Notalar\u0131n en uza\u011f\u0131nda nihavent makam\u0131ndas\u0131n \u015fimdi Suzidilara. Nihayet eri\u015ftim sana ya\u011fmur damlalar\u0131n\u0131n sa\u00e7aklar\u0131 s\u00fcsleyen ezgileri aras\u0131nda. Sesinden sa\u00e7\u0131lan g\u00fcl yapraklar\u0131n\u0131n rengini asarken odama ald\u0131rmad\u0131m asla perde arkas\u0131ndan yans\u0131t\u0131lan yalanlara. Hakk\u0131 yoktu \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc hi\u00e7 kimsenin ya\u015famad\u0131\u011f\u0131 bir hayatla ilgili yorumlar yapmaya.\u00a0 \u0130nanmayacaks\u0131n belki ama kula\u011f\u0131n\u0131n k\u0131y\u0131s\u0131nda e\u011flenen bukleleri k\u0131skand\u0131m bir gece yar\u0131s\u0131nda. Anlamad\u0131\u011f\u0131m gibi anlatamad\u0131m da sere serpe uzand\u0131\u011f\u0131m ku\u015f t\u00fcy\u00fc yata\u011f\u0131m hangi ara d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc bu kakt\u00fcs tarlas\u0131na.
\nSoluk solu\u011fa ka\u00e7\u0131p geldi\u011fim k\u00e2buslarda y\u00fcz\u00fcn s\u0131\u011f\u0131nma duvar\u0131m olmu\u015ftu sol yan\u0131ma.
\nNe ans\u0131z\u0131n patlayan f\u0131rt\u0131nalar umurumdayd\u0131 ne de g\u00f6z\u00fcmden d\u00fc\u015fenlerin melodisine kap\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131 m\u00fctemadiyen arkam\u0131zdan \u00e7al\u0131nan dedikodu kayd\u0131. Zira sana a\u00e7\u0131lan penceremde hak\u00eem olan mevsim hep bahard\u0131. Onmayan onca yaran\u0131n sanc\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 yat\u0131racakt\u0131n dizlerine, sonra \u015fifa da\u011f\u0131tan ellerinle saracakt\u0131n onlar\u0131. Tadacakt\u0131m ak\u0131tt\u0131\u011f\u0131m ya\u015flar\u0131n hesab\u0131n\u0131 sorman\u0131n hazz\u0131n\u0131 ve \u0131zd\u0131rab\u0131n\u0131. Yakacakt\u0131m limandan ayr\u0131lan son geminin yadig\u00e2r b\u0131rakt\u0131\u011f\u0131 \u00e7akmakla maziden kalma r\u0131ht\u0131m\u0131.<\/p>\n
Ruhumu bulacakt\u0131m bunca kaybolmu\u015flu\u011fun i\u00e7inde. Sivrilmeden do\u011frulacakt\u0131m hainlerin ininde; c\u00fcmlelerim her ne kadar devrikse de. Demirden da\u011f\u0131 eriten atalar\u0131m\u0131n azmiyle, karanl\u0131\u011f\u0131 delen \u015fim\u015fekler e\u015fli\u011finde K\u00fcr\u015fad’\u0131n izinde basacakt\u0131m i\u00e7imdeki \u00c7in Mal\u0131 kalitesindeki h\u00fcz\u00fcn saray\u0131n\u0131. Ba\u015ftan a\u015fa\u011f\u0131 bir kahkaha yap\u0131\u015ft\u0131racakt\u0131m otuz iki yeni di\u015fle, pul pul d\u00f6k\u00fclen g\u00fcl\u00fc\u015flerimize. Sefas\u0131ndan \u00e7ok cefas\u0131na yand\u0131\u011f\u0131m d\u00fcnyan\u0131n hangi k\u00f6\u015fesinde vard\u0131r kokunla sermest olmu\u015flu\u011fumun tarif\u00e7esi. Leh\u00e7esi bozuk adamlar\u0131n dilinden kurtuldum derken g\u00f6rd\u00fcm ki buradaki herkes kendi \u201cArgo Cumhuriyetinin\u00e9 krali\u00e7esi. \u0130ki kadeh devirmek ne kadar faydas\u0131zsa bunayan akl\u0131m\u0131za iki kelime etmek de o kadar abesle i\u015ftigaldir bu diplomal\u0131 ama cahil g\u00fcr\u00fbha. Kusura bakmak gibi huylar\u0131n al\u0131\u015fkanl\u0131\u011fa d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc\u011f\u00fc \u015fu zamanda ehemmiyetini kaybeden b\u00fct\u00fcn fikirler ayn\u0131 \u00f6zr\u00fcn \u00f6zg\u00fcr iradesine s\u0131\u011f\u0131nm\u0131\u015f g\u00fcya! \u0130nanma, bu mesnetsiz savunma d\u00fcped\u00fcz g\u00fcnd\u00fcz g\u00f6z\u00fcyle g\u00f6r\u00fclm\u00fc\u015f bir r\u00fcya.<\/p>\n
\u00d6yle k\u0131rg\u0131n bakma bana Suzidilara bari sen anla. Yerdi\u011fim yerden kendimi uzak tuttu\u011fum sanr\u0131s\u0131na kap\u0131lma. Ki ben en \u00e7ok kendime k\u0131zg\u0131n yine en \u00e7ok kendimden uza\u011f\u0131m bu hayatta. Bo\u015funa harcam\u0131\u015f\u0131m zaman\u0131, kar\u015f\u0131ma \u00e7\u0131kan kuklalar\u0131n mimiklerine bak\u0131p anlam \u00e7\u0131karmaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmakla. Akla gelmeyecek hayaller kurmu\u015f, kabul olmayacak dualar biriktirmi\u015fim avcumda. Her nefes ayn\u0131 hevesle yakla\u015f\u0131rken birbirine yak\u0131\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 zannetmi\u015fim g\u00fcne\u015fin karlar \u00fclkesine.<\/p>\n
Sesime ses olur sanm\u0131\u015f\u0131m seher vakti b\u00fclb\u00fcl\u00fcn kanayan feryad\u0131ndaki dikeni. G\u00fcl\u00fcn \u015f\u00f6hretinden haberdar olan de\u011fil; t\u00f6hmet alt\u0131nda kalan bilir derdi \u00e7ekeni. Ekti\u011fin tohumlar belirler g\u00f6n\u00fcl ehlinin topra\u011f\u0131nda ye\u015ferecek bereketi. Velhas\u0131l ad\u0131 alt\u0131nda bir araya toplayamayaca\u011f\u0131m\u0131z ac\u0131lar\u0131n merkezinden ge\u00e7iyoruz en geni\u015f a\u00e7\u0131larla Suzidilara. S\u00f6z g\u00fcm\u00fc\u015fse s\u00fck\u00fbt alt\u0131nd\u0131r diye diye susturulan bu dili hor g\u00f6rme; bir g\u00fcn yeltenirse firara!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Notalar\u0131n en uza\u011f\u0131nda nihavent makam\u0131ndas\u0131n \u015fimdi…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":125,"featured_media":10020,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[67,53],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10027"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/125"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=10027"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10027\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=\/"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=10027"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=10027"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kadrandergi.com.tr\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=10027"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}