 Kendinden ge\u00e7ersin de evdekileri d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcrs\u00fcn hemen. Para kazanamazsam, k\u0131\u015f gelmeden parayla d\u00f6nemezsem buradan. Pencerede bekleyenler gelir akl\u0131na, kap\u0131n\u0131n \u00f6n\u00fcnde ba\u011flamasan da ka\u00e7mayacak k\u00f6pek, erimi\u015f karlar\u0131n i\u00e7inden ge\u00e7erek her g\u00fcn okula giden o\u011flun, art\u0131k ekilmeyen tarlalar, bir anda kaybetmi\u015f oldu\u011funu anlayan akl\u0131n geride kalan ne varsa s\u00fcp\u00fcr\u00fcp getiriverir.<\/p>\n

Kurba\u011falar\u0131 ne kesecek ne de \u0131zgara edecek halim kalm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. \u00c7uval\u0131 Mustafa\u2019yla su birikintisinin yan\u0131na ta\u015f\u0131d\u0131m. Benden az \u00f6nde gidiyordu. Bitkindi. Konu\u015fmad\u0131 uzun s\u00fcre. Sonra;<\/p>\n

-Bir \u015feyler geveliyordu en son, dedi. Bir daha gelmeyece\u011fine dair. Arada b\u00f6yle \u015feyler s\u00f6yler de yine gelir diyordum. Nas\u0131l anlat\u0131l\u0131r abi hissettiklerin?<\/p>\n

Anlamad\u0131m. Sessiz kald\u0131k sonra. G\u00f6z ucuyla bana bakarken yakalad\u0131m bak\u0131\u015flar\u0131n\u0131. Y\u00fcre\u011fini y\u00fcz\u00fcme g\u00f6mer gibiydi.<\/p>\n

Anlat\u0131rken g\u00f6\u011fs\u00fcn\u00fc r\u00fczg\u00e2ra vermi\u015f, elleri cebine s\u0131\u011fmam\u0131\u015f denize bakan bir adamd\u0131 sanki Mustafa. Ceketinin savrulmas\u0131n\u0131 umursamayacak kadar kap\u0131lm\u0131\u015f.<\/p>\n

\u201c\u00c7ak\u0131n\u0131 ver,\u201d dedim i\u00e7i su dolu \u00e7amurdan \u00e7ukura yakla\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131zda. Cebine elini at\u0131p uzatt\u0131. Sap\u0131ndaki pullar\u0131 g\u00fcne\u015fe \u00e7\u0131kar\u0131nca fark ettim. B harfi vard\u0131 i\u015flemede. Bir de M. \u0130ki harfin aras\u0131nda k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck \u00e7ivilerle i\u015flenmi\u015f k\u0131rm\u0131z\u0131 bir kalp motifi.<\/p>\n

Bo\u011fumu kestim. Geriye do\u011fru ad\u0131m atarak suyun yan\u0131ndan \u00e7ekildim. Kurba\u011falar ya\u015fama do\u011fru ko\u015ftular. Ka\u00e7\u0131\u015f\u0131rlarken arkalar\u0131ndan bakt\u0131k Mustafa\u2019yla. \u00c7amurlu \u00e7uval\u0131 i\u00e7inin bo\u015fald\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan emin olunca kald\u0131rd\u0131m. Bir a\u011f\u0131rl\u0131k vard\u0131 k\u00f6\u015fesinde. \u00c7amurunu \u00fczerime bula\u015ft\u0131rmamaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015farak i\u00e7ine bakt\u0131m. Ka\u00e7amam\u0131\u015f bir kurba\u011fa.<\/p>\n

G\u00f6z g\u00f6ze geldik sanki.<\/p>\n

Bir baca\u011f\u0131 tamd\u0131. Bir baca\u011f\u0131 varla yok aras\u0131.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Bir yanl\u0131\u015fl\u0131k olacak. Ya kendi…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":282,"featured_media":10658,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[67,53],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10687"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/282"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=10687"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10687\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=10687"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=10687"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=10687"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}